Happily Ever After....

I'm a Mommy Again!!!

2010-07-31T16:08:00.004-05:00

I'm just the worst at posting anymore! Just wanted to share that we had our court date July 7. The adoption was made official on July 19, and we just brought our sweet Charlie home yesterday!!! He is beautiful, wonderful and precious, and he's perfect for our family. I plan to post more details soon about our crazy journey to Charlie, but in the meantime, here are some pics of our little sweetheart!

WE'RE GOING TO RUSSIA...FINALLY!!!!!!!

2010-02-15T17:11:00.002-05:00

Oh, dear friends (and you wonderful people I don't know but wish I did!),

This is the day we've waited to experience for three long years, and now we have no idea what to do with ourselves!!!!!! We got the phone call today (at 11:11, which is another story I'll mention in a minute), telling us that the Adoption Committee has extended a formal invitation to us to travel to Russia and meet our little boy!!!!!

There are not enough exclamation points in the world to portray my excitement!

A couple of years ago, we began seeing 11:11 twice a day, almost everyday on the clock. It wasn't as if we were watching for it, it just kept happening. It became almost creepy, and I told several close friends and family members that something big was going to happen for us either at 11:11, on November 11 or in November of 2011. I was half-joking, but this was such a cool thing today when I took the call, got the news, looked at the clock and....Whoa!

We have been given a few weeks notice (more than a lot of people receive), and even though we want to jump on a plane NOW, this preparation time is wonderful. We will be able to get cheaper flights and visas, make arrangements for my parents to come stay with the boys and get everything together that we want to take to our little sweetheart and to the other Russian children we've come to love along the way in this process.

We have been putting one foot in front of the other, plodding along, through so many setbacks because we didn't feel like God had given us permission to give up yet. I realize today that I must have lost hope somewhere along the way, though. I was shocked by the wonderful news this morning!

Anyway, I could go on and on, but I need to start brushing up on my Russian and buying presents for my little guy and....and....and....

:D

Delays & Red Tape

2010-01-20T09:34:00.002-05:00

As I look at my last post, I realize that it's been two months since we expected travel dates any day. In keeping with the routine of Russian adoption, the Committee requested additional paperwork and a slight change to our home study. We sent everything in just before Christmas, but as some of you know, Russia basically shuts down for the first two weeks in January as they celebrate Orthodox Christmas on January 7. Our amended paperwork was submitted two days ago, and yet another document has been requested. It is, thankfully, a very simple one to provide. We have it notarized, and I will be making the two-hour drive to our state capitol to have it apostilled and overnighted to our agency. The Committee promised to issue travel dates as soon as they receive it, so (at least in theory, but we know how that goes already) we should have travel dates in the next few weeks. I'll believe it when I see it. We remain hopeful but skeptical after three years on this journey. We'll get there eventually!

Garin is in now in afternoon preschool with our district, receiving occupational and speech therapy. He's in a classroom with two other children who have mild ASD, and he LOVES it! We've only had a couple of adjustment issues: 1) He has to walk through a noisy cafeteria to get to his classroom, and 2) he really was unhappy to see me waiting for him at the end of school because he wanted to ride the yellow bus! We have taught him to prepare himself and cover his ears to prevent overstimulation during the cafeteria walk-through, and he's done fine with that. And as for the bus, he is riding it home after school, and everyday he steps off with a look on his face that says, "I am so big, and I am so cool!" He loves it! We continue to see great progress in him, and his therapists are very pleased, as are we.

Matt continues to work hard as he finishes up his senior year (sniff) and has almost decided on a college. I'll wait to reveal that choice until he's sure, but he is starting to get excited about the adventures on which his new life will take him.

Karl has been working crazy hours since this Haiti earthquake. He's on a crisis team that is responsible for getting the relief missions scheduled to deliver troops and supplies. I know he's proud to be contributing, but he's exhausted.

I'm just plugging away on the homefront, trying to keep up with the house and kids and plan worship for our wonderful church!

I'll let you know when we get those travel dates!

Anybody Still Out There???

2009-11-20T15:27:00.002-05:00

It's been far too long, I know! We've had an eventful few months, but I just haven't had the heart to share our journey. It's been hard, but we're starting to find our way out of the fog and see our direction more clearly!

After we lost the chance to adopt D & K, we spent some time thinking and praying about whether we wanted to continue the adoption process in Russia or if that would be too painful. In the end, we decided that our hearts were still with Russia, so we had our home study updated, and our dossier was registered last week in St. Petersburg. Within the next week, we hope to hear from the Committee with travel dates to go meet our little one!

We also received a diagnosis this summer that, although it was not a surprise, required some adjustment of our lives. Our little guy, Garin, has autism. It's amazing how the very thing we expected to hear the doctor say still threw us for a loop when the words were actually spoken. Suddenly, after seeing friends struggle with autism diagnoses for their children and watching countless television interviews during Autism Awareness Month, we were in the club. The club no one WANTS to be in, but at the same time, a club that we feel privileged to be part of. These are amazing people who learn to cope with the most overwhelming circumstances, and not only cope but thrive. These are kids and adults who fight hard for what most people completely take for granted. These folks may not behave in ways we consider acceptable, but they behave far better than the rest of us would, given their challenges. The more I understand about autism, the more I admire my son's abilities to adapt.

We have started ABA therapy twice a week and have seen him make incredible strides in the one month he has been doing it! His language development has taken off, and he is beginning to understand feelings that he couldn't identify before. We're also making rapid progress toward potty training, which previously was a source of terror and tears. There is great potential and great hope! Every day is a new awakening for us, and we are thankful for it. I wouldn't change who he is and what he is teaching us. He is a joy!

Matt is up to his eyeballs in senior-year fun! He went to State in cross country, which was a great way to finish his high-school career. His Hi-Q team goes to semi-finals and finals in a couple of weeks, and then the regular Scholar Bowl season starts. The last couple of months have provided precious little free time, as he has also been writing college application essays and getting them in. I must brag that he got a 33 on his ACT! I'm hoping for lots of scholarships!

So I'm back into the blog world to chronicle this newest leg of our adoption journey, as well as the events of our lives....if anybody's reading....

Dear Friends,

2009-06-02T14:14:00.002-05:00

I've been putting off blogging in the hope that my next entry would be sharing the excellent news that we were traveling to Russia to meet our children. We were expecting that to happen in March, after our paperwork was accepted by the adoption committee. Without going into too many details, I must share with you that this trip will not happen. Although the government of Russia is willing to move forward, as we have been for over two years now, there are others who have the power to halt the process by not providing the necessary documents for the adoption. Unfortunately, because of their own negative opinions about Russian children being adopted by American families (whether for economic, political or personal reasons, we'll never know), they have chosen to make it impossible for D & K to be adopted. Our hearts are broken, but we know that God has a plan for us and for them, and we will trust His will. We know that we are called to adopt, and we will. For now, we are trying to grieve this loss and figure out where we are supposed to go from here.

I've started a part-time job as Music Administrator at our church. I'm responsible for scheduling the praise team and planning all the music for worship, among other things. I am so blessed to be able to work with people who are so special to me, and it doesn't feel like work so much as fun.

Life is great for us, overall. Please keep us in your prayers as we try to decide when, where and how we will adopt and add to our family.

Stellan's Story

2009-05-23T16:21:00.003-05:00

Pray for Stellan

2009-03-24T08:19:00.003-05:00

Friends,

It has been a busy time, and there is so much to update, but this is not the moment for it. I would ask those of you who pray to do so now for little Stellan, whose life hangs in the balance (again) today. You can read his miraculous story and updates here:

I don't believe it!

2009-02-20T19:59:00.003-05:00

It's only been a week since my last post, and here I am again! Remember the old days when I was writing more than once in twenty-four hours???

What's been happening this week? We finally moved our YMCA membership from Dover and have been making (almost) daily visits. I love what regular workouts do for my body and my spirit....ahhhhh. We've had one sick little boy, and my biggest boy (my husband) is coming down with something. My tall, skinny teenager has been back to the doctor to get a new physical therapy referral for his bum knee that keeps messing up his cross-country running. I have been cooking and cleaning and running the taxi service, and in between those duties, I'm still trying to find a home study agency to do an update since we left Delaware. We continue to wait for travel dates and wake up every morning thinking maybe this will be the day. Not yet...but one day it WILL be! Matt is going to see his buddy's band play tonight, an all-day scholar bowl competition tomorrow and a band concert on Sunday afternoon. Naw, we're not busy!

We're excited that we have several friends coming to visit between now and Easter! Scott will be here in early March, and Josh & Kim are coming in mid-March. Then in early April, Kelley & Rob and Tory & Peter will be here! How fun it is when our worlds overlap and collide! Gotta love the Air Force!

It's almost bedtime for our little Pooh bear, so I'd better go get him ready. I'm looking forward to a couple of hours all alone before my big guys start arriving home! So many possibilities....what does one do with two hours of "me" time?!?!

Anybody Still Out There???

2009-02-13T11:31:00.002-05:00

Hi Friends! It's been far too long (again) since my last post! I have got to get back in the habit, but life has been a whirlwind this past month, and I have barely found time to sleep. I have, however, managed to check facebook regularly, so it's a better way to stay connected with me these days. I guess I've joined the ranks of the FB addicts.

We are now settled into our new home in a new state. Karl has a new job, and our lives are looking much different these days in many ways. In other ways, things are very much the same. We have seen a 70-degree temperature variance in the three weeks we've been here, but I think the entirety of the contiguous 48 states could say the same. We are enjoying renewing relationships with old friends here, but we also miss our Dover friends greatly...especially our small group. There aren't any small groups for couples in our age range (at least not that we've discovered) in our church here, so we'll probably start one if we can find some interested families. We are starting back into the praise team rotation in March and are looking forward to getting back into the groove of Wednesday-night suppers at church, followed by Bible study classes and praise team rehearsal. Our church here is getting a new pastor. As much as we love the former pastor and will miss him, we are also excited about getting to know our new pastor! We have heard wonderful things and are looking forward to hearing her preach and seeing how God will use her to help us grow spiritually and reach out to the community!!! This predominately Caucasian church has, as long as I've been affiliated with it, been very welcoming to all people regardless of race, socioeconomic status, etc. We have many families who have adopted African-American children, as well as children from Russia, China and all over the world. I think it will be a great thing for all of us to have an African-American pastor with such a heart for God and for people! I hear she has a gift for preaching and an enthusiastic, fun and easygoing spirit that will be great for our church!

The good news, adoption-wise, is that our documents were registered and accepted in Russia in January. We were told to expect travel dates at any time, so we are cautiously optimistic and hopeful!

Garin celebrated his third birthday last weekend with his little friend, hot dogs, cupcakes and a beautiful afternoon at the park. We also took him shopping for his new playset and let him spend the birthday money he received. An evening at ToysRUs is heaven to a little boy, but the decision-making is impossible for a three-year-old, so Mama and Daddy helped with that part.

Matt and I have made three trips to the DMV to get his license, but the lines are crazy, and their hours are ridiculously unpredictable, so he hasn't actually gotten to drive yet! We'll go back today and try again. He has been stuck waiting now for over seven months past his 16th birthday, as he got caught up in changes and new requirements that were added to the state driving laws right about the time he was ready to get his license. He's met the requirements. Now if we could just take the stupid test!

Karl is really enjoying his new job! He finds it interesting and challenging and enjoys the people he works with. The nice thing is that he is home every night and is not flying while we're here. There is definitely a lot of adjustment happening, though, because he is working 12-hour days here and eating lunch at his desk. At Dover, we saw him a lot more when he was home and had more flexibility if I needed him to watch Garin when I had a doctor or haircut appointment. I'm learning to work around things, and we're beginning...BEGINNING...to find a rhythm to daily life again. I am looking at a preschool for next year, so Garin can be with other kids three mornings a week for 2.5 hours. That will still let me be with him most of the time and also provide him with socialization and organized learning time. It is becoming obvious that he needs to learn to accept more structure and not have everything his way, at it is when it's just the two of us all day.

In case I don't get back tomorrow...Happy Valentine's Day to all!!!

Merry Christmas to D & K...

2009-01-06T21:42:00.002-05:00

As I write this tonight, the day is breaking in St. Petersburg. It is their Christmas Day. I am praying tonight that it will be a joyous and special day for them and that God will somehow give them hope of having a family....soon.

Time to Pack...

2008-12-28T19:26:00.002-05:00

HI! I have been sorely negligent lately, haven't I? But life has been so exciting! We had an absolutely wonderful Christmas! Although it is always hard to be away from family during the holidays, we are so blessed with amazing friends who make it not only bearable, but truly joyful. We enjoyed a great Christmas Eve service and had close friends over on Christmas Eve and again on Christmas night, sharing food, laughter and great conversation. Karl, Matt and I were up until 1:30 am on Christmas morning, assembling Garin's train table, but it was all worth it for the look on his face when he woke up and saw it the next morning! After all of our gift-opening, I cooked a nice, big lunch for the four of us on Christmas Day and made my great-grandmother's rolls, which are a necessity for any family holiday celebration. Matt flew out on Saturday afternoon to meet his dad and head to Colorado for some skiing before school resumes. The rest of us had a really special morning at church. It's always iffy when we haven't had praise team rehearsal during the week, but it came together this morning in a big way, and worship was great. We had lunch with three other families, came home for a nap, and then met some other friends for dinner tonight. We're all exhausted, but happily so!

It's back to the office for Karl tomorrow, as he makes preparations for.....drumroll please....our upcoming move!!! We have known for quite some time that we were up for a new assignment, but it has taken so long to get the actual orders in hand. Orders arrived last week, and we don't have much time to prepare! This assignment is just what we've prayed for. It's great for Karl's career, and it's indescribably awesome for our family. We are choosing, for now, not to disclose the location here on the blog, simply because it is public, and we don't know everyone who is reading it. It's not a great secret, but I'm torn between being open (which I'd love to do in a perfect world) and protecting our family's privacy and security. If you haven't already heard where we're headed and want to know (Amy, Bethany, etc.), please let me know how to contact you off of the blog or find me on facebook, and I'm happy to share more.

We are told that the move should not adversely affect our adoption process. We are still waiting for our Trip 1 invitation, and all our updated paperwork has been submitted. I'm assuming at this point that it won't happen in January due to the Russian Orthodox Christmas season. I'll certainly let you all know when we hear something!

In the meantime, people are planning farewell parties for us (I know!...isn't that sweet?!), so we'll be busy saying goodbyes for the next several weeks! When we moved here, I was sure I'd be thrilled to leave as soon as we got the opportunity. But even though this new assignment is so perfect that I am thrilled to go, I am truly sad to leave Delaware. We have been blessed by some wonderful friends who are irreplaceable. Seriously, how do you say goodbye to a woman who, although she barely knew you, stepped in and spent ten hours in a hospital room with you, held your leg up during childbirth and witnessed the birth of your miracle baby because your own family couldn't be there? We will leave a huge part of our hearts here when we go, and I can honestly say that I hope the Air Force brings us back here. I won't know what to do with my summers when I can't run to the shore at a moment's notice on a hot, sunny day!

I'll write again soon(er). If I don't catch up to you before Thursday, let me wish you a very happy new year!!

Another family shot...

Garin with his train table...

Matt with his new book...

Karl got his long-desired dual-temperature wine refrigerator...
And as much as I hate posting pics of myself with bed head and without makeup, I figure I owe it to my family to do so, since they're all on here the same way...

Merry CHRISTmas!!!

2008-12-24T19:03:00.003-05:00

We just took this after getting home from an awesome Christmas Eve service at church and dropping off cookies to several businesses where people were working late. Hopefully it made them a little more cheerful tonight! We have gumbo on the stove and several friends coming over to share it. We miss our family and want you all to know how much we love you! Merry Christmas!!! May you live in the reality of the blessing of Jesus every day of your life!

Lots Happening These Days!

2008-12-08T21:03:00.003-05:00

It's been far too long since my last "real" post. Sorry. We've had a lot of curveballs thrown at us these last few weeks....some phenomenally wonderful and others slightly annoying. Unfortunately, I can't share everything with you YET. But soon I will tell all, when we are able to do so.

Our great news today is that our updated paperwork if FINALLY on its way to Russia!!!!! We are now hoping against the odds for a travel date in late December or early January, before the Russian people take their Orthodox Christmas holiday, which lasts most of the month of January. For those of you who do not already know, very little official business happens during January because of the Christmas season. If not, we hope to travel in February. I'll keep you posted! I can think of no greater gift (except bringing them home) than to finally meet our children just in time for their Christmas!

We have been so blessed to watch several friends travel to Taiwan, China and Russia in the last month to bring children home! It brings us such hope and joy!!! We are praying for you all!

2008-11-27T21:19:00.005-05:00

Update****It would seem that my 2-year-old son wanted to wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving and therefore decided to hijack my blog and leave his message here (although we obviously need to work on spelling). He was playing a SesameStreet.com game tonight....I thought. And then I checked the blog and found this message. Sometimes the child's technological savvy terrifies me. He cannot yet grasp the concept of pooping on the potty, but he can maneuver the internet better than most adults....

Well, let me join him in wishing you all the happiest of Thanksgivings! Hope you are all feeling blessed and full of turkey!****

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Home By Another Way

2008-11-17T15:11:00.004-05:00

This is the beautiful story of Yanet and her new parents, all of whom have been waiting so long to find each other: http://homebyanotherway-ethiopia.blogspot.com/

Something to consider...

2008-11-13T16:06:00.001-05:00

Perhaps we need to look at giving differently. May I also suggest Buckner International (http://www.buckner.org/voice.shtml), to which we choose to donate? Every penny, 100% goes to help "the least of these" because administrative costs are paid through a separate fund.

Praying for Adoptive Families

2008-11-11T21:03:00.003-05:00

So many of us are waiting, and most of us have no idea why it's taking so long! Amy, my sweet blog friend, posted a comment on my last entry, asking for prayer for their adoption process. They have already been on the first trip to meet their children but have been waiting months (like 4 or 5!) for a court date. Please pray with me that things will move forward for them and the two little ones who are waiting for Mama and Papa to come get them.

We, too, are feeling the pain of waiting. It's been 19 months since we began this process. We were told a month ago that we could travel this month, but our homestudy caseworker and adoption caseworker have taken a month to finally discuss the home study addendum (the last document needed for Russia to extend our travel invitation. They are not in agreement as to format and wording. Meanwhile, our children go to bed one more night without a family. Please pray that they will stop procrastinating, come to an agreement and get this thing finished quickly, so that we will be able to meet D & K.

So many families are waiting, and even more children are waiting. It's National Adoption Month, so it would be a great time to lift up all adoptive families in prayer and consider what role you might play in helping these children!

Just for You, Amy and Jill!

2008-11-11T11:12:00.003-05:00

Okay, ladies....you asked for it! Here are a couple of yearbook photos for you. I have to tell you that I feel really silly for posting these on the blog, but I hope you enjoy them!

Urgent Prayer Request

2008-11-10T08:14:00.005-05:00

***Y'all check the comments! God has answered our prayers!!!!!***

I received the following comment from my friend and adoptive mommy, Jill. I want to make sure it is seen, so I'm also posting it here. Please pray for this family, foster family and child!

"Lori, sending out an SOS. our friends are in china and foster family will not bring child in.. PRAY and send out an SOS. Mom's name is Kathy. She is here in US with other kids. Andy (the dad) is in China... "

Thank you! God answers prayer!

Let's Pray Over Our Children

2008-11-08T22:52:00.002-05:00

I'm sure every Christian mother, like I, longs for God to make Himself known to our children in very real and powerful ways as they grow. We all want them to know God's love and His character as well as they know their own parents. In the picture perfect moments, this is an easy, almost romantic task: happy, fulfilled mother has completed all her daily chores and has just emerged from a relaxing bubble bath before sitting at the bedside of her peacefully sleeping little angel to pray over him or her. It's nice when it works, but it doesn't always...or even usually. Angie Smith over at Bring the Rain: The Story of Audrey Caroline has posted a great blog about how God prompted her to pray over her children seven times a day from Scripture. She explains it all and has posted the verses she is using. I am committing to pray this way for my children, and I would encourage all moms to consider it. The button above will take you to the post.

Halloween, Garin-Style

2008-10-31T21:27:00.004-05:00

1. Have no fear.

2. Always remained focused on the goal.

3. Let no one and nothing stand in your way.

4. When you trip and fall, stop, pick up your candy (plus a few leaves) and move on.

5. When you trip and fall, stop, pick up your candy....see #4.

6. See #4 again and again.

7. If they don't answer quickly, check the door yourself.

8. Anyone who opens the door is inviting you for a visit. Feel free to barge right in and check out the living room.

9. When offered the chance to go home, always say, "More house! Tick-a-tick-a teet!"

10. When they do take you home, grab some candy and run! There's more tick-a-tick-a-teeting to do!

See below for examples:

Karl and I dressed up this year too. You'll notice his creepy costume in the video when he answers the door at the last house, which is ours. I was glad when he changed out of it!

NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH

2008-10-31T08:56:00.002-05:00

November is National Adoption Month, and November 15 is National Adoption Day!!! Click here for some great ideas on ways to celebrate and advocate for children who are waiting for their forever families.

2008-10-20T21:22:00.002-05:00

Garin never just says, "please." It always goes like this: "Say? I say pweez! THEEEETHE!" It's so funny, and he is quite sure that it will get him anything. Tonight he didn't want to go to bed, so we heard it several times.

Matt had a fun day! In his Trig class today, the teacher said that she had a couple of her juniors on the Math Team who couldn't make the meet today and asked if any juniors in the class would be interested in filling a space, so the team could compete. Matt volunteered. He had considered trying out for the team but decided his schedule was already full enough with band and cross country. He went to the meet and took 5th place out of 18 people on the individual test, and he received a ribbon. His team took 4th place, but he got every question correct on the team test, and was, therefore, the strongest member of his team. He was so pleased, as is his math-loving mama! He is going to be allowed to compete again in the last meet of the season and will be on the team next year. YAY MATTY!!!

Something for the Grandparents

2008-10-17T07:47:00.002-05:00

I've been negligent in taking and posting photos. I thought the grandparents might need a fix, and Garin REALLY wanted a photo shoot yesterday. He brought the camera to me and said, "CHEEZ!" After each shot, he'd say, "Another one?" This and the previous post have the best photos of the bunch, plus one that Karl took when we got home Tuesday night. Overkill, probably, to post eight photos. Oh well.

Garin Pics

2008-10-17T07:45:00.000-05:00

6 Random Things

2008-10-16T13:14:00.002-05:00

My blogger-friend, Amy, tagged me about two weeks ago, and I'm just now getting around to posting! Sorry, Amy. Life just gets away from me sometimes! I've just returned from spending several days in Illinois and am doing the usual post-vacation catch up. So here are six random things about me and the six people I'm tagging:

1. I have undergone a 180-degree personality change as an adult. As a child and young adult, I was incredibly messy and unconcerned about neatness, and I spent all my time inside with my nose in a book. Now I cannot stand clutter or dirt, and I want everything in its place. And I get cabin fever very quickly...let me outside!

2. I used to be smart. I was a National Merit Scholar and actually qualified for MENSA membership, but I am too lazy to apply (plus it seems like the only real value of joining is to put it on a resume). These days, I can't even seem to remember where I was headed when I walked into the other room.

3. I still haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up.

4. I went to junior high and high school with Matthew McConaughey. (We called him Matt back then!)

5. I always had the best time in my class on the "flexed arm hang," which was one of the requirements for the Presidential Physical Fitness Test in elementary school.

6. I had to take appetite pills before meals as a child because I didn't eat and was underweight and anemic. (Haha! Why can't I undereat now?!)

And, tag, you're it: Jill, Bethany, Nerissa, Kellie, Karen and Tricia. Love you guys!

We're Back in Business!!!

2008-10-07T13:44:00.002-05:00

For those of you who haven't already heard me screaming and squealing with excitement, I am pleased to tell you that we are back on the road to our children! We spoke with our caseworker yesterday and learned that our dossier was accepted by the Adoption Committee. There were, however, three documents that need to be updated before they will issue our invitation to travel. We spent last night and today working on getting them done. The ones Karl and I are responsible are already notarized, and I will have them apostilled tomorrow. There are two documents that our home study agency will update for us, and we should be able to have them completed and apostilled next week. Hopefully everything will be in Russia two weeks from today. Then we will wait for them to be translated and submitted, so that we can get an invitation to go and finally see our kids! God is good!!!

If You're Happy and You Know It...Finally a Performance!

2008-10-05T22:18:00.004-05:00

If You're Happy...Sneakier Take Two

2008-10-05T22:13:00.003-05:00

If You're Happy and You Know It.....Take One

2008-10-05T22:08:00.001-05:00

Hope and Longing

2008-10-05T12:33:00.003-05:00

Emotions are strange things. It's confusing that so many of them can coexist in the same moment, infusing (or perhaps bombarding is a better word) the soul all at once and rendering one completely incapable of processing them in a dignified way.

This morning after set-up and rehearsal but just before worship, I was standing in the hallway talking with my husband and some friends. I glanced up at a family walking toward us, hand-in-hand, all six of them. In that instant, my mind began processing who they were and where they'd been and who that extra little beautiful Asian face was. A precious family in our church went to China three weeks ago to bring home their 10-year-old daughter. And there she was, with her older caucasian sister and two younger Asian sisters, all in a row holding hands. She had short hair, the front pulled back in colorful little barettes, and suddenly all I could see was K.

The joy, hope and love I felt at the sight of her were overwhelming enough, but there was also that heavy, aching longing from the deepest part of me that exploded again like a volcano. At times, I have felt guilty for not being able to fully give myself over to the joy, as if it is somehow sinful to long for something I do not have. After we lost two babies in a row, I felt it every time someone announced a pregnancy or birth. But I do not allow myself that guilt anymore. It is not jealousy or even envy, but simply longing. I quickly buried my head in Karl's chest to gain composure, but composure was nowhere to be found. Sobbing, I said, "I want my babies home!" I walked away to get it together. I did not want that family to feel that they were the source of my pain because they are not. Our friend Sarah, a young wife who does not yet know the joy of children herself, came and found me and prayed with me. Such a blessing. And then I went to the mother of that precious child who just finally came home after 10 years without a family. I shared with her what a blessing it was to see them and what hope it gives us. I know that she probably understands what I was feeling better than anyone.

I found myself wondering during worship if God had given us such encouragement today because we will be getting good news soon and will be able to go see our children or if He gave it to us because He knows we will need it to keep fighting some battle that stands before us. Only He knows, but either way, we will follow Him and hold on tight to the hope that is in Him.

God gave me hope today. He gave me new motivation. He always gives us what we need. I just hope that soon my children will be the hope-givers....

Look What I Did Today!!!

2008-10-04T21:39:00.002-05:00

I had the incredible opportunity to take a flight in a C-5, the jet my husband flies! Our squadron allowed all of the spouses the opportunity to see a small part of what our loved ones do when they have to leave us behind. We had a blast! We behaved like a bunch of 13-year-old girls, laughing and being silly, but we also had very serious and awestricken moments when the reality of our husbands' work really hit us. It is something to watch these guys manage gazillions of buttons, knobs and gauges while manhandling a jet that is almost as long (and almost as wide) as the length of an entire football field and is filled with precious and expensive cargo. They carry anything from armored vehicles and helicopters to a load of porpoises trained to detect underwater mines. And, of course, their most somber duty is to return the remains of fallen soldiers to their families. It is a big job that these guys do, and they often do it for 24 hours at a time.

This was the most amazing moment of the day: watching through the cockpit window as our jet approached a KC-10 for refueling. What you see is the boom from the KC-10, which transfers the fuel into the C-5 once the connection is made. I kept thinking that I should be terrified to be 10 feet away from another jet full of fuel, but I was so enthralled and thrilled by it! I guess, too, that I just trust these guys so much because they are so well trained and focused.

Me (in hot pink, in case you don't know me well enough to pick me out) and the girls in the courier compartment (behind the cockpit).

Here we are in the cargo bay before climbing the ladder to the cockpit.

FINALLY SOME GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!!

2008-09-25T14:27:00.003-05:00

Thank you all for your prayers! We received news today that our documents have been submitted for registration in St. Petersburg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In the next week or two, they will be reviewed by the Adoption Committee, which will either accept and register them or request changes or clarification. Obviously, we are hoping for the former, so we can get over there and see our kids! However, even if we have to redo some things, at least we're moving and our documents are now in Russian hands. Please continue to pray with us, as there is still a long way to go, but we do have something to celebrate today!

Waitin' on a Woman

2008-09-16T16:35:00.002-05:00

This is the sweetest video by Brad Paisley and Andy Griffith! Just saw it this morning on CMT and had to share. YouTube won't let me embed it in the blog, but here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvKgnkIN8C8

Hurry! Hurry!

2008-09-16T13:36:00.005-05:00

I try so hard to be patient and wait for God's timing. I really do. But when family after family who started the adoption process months after we did are traveling to meet kids and getting court dates, I rejoice with them, and then it sinks in again that we are still waiting. And I cry, and I get mad that we can't seem to get moving. I wonder if our agency is the problem, and then I wonder if we are the problem. And then I remember that God will make it happen when He is ready, and I try to calm back down.

I did learn today that one family we've followed since they began the adoption process this spring received their invitation this week to go to Russia and meet their little girl. Not only was I thrilled for them, I was also encouraged that they were registered on Sept. 10th and leave for Russia on Sept. 22nd.....only 12 days!!! PLEASE GOD! PLEASE DO THE SAME FOR US! AND SOON!

In the Swing...

2008-09-15T20:47:00.002-05:00

Seems like lately I get around to updating here about the same time I hit the wall and run out of energy...or at least the will to write. It's not that there isn't anything to share, but I keep procrastinating. Imagine that...ME...procrastinating! (My family will appreciate the humor here.)

I am thankful to be able to report that our family members are accounted for and in good health, even the super-stubborn ones that decided to face down Ike at the shore rather than heading inland. Some of them had minor damage to their homes, schools and/or places of work, but there were no catastrophic losses. None of them have power, and most won't for days or weeks, but they are safe!

We had some friends over Friday night for a hurricane party, something we decided on about mid-afternoon. It turned out amazingly well considering no one had any plans to attend before 4 pm. Thank goodness for Sam's and their frozen appetizers, deli trays, etc.!

Saturday, we met an amazing and very special family that we look forward to getting to know better. Jim and Tonya have one biological son and a son and daughter, special-needs twins, whom they adopted. We all went to Chuck E. Cheese and enjoyed chatting for almost 3 hours while the kids played! They had some great insight into adoption, schools, etc. Sunday morning, they visited our church with us, too.

I've been planning a trip to Illinios in October. I am SOOOO looking forward to catching up with old friends to watching Matt run some cross country.

Garin has been so funny today. There has been a lot of LOUD singing going on, and he wore his dinosaur costume (see here and here) all afternoon, even though it's almost 90 degrees outside. He's a quirky little fellow, and I love that about him!

Things are kicking back into full swing around here, with OSC and squadron functions, bowling and other fun stuff. I'm so thankful to be back into the groove and seeing my friends more often! It's nice to rest now and then, but we need our girlfriends!

Another Evacuation

2008-09-11T17:53:00.002-05:00

Well, folks, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm asking you to pray for the hurricane evacuees again. Late yesterday, when it became clear that Beaumont was not going to escape Hurricane Ike, my brother-in-law evacuated the children's home for the second time in two weeks. In doing so, he had to leave behind his own family: my sister and their three children. Marci decided late last night, when she learned that local officials would be having a 2am meeting to declare a mandatory evacuation today, that she would rather get on the road and get out before traffic got crazy this morning. She and the kids prepared and secured the house and drove to my parents' house. They arrived around 2:30am. Greg and his entourage arrived at Camp Buckner shortly thereafter. My aunt is safely in Northeast Texas in her childhood home, but her husband and children were not able to leave until after work today. They should be on the road now or very shortly, dealing with slow, heavy traffic and long gas lines. Please keep them all in your prayers. Other family members in the Houston area have decided not to heed the evacuation order and have chosen to stay. Although I admittedly question the wisdom of that decision, I also ask you to pray that they will be safe through the storm.

My heart has been particularly touched by the stories I've heard today of families who do not have the financial means to evacuate again, families who spent their small savings evacuating just two weeks ago and have no money to do so again. And there are those who have nowhere to go other than to try to find an open hotel room or shelter. I also pray that God will give them peace, comfort and shelter as Ike approaches.

I Know

2008-09-04T11:59:00.002-05:00

We got some fresh information about our Russian children yesterday. It was encouraging, motivating and hope-building, but we are still waiting...hopefully not too much longer.

Sometimes in the course of moving forward and forgetting what is behind, our style of worship changes. Nothing wrong with that! I worship in ways I never knew I could as a child, thanks to Casting Crowns, Lincoln Brewster, Chris Tomlin, and the list goes on. But sometimes those old hymns from childhood now reach out to me in ways they didn't before. Perhaps it's because they aren't routine to me anymore, and I am actually hearing their messages more clearly. Whatever the reason, today as I was praying about D & K and begging God to bring them home soon, the following hymn came to mind and brought with it a great reassurance and reminder that I don't have to know. I can just trust.

These words were written in 1883 by Daniel Whittle, and they still speak to my soul today:

I know not why God’s wondrous grace
To me He hath made known,
Nor why, unworthy, Christ in love
Redeemed me for His own.

Refrain
But I know Whom I have believèd
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I’ve committed
Unto Him against that day.

I know not how this saving faith
To me He did impart,
Nor how believing in His Word
Wrought peace within my heart.

Refrain

I know not how the Spirit moves,
Convincing us of sin,
Revealing Jesus through the Word,
Creating faith in Him.

Refrain

I know not what of good or ill
May be reserved for me,
Of weary ways or golden days,
Before His face I see.

Refrain

I know not when my Lord may come,
At night or noonday fair,
Nor if I walk the vale with Him,
Or meet Him in the air.

Refrain

Harvey and Lille

2008-08-30T15:43:00.004-05:00

True love!

The original plan was to keep them separated for several days, but they were each so interested in the other, and Miss Lille is not the timid soul we had the impression she would be. She was skittish at first, but she has quite the regal complex and carries herself with a great deal of self-assuredness. She has no fear of Harvey, and although he was not sure what to make of her at first, he is now very antsy to get past the introductions and into some (as Amy commented on a previous blog entry) "frisky" time. We have let them spend short periods of time together the last couple of days, but today they decided that they are ready to be together. Who are we to stand in the way??? She taunts him by prancing by him and then taking off in a leaping run. He obediently follows. They jump around and then flop down, rolling over to show each other their bellies and chins. It's so cute! They both seem to be having fun and show no signs of aggression or fear, so we're just tickled! Here we caught them in a brief rest period between their games.

Hurricane Gustav

2008-08-29T07:16:00.004-05:00

**Update - 30 August**
Greg (maybe I'll start calling him Moses!) is leading his people out of Beaumont ahead of Gustav. He has a caravan of 41 children from Buckner Children's Home, as well as 30+ people who work with those children along with the workers' families. It is a grand total of 132 people heading to Camp Buckner in Marble Falls to wait out the storm. My sister and the kids (and pets of course) are safely at my parents' house. They moved everything they could, especially their most precious things, upstairs in case of flood. Marci emptied the freezer into ice chests and took their food along in case they lose power for awhile. I haven't heard whether my aunts, uncles and cousins are leaving or whether they'll stay with my parents, but Greg said they are beginning mandatory evacuations, so it is possible that they may have no choice before long. The highways are already backed up. I pray that there will be no lives lost during this storm and that people will make the wise decision to get out rather than staying to protect earthly possessions. I also pray that those emergency and hospital personnel who cannot leave will be under His protection.

Let's pray for those who are being affected by Gustav. So many have lost lives and property already in Haiti, as there will likely be in Jamaica. There are now many people here in the U.S. preparing to close up their homes and head north to escape this storm that is forecast to reach as high as Category 5 over the weekend and make landfall somewhere on the Gulf Coast on Tuesday. I have many family members among them, including my sister and her family, aunts, uncles and cousins. My parents are preparing for a house full of family, as they did when Rita hit three years ago. That was a family reunion of sorts, with 15 or so houseguests staying with my parents and my grandparents who live next door! My brother-in-law will be evacuating with the children and faculty at Buckner Children's Home to another location. The senior citizens at Buckner Calder Woods will have to be evacuated as well, and this is difficult for them, as many are in ill health. My cousin who works at a children's hospital needs to care for her own family as well as her patients and is trying to decide the best way to do both.

Here is a note from my brother-in-law which explains well how we can pray specifically for the children in his care, whose lives have already been so disrupted and filled with loss:

I'm fascinated by the preparation for hurricanes. I grew up with tornadoes, so I'm used to frantic dives into the hallway or bathtub. I'm new to the days of uncertainty and stress, waiting for the chance to leave your home to the mercy of a storm that may or may not steamroll your neighborhood.Gustav's path is uncertain, but I'm pretty sure that we'll be evacuated this weekend, from what I'm hearing. I have heard that the state of Texas will begin an airlift evacuation of medically fragile individuals on Saturday morning, and the new 211 system (for people to call who need rides away from the coast) is overrun with calls. No one has said clearly, but I'm almost certain that Jefferson County will call for an evacuation this weekend - my guess is Sunday or Monday.So, I'll wish Marci and the kids goodbye tomorrow evening and they'll go spend the weekend in Longview. I'll stay back in Beaumont in order to evacuate with the 41 kids we have living on the campus of Buckner Children's Village, as well as our staff and a few of their family members.If we evacuate, we'll head towards the Austin area, where Buckner has a camp / retreat center. If not, I'll hold down the fort here to keep an eye on the campus. Please pray for these children, who have experienced enough anxiety already in their lives. They really don't need another 'escape to safety.' They really need stability, and I'm thankful to the employees of Buckner who will go with us and provide just that.Pray also for the senior adults Buckner serves here in Beaumont. They will likely evacuate as well, and they will be divided among other retirement communities and nursing homes across the state.I'll try to post pictures and keep you up to date. If we do evacuate, the computers (among other things) are most certainly coming with me. You can also check for updates at http://www.buckner.org/.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

2008-08-27T21:33:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary, and look what we got! A new Ragdoll!!! She's a one-year-old blue point. The original plan was to breed her, but she never went into heat, so they decided to have her spayed and sell her as a pet. She is the sweetest little thing - lovey, purrs loudly, likes to play. Harvey (our 3-year-old seal point Ragdoll) is a little nervous about her, and vice versa, but neither has been mean, so I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. This photo is a few months old, but I'll try to get some good ones of her tomorrow.

I have been spending most of my spare time this last couple of weeks practicing on the keyboard (as in piano, not computer) to get ready for our Dover worship services to begin this weekend. Our church is starting a southern campus ("one church, many locations"), and I am going to be playing keyboards for the worship team. I've probably mentioned this before, but I'm nervous. God keeps reminding me that He equips those whom He calls and that all He requires of me is my best. I am struggling to remember that when I start my perfectionist obsession about not being good enough!

We had a commissioning service tonight. It was a wonderful time of worship and preparation, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Even after driving to Lancaster, PA, and back all day to pick up our cat, it was well worth the long drive to church tonight.

A Little Diversion...

2008-08-20T13:47:00.003-05:00

As you can see, I've been having fun with worthless but fun celebrity comparisons today. The website scans your photo and spits out a list of people it thinks you look like. Let me tell you, it depends on the photo you choose! I was so unhappy with my first one (Wynona Judd and Hillary Clinton, among others!!!) that I started over with a new photo and got much more pleasant results.

Karl's Look-Alikes

2008-08-20T13:42:00.002-05:00

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Family tree research - Family history

I WISH!!!

2008-08-20T13:26:00.002-05:00

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

I could not love my husband more...

2008-08-19T22:55:00.004-05:00

....than I do in moments like these:

If Sesame Street ever needs to replace the fellow who does Elmo's voice, I know just the guy!

(Please pardon the playroom disaster area!)

Prayers Please

2008-08-19T22:28:00.002-05:00

Please keep my cousin, Lisa, in your prayers tomorrow. She will be undergoing a biopsy of her thyroid. The doctors found three lumps on her thyroid and want to check them to be sure they are benign. I'll be sure to update when I hear a report, but please lift her and her family up in prayer. Thanks!

"In God We Trust"

2008-08-19T09:12:00.001-05:00

Here's your chance to let the media know where the people stand on our faith in God, as a nation. NBC is taking a poll on "In God We Trust" to stay on our American currency. Please do it right away, before NBC takes this off the web page. Poll is still open so you can vote.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10103521/

Potpourri

2008-08-18T14:16:00.002-05:00

It seems like I have been so busy for the last week or two. I have a bunch of video and photos that I want to post here, but I haven't had the time yet. Be prepared for an onslaught when they do come! Hopefully soon...

Karl was home for 6 days out of the past month, flying missions around the world. It looks like (fingers crossed) he will be home for awhile now. He's getting ready to start a new desk job, and there is often a learning period involved. We're supposed to find out today what that job will be. So exciting! I often want to complain about it here when he's gone, but I'm not comfortable announcing to the world when we are home alone. I could go private with the blog, but I don't want to make people ask for permission to read it. It's probably for the best, anyway, as this way you don't have to listen to me whine.

Since we have dwindled back down to the three of us, we are trying to settle into regular life again. With the exception of brief respites to check my Facebook account, I shamelessly admit that my free time has largely been spent on the sofa, watching Team U.S.A. in the Olympics. We, like the rest of America, have Michael Mania. I am in (sisterly) love with Dara Torres. I enjoyed the gymnastics too. But beach volleyball (followed closely by indoor volleyball) has me by the horns. We can't get enough in this volleyball-obsessed family!

We realized last night that Garin has watched far too many volleyball games in his lifetime, whether they be Daddy's intramurals or the pros on TV. The moment he saw the game, he assumed "the stance" - the hunched-over, readied position the players take prior to the serve. (Video coming someday) And he continued to do so with each serve. During the volleys, he ran around the living room as if he were chasing down the ball. And when the whistle blew, he'd stop, clap his hands and shout, "C'mon guys!" in his loudest coach voice. When the play was clearly bad, he'd pace back and forth in the living room, shaking his head! Once, when a player dove for the ball, he bent over as if he were going to touch his toes and then, in a flash, he was down - hands outstretched in front of himself, flat on his belly to reach the imaginary ball coming to him! It was precious!

Matt started school today. He has an ambitious schedule for this junior year of high school: Biology I, Trigonometry/Pre-Calculus, Band, College Chemistry, Spanish 3, Consumer Ed/Gov't and English 3. He is already knee-deep in Cross Country, and his knee is bothering him again this year. We are praying that he will stay healthy, work hard and excel in all of his endeavors this year!

Other than doing the usual fun Mom jobs, I have somehow found myself preparing to play keyboard for our church's new southern campus that we are starting here in Dover on September 7th! I guess all those years of piano lessons are going to be put to use, finally! I am terrified and thrilled about it all at the same time. I always enjoyed playing, but my only public performances consisted of two-a-year recitals, playing songs I had been practicing for months and had down so well that no thought was required when I took my seat, and still I was a nervous wreck.

I offered to play if they didn't have anyone else, simply because I knew we would need someone. It is one of those still-small-voice promptings where you say, "Okay God, I'll just offer because You told me to, but I KNOW that You know that there is no way You really want me for this job, and You're just testing me to see if I'll obey, so I will. But I KNOW You'll find someone better equipped because You want to be glorified in worship, and I'm not used to playing from chord charts, and I couldn't possibly be good enough." It was one of those things where I expected to be like Abraham and have the sacrificial goat walk up at the last minute, so I didn't have to follow through. Instead, I am like Moses, whom God equipped for the task in spite of his shortcomings. Interestingly, I like being Moses instead of Abraham. This is new territory for me, and I'm excited to see how God will use it to His glory (but I'm still scared to death!).

Well, back to the other kind of keyboard for some practice....

TAG!

2008-08-13T12:22:00.002-05:00

I've been tagged! I know I shouldn't be so excited about it, but I've been watching bloggers tag each other for months, even years, now, and somehow it never happened to me. At first, I was thankful I didn't have to take the time to complete the task of passing it along, but then I started wondering what made me so "untaggable." (Not that I cared of course, because I am completely secure and never, ever worry about what others think of me!)

Anyway, Jill tagged me with this fun little book tag. I was just hoping that the Lord would share some huge, significant nugget with the world when I opened the book beside me.....not so much. But here it is:

BOOK TAG

Get the book nearest to you, or one that you are currently reading that is over 123 pages.

Go to page 123.

Find the 5th sentence.

Post the 5th sentence.

Tag 5 people.

My nearest book was Birthright: Christian Do You Know Who You Are? Something profound should come out of that, right?

So here is the sentence: "Why?"

Yep, that's it. One word. A pretty profound word, I suppose. The chapter is titled, "God's Expectations for His Miracle Children." The paragraph is talking about Romans 7:14-25. The author was asking why we should anticipate total failure in our attempts to overcome sin. He follows by explaining that in the flesh, we will fail; however, in Christ, we are not in the flesh anymore.

Now it's your turn! I'm tagging Amy, Nerissa, Karen, Kellie and Bethany. Have fun!

Checking In

2008-08-11T20:37:00.003-05:00

Hello, dear friends and family! I have been sorely negligent in updating the blog this past week. Instead, I have allowed myself to be completely immersed in the joy of time with my family. We had an amazing week with my sister, her husband and their three kids! We have been all over the place and still managed to share a couple of lazy days together. We sat on the deck in the cool, early morning hours, leisurely sipping coffee and catching up before breakfast, and we fought our way onto the subways of NYC during rush hour. I'm telling you, we really lived this week!

Now we are tired. And the week of indulgence has left me with an extra-long to-do list now. Not that I'm complaining! I have video to edit, so that I can share it here, and there are photos to post. But first, I have to get some songs together, so I can play keyboard at praise team rehearsal on Thursday (yikes!). I need to catch up on some laundry. I need to vacuum and dust and clean bathrooms. And, most importantly, I need to give an extra dose of attention to a toddler who doesn't yet understand the comings and goings of people he loves and cannot process it except through periodic meltdowns and tantrums.

So rest assured, I have not forgotten you. It may take a few days, but I'll get back to updating regularly in the near future. In the meantime, pour a cup of coffee and go sit on the back porch for a while. I highly recommend it!

Wii Like to Exercise Together!

2008-08-04T10:40:00.003-05:00

Eli and Garin are getting Wii Fit together. There has been some competition for the board, so Uncle Greg created a new board for Garin - a Guinness Book of World Records. The boys have been getting into shape together, and it is so cute!

We're having a great time relaxing and laughing together today and are looking forward to the beach this afternoon, but we sure do miss Karl. We pray he will be home soon!!!

Remember me???

2008-08-03T19:20:00.002-05:00

Hi stranger! It's been a while, I know. Life's been busy!

Last Wednesday, I had to put my Matthew on a plane back to Illinois to get ready for a new school year. Heartbreaking. But before he left, we had a couple more wonderful days together. We wrapped up some loose ends and then spent an afternoon and evening at the beach, just the three of us, playing, laughing and enjoying a gorgeous day. The goodbyes were so hard for all of us, but most of all for Garin. He doesn't quite understand why his Bubby must leave or that he will be back (do any of us really understand???). We said our goodbyes at security, but as Matt walked away, Garin fought to get out of my arms and tried to follow him, crying, "NOOO!" I scooped him up and tried to comfort him, and he began screaming, "Bubby, my Bubby!" It was horrible. Since then, he's been afraid to get out of my sight. Karl has been on a mission that has delayed him at every turn, and he has been gone for two weeks now. Missions are always hard on Garin, but with his Bubby leaving too, he has been struggling emotionally in a way I've never seen from him. Anything can bring a complete breakdown. My heart aches for him, and I pray that Karl will be home soon. I think this will make a huge difference for Garin. If you feel led to pray along those lines too, we'd appreciate it.

I spent Thursday cleaning house and washing all the sheets because....drum roll, please....my sister and her family arrived Friday morning for a whole week of family fun!!!!!!!! Marci, Greg, Sandra, Eli and Emma have now been here for two full days. We have really been enjoying some time together, and I am so thankful that they are here. (Marci asked me last night if I have blogged about how wonderful it is to have my precious sister and her family here and feigned to take offense that I haven't bragged on them yet. Marci, this is for you!) We have day trips planned to the beach, NYC, and DC (along with a few restful days). We should all be thoroughly exhausted, sunburned and cultured by week's end!

More Delays...

2008-07-28T10:49:00.004-05:00

I spoke to our caseworker this morning and learned that our agency is having some issues getting cases registered for children who were hosted. They attempted registering two cases at the end of June, and they waited a long time for a response. The MOE has requested additional documents for those families before they can be registered and considered. This isn't great news. However, the fact that we follow them isn't a bad thing because our agency will know better what additional documentation will be necessary in our case, and hopefully we won't have to wait as long once our documents are submitted.

Please pray over this process...for all the waiting children in Russia and for the officials who are making decisions regarding their lives.

Please pray for our agency and specifically for our caseworker, Rebecca. She shared with me today that their agency is "streamlining." The economy is affecting even adoption agencies. The caseworkers are dealing with the same workload, but their hours have been cut in half. This makes for a stressful work environment and unhappy clients across the board. We pray that God will give them the energy to accomplish what must be done and will protect their hearts from bitterness, discouragement and disillusionment. We pray that they will continue to see great rewards in what they are doing.

Please pray also for patience in the waiting and protection from doubt and discouragement. We know that God brought us down this path with a purpose. His hand has been evident in miraculous ways throughout. We know that He has turned our hearts to these children, and we are committed to follow Him. If these are our kids, He will make it happen. If not, He is preparing us for something else in the future. I am at peace with this, but I still really want to bring these kids home!

"...as you love yourself."

2008-07-27T21:51:00.002-05:00

***This blog did not go where I intended when I started. I thought it was going to be a run-down of our weekend activities. Funny how, when God starts talking, you find yourself on a road that wasn't even on the map. And when He says, "Okay, that's all for now," that road feels as familiar as the path that leads home.

So what happens when you find a great 75%-off sale on outdoor furniture and buy that dining set of your dreams that you've waited years to buy???

Why, it falls off the truck in the middle of the highway, of course! Narrowly missing the long line of cars behind you, the two huge boxes block two lanes of traffic, while you, in your grungy, scrubbing-all-day t-shirt, shorts and rubber flip-flops, frantically run into the busy street trying to drag them out of the way for the temporarily patient drivers who are waiting.

Now, change every "you" in the above paragraphs to "I," and you have a brief synopsis of my horrifying afternoon yesterday! The five minutes that felt like five hours.

But let's look at the bright side: Somehow (miraculously), it didn't hit the cars behind me. Somehow, it survived with very minor damage. Somehow, I got it loaded back in the truck and made it home. And somehow (this is a biggie), I came out of it NOT feeling like an idiot who had made a fool of herself and feeling more like someone who'd had a bit of unfortunate trouble, resolved her problem without tears or complete panic, and managed to move along with her day without beating herself up and being embarrassed all weekend. Did I mention that this is a biggie? Could it be that perhaps it is sinking in? Maybe I'm really starting to get it as God continues to impress upon me that He doesn't see me the way I see myself, as He's teaching me to love myself as I love others.

I realize that I have this backwards. In Matthew 19:19, Jesus tells us to love others as we love ourselves. It's a good lesson on valuing other people. But for me, He has been turning it around lately, showing me that I have to give myself a break now and then. I've found it easy to love others in this life, but I cannot love others well if I cannot love myself well. This is not a license for self-indulgence or selfishness, nor is it about "self-esteem." This is about "God-esteem," about seeing myself as a valuable, beautiful creation of God, created in His image. It is freedom from the struggle to measure up to the expectations of others. It is freedom to be who God has called me to be without apology. It is the freedom to be comfortable in my own skin, the skin He Himself wrapped around my flesh...freckles and all, it is His artwork. It is the ability to accept His forgiveness and step away from my failures rather than tossing them into that burdensome sack I so often try to carry along with me.

I believe that many of us need to reverse the verse, so to speak. We tend to think of sinful selfishness as the result of an over-inflated ego, a sense of entitlement or an attitude of superiority. But when Satan succeeds at making us feel unattractive, unworthy, somehow less than we really are, we also succumb to selfishness of another kind. We take valuable time, talent, energy, money, __________ (Fill in your own blank here; the list could be endless.) that belongs to God. Instead we waste it worrying what others think of us, constantly striving to improve our appearances, trying to figure out what makes a person a "success" in this world and struggling to fit that image. It may be about appearance. It might be career or finances. It might be personality-type or social prowess. For some (myself included), it is often a crazy combination. Imagine allowing Christ to free us of all of those image issues! Imagine the joy of living the lives God created us to live and embracing the fact that it would look different for each of us! Imagine what we could really do for Him and for others if we cast off the selfishness of self-loathing and saw ourselves through the eyes of the One Who created us in His image!

And, perhaps a more exciting prospect for me: Imagine leaving a legacy of a God-image in our children! If my children hear me complain about my appearance, or even if I silently live a life of shame and dissatisfaction, they will learn what I model. It breaks my heart to think of passing such a burden to my children. I am choosing to allow my Heavenly Father to take my poor self-image and replace it with His God-image. It may not happen overnight, but it's a journey well worth taking, and it's a journey that will hopefully allow me to leave some substantial footprints....the footprints of Jesus...when I go Home.

His Royal Highness....

2008-07-27T14:24:00.007-05:00

What do three bored fellas do during a Sunday afternoon thunderstorm???

They get out the Toobers and Zots, crown themselves kings, declare themselves knights, pretend to be dragon-cat, head to the opera and have a blast until the king's naptime!

"I crown thee King Garin."

Sir Matthew taking on the dragon.

His Majesty

Now off to the opera....

Mom is just enjoying the thunder and the pleasure of a lazy Sunday afternoon with almost all of her boys. We're hoping Daddy gets home from his mission soon!

HOPE FLOATS

2008-07-23T23:05:00.003-05:00

I'm not a fan of living in the past. I tend to think it's better to leave it there, with the exception of some very special and meaningful moments. But sometimes it's good to take a trip back and remember where you've been and realize how far you've come. Ten years ago this month, I suddenly found myself starting over in a new life I didn't recognize. My marriage was ending...it was all over but the paperwork. Matt was at his dad's house, and I was spending a lonely Sunday afternoon by myself for the first time in years. How did I cope? I went to the movies alone, another first for me, and saw "Hope Floats."

Early in the movie, Birdee Calvert headed home to Texas from Illinois (I am a Texas girl who was living in Illinois at the time.), and as she crossed the Texas state line and drove past pine trees and longhorn cattle, my tears and longing took over. It was a perfect movie for me that day, and I discovered the pleasure of sobbing in front of the big screen with only a soda and popcorn and to learn that I enjoyed being in a theatre by myself.

The movie ended with these words: "That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will... "

And suddenly I felt like there was a future out there for me. I forgot that moment innumerable times before the future found me, but there were many reminders along the way. Tonight, as Matt and I watched "Hope Floats" again, many of those old emotions resurfaced as I recalled how I'd felt that day, but the reality of how much my life has changed and how God has blessed me in these last ten years is truly overwhelming. If ever God's grace, mercy and provision is evident, it is in these last ten years of my life. For that I am incredibly thankful.

This has been a day of laughter. From this morning, when Garin in his jammies and Matt in his boxers were dancing in the playroom while playing cymbals and maracas (how I wish I'd had the camera handy) to this afternoon, when they were playing a new version of "Where'd he go?" that looked like an old movie. Do you remember the scenes where people are going in and out of the same room(s) and barely missing each other, each unaware that the other is there? Well, check out the video below, and you'll see what I mean.

Christian the Lion

2008-07-21T10:53:00.001-05:00

If you haven't seen this before, get some Kleenex. THIS is why I love animals!

Adoption Talk and Potty (Non-) Training

2008-07-19T10:06:00.005-05:00

I didn't get a response or the promised call from our caseworker this week (collective gasp or sigh would be appropriate here, except that we've all come to expect this, haven't we?). I did hear from our home study caseworker, however, who had been told that our dossier would not be registered in Russia this month after all. The St. Petersburg Adoption Committee is relocating offices, thus the delay. It was good to know. We have no doubt that the agency is working on our behalf; however, our caseworker's lack of communication is a real problem. As of today, we have not heard from her in 18 days, and as far as she knows, we still believe we are being registered, but she didn't bother to contact me this week as promised. If we thought she didn't care about our case, we would ask for a new caseworker, but she is very familiar with us and seems to really want to bring our kids home. So we continue to wait for calls that don't come and emails that aren't answered.

In happier news, our home study caseworker is expecting twins soon!!! We haven't seen her since we completed our home study last year...yes, last year, ugh...and were quite surprised by the news. We are so excited for her, as they had struggled with infertility issues and miscarriages too and were about ready to give up on more bio kids. Guess I need to get to work on a couple of quilts! And that leads me to wonder when I will ever get to make a pink quilt. Our friends and family keep having boys! But who am I to talk??? I am the only estrogen producer in this house, at least until K arrives.

Yesterday was an interesting one with Garin. At two and a half, we realize that potty training is looming on the horizon. He loves to go in the bathroom with us and "help" by supervising, unrolling and tearing off toilet paper, flushing and waving bye-bye to whatever we've deposited in there. He is just beginning to understand the process, but he has not showed much interest in sitting there himself. He seems to feel it is just wasting his time to sit anywhere, much less there.

So lately Garin has been removing his diapers at naptime and in the mornings before we come get him from his room. Then suddenly yesterday he took his diaper off five different times and kept running around bare-bottomed. I couldn't keep it on him, so we started thinking it was potty-training time. Big mistake. Garin's idea of potty training is picking something interesting and then aiming at it. He went in corners, on the carpet and even hosed down his bowling pins! Matt and I had a long, hearty laugh over that one!!! We got some pull-ups and are hoping they'll stay on better until he is willing to put a little effort into potty training! Matt trained later and in about a week, so this is quite new to me. And the fact that it's been fourteen years since then doesn't help either! Any suggestions are appreciated; I am acutely aware that it won't be long now.

Matt, Karl and I relaxed last night (after Garin's bedtime) with Haagen-Dazs, Ben & Jerry's and Shrek 3. 'Twas a lovely, relaxing evening! Next week, we'll get the awesome sitter (see previous blog entry) if she's available, and Matt and I are going to spend a day, just the two of us, at the outlet malls and the beach.

It looks like Karl's schedule is about to go crazy. He is scheduled for a mission this week, and this week is also the big inspection for which he's been in charge of preparation since he got home from his deployment last fall. Following the inspection, he'll be due for a new desk job. He has some ideas about what that will be, but nothing is decided yet. We'll let you know when he gets a new title. He's also scheduled for Instructor Pilot training this fall. He was an instructor before but has to requalify since he's flying a different jet now. Also, some have been asking about his promotion. After looking at the monthly promotion increments for his promotion group, we are fairly certain he'll pin on Major in January.

We're headed out in a few minutes to grab a meal out (woohoo!) and go play at the park for awhile. I've been shackled to the stove the last few days, so it will be nice to eat out! ;o) And believe it or not, there are no picnics, no VBS kick-off, no responsibilities this weekend other than family, so we intend to enjoy being together.

My blog friend, Amy, and her hubby are headed to Russia today to meet "Boo" and "Hoo", their third and fourth children (all from Russia). Keep them in your prayers!

Also, my AF friend (the one who is adopting #4 from China right now) has asked for prayer for her father, who is having a triple bypass on Tuesday.

Thanks for being such faithful prayer warriors!!!

Have a great weekend!

Get a Load of This!

2008-07-17T19:48:00.003-05:00

Garin decided this evening that he can step right off the couch. The amazing thing about it is that he actually can! I had to put the brakes on his standing on the arm of the couch, though. He seemed to think that was perfectly safe too.

(The black blob of fur on the back of the couch is Matt's old Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde wig from several Halloweens ago. Seems Garin has found yet another Halloween costume he loves to play with.)

Baby's First Sushi

2008-07-17T13:13:00.002-05:00

There is a great little sushi kiosk at the base commissary where they do made-do-order fresh sushi. In this family of sushi lovers, Garin was bound to want in on the action eventually. Although he had a burger, he wanted ours. Fortunately, I had cream cheese roll today, which has imitation crab and no raw fish, so I was able to share. HE LOVED IT! He ate it all, even the seaweed and cucumber. So proud of my healthy little man!

Spiritual Moments

2008-07-17T08:34:00.003-05:00

Good morning, All! It's been a great (and busy) couple of days for us. Tuesday night turned out to be all we had hoped and more! The babysitter my friend recommended was AMAZING. She is so sweet with Garin. She is a lovely Christian young woman. AND she not only cleaned up after herself, but she loaded their dinner dishes into the almost-full dishwasher, ran the cycle and put away the dishes!!! Oh, she'll DEFINITELY be back!!!!! I haven't had a tidy babysitter in a long time....

But on to our evening...We had no major traffic issues and got to the theatre at 6:30, so we picked up our will-call tickets early (smart move, as the line was out the door later) and walked a couple of blocks looking for a restaurant. We happened upon a neat little place called the Marathon Grill. It had a loft atmosphere, very chic, but it was very reasonable. They had a phenomenal (no exaggeration) menu, and we had a delicious dinner before heading back to the theatre. We had great seats for the show, but after seeing the layout, I'm not sure there are any truly bad seats in the building. The show was wonderful! I never cease to be amazed at how well the writer expresses the power and beauty of God's grace and mercy for those who will accept it and the peril for those who insist on living under the weight of the Law! All of the actors were good. I wasn't terribly impressed by Fontine (but how could I be after seeing Lea Salonga in the role?!) and Javert, but they weren't bad. Jean Valjean was excellent. Only one disappoint there: he didn't sing "Bring Him Home" as powerfully as I'd have liked. But Cosette was wonderful, and Eponine was incredible. It was a very, very good performance, and I'd highly recommend it to anyone!

Yesterday, we were all tired, so there wasn't much going on except for my voice lesson. We did grill some brats and corn, warm some sauerkraut and have a delicious dinner before going to church. It was the last gathering of our Southern Campus Launch Team before we begin worship at the Dover Sheraton on September 7th. As it turned out, it wasn't a meeting at all, but a very moving individual experience with God that had been set up in the sanctuary. A large shape of the cross was taped on the floor, with a pathway taped around it. Along the walkway around the cross, there were interactive stations where we were to stop and spend intentional time listening to God. We were guided by instructions at each station. One by one, we entered and were greeted and instructed. At the first station, we heard the Scripture about the Moses and the burning bush. The other stations were these:

Noise (eliminating life's noise to hear God's voice)

Worry (we were provided with a stone to 'hold' our worries, which we cast into a pool of water)

Hurts (we were to draw or write about how we had been hurt and how we had hurt others and then throw them away)

Image (we had to sit before a mirror and read the verses about being created in God's image and being fearfully and wonderfully made and then look at ourselves with the intention of seeing what God sees rather than our flaws) -This was hard for me. I realized that when I think of these verses, I think of my children (or other people). It is very easy to see the God in others, not so easy in me. I began to think of my children and how I see them with such love that I don't see their mistakes or their sinful nature when I look at them. And then I realized that, as God's child, I am seen with an even greater love through His eyes.

Others (we had a chance to think about our relationships and to light a candle and pray for them) - This was very moving for me also.

Impression (we sat before a box of sand and made an impression of our hand, while thinking about the impression that we will leave on this world when we're gone and what kind of impression we want that to be) -Interestingly, for me, I didn't like the impression my hand made. I looked at it for a minute or two and thought about how I also don't like part of the impression I have left on this world. Then the Holy Spirit gently reminded me that because of what Jesus did for me at the cross, I am not bound by past mistakes or sins and that I don't have the right to carry them with me after He has forgiven me. So I bent over, smoothed the sand and made a new handprint. I liked it better....and I like ME better.

Holy Place was a station at the center of the cross where the communion table was set for us to share with Him. It was a place to read His word, talk with Him and share in his last supper.

Finally, we left with some verses about peace. I believe it was from John (maybe?) Sadly, I don't remember exactly. My thoughts were still on earlier stations. It was a special night.

Productivity...

2008-07-15T09:33:00.005-05:00

Basically, what you see here are the most exciting moments of our day yesterday. I know, it's sad, but it was quite wonderful to be homebodies all day. I did manage to get four loads of laundry done, at least. We had chicken enchiladas and fruit salad for supper and then had a late night of Wii Sports (which is what kept me from posting this video last night). At some point after midnight, the three big kids (Karl, Matt and me) began brainstorming about what to do today. When we finally went to bed after 1:00 am, we were the proud owners of three tickets in the orchestra section of Walnut Street Theatre in Philadelphia (the oldest theatre in the U.S.!) for tonight's performance of Les Miserables!!!!! They were purchased in faith that we would be able to get an experienced babysitter this morning (I want someone with maturity when I will be that far from home.), and thankfully we did: a sweet girl who is home from college for the summer and comes highly recommended by another Air Force family. I was surprised when I mentioned the idea that Matt was very enthusiastic about it, as was Karl. I saw it on Broadway last year, but neither of them has seen it live before. I hope it will meet their expectations. I am guaranteed at least four good cries (maybe more if I'm particularly emotional tonight), so I will tote some Kleenex with me. I feel quite certain that my hubby may need them too.....

Not a Word

2008-07-14T16:04:00.004-05:00

It is our assumption that there was no progress with the adoption today, as it is now after business hours, and we still have no word from our agency. We had dared to hope (only a wee bit) that maybe they would be registering our dossier today, but I would imagine that we would have been notified today if that had, in fact, actually happened.

I have spent much of the day with D & K in my thoughts and have dedicated a great deal of time to prayer on their behalf. We are not upset, just eager for some good news. We have learned in the last 15 months that there is no point in getting excited about any sort of schedule or timeline that we are told "might be." But I do feel almost guilty each time I have to report bad news or no news when I know that so many of you are on this emotional roller coaster with us and are also praying. We must always keep in mind that, as hard as it is to understand and although we cannot now see it, God has a purpose in the waiting. Like so many things in life, we will look back someday and be amazed by the intricate perfection of it all and give thanks that He worked it out just as He did. We wait on Him with Hope!

I have some funny video (yes, moooore video) from this afternoon that I will post after Garin goes to bed tonight!

2008-07-13T20:20:00.003-05:00

Here's a little video of our church picnic this afternoon. Garin was sound asleep in my lap, hugging his ball. He had all he could take at that point. He did rally later, though, and spend some time in the bouncy castle. We have such a great church family, and we really enjoyed the afternoon, but we were certainly tired when we got home.

Note to self-respecting women everywhere: If you ever wear an above-the-knee-length housedress (let's face it - never a great idea anyway), under no circumstances should you plop down in an adirondack chair on the front lawn, facing traffic, and wave your legs open and shut in order to "fan" your nether regions! This should be a no-brainer, but we got quite a show today in downtown Camden on our way home from dropping Evan off, and it was NOT pretty.

Belated Sweet (?) Sixteen

2008-07-13T20:07:00.003-05:00

Saturday was set aside as Matt's pretend birthday, since he wasn't here for the real one last month. I made omelets at his request, and I am pleased to say that they met with huge compliments from my "birthday boy," which thrilled my soul. In the afternoon, we went bowling, the boys spent a few minutes in the play area at the lanes, and then we went out for some fresh seafood...YUM! When we got home, we enjoyed in ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins. Here are some highlights. I think Garin has watched us play Wii bowling too much, as evidenced by the way he raises his arms and says "yesss!" every time he rolls the ball.

My apologies for the cleavage shots. This is what happens when my husband mans the camera. ;0)

Beach Boys

2008-07-13T19:48:00.005-05:00

Matt, Evan, Garin and I had a great time at the beach Friday. The weather was perfect, and the breeze off the ocean felt nice. As you can see, the boys had a great time digging, boogie boarding (not very successfully, as the waves were breaking too close to shore), doing cartwheels (of all things) while Garin did somersaults, and playing with a huge piece of wood that washed up. Garin also engaged in his favorite beach activity, eating sand.

Step Back, Jonas Brothers...

2008-07-10T13:28:00.006-05:00

....There's a new band in town!

This was the scene in our living room this afternoon. Matt set up for some Rock Band on the Wii, and Garin HAD TO join in! As you can see in the video, the G-man is the lead singer and (left-handed) acoustic guitar. Big Bro backs him up on drums. Don't miss Garin's vocals mid-way through and his rapid-fire bowing after the song!

For some reason, Garin has insisted on playing his guitar left-handed since he got it on Christmas morning. We've tried to help him turn it around, but he doesn't like it. I guess it's just more comfortable this way. At this point, it's a no-brainer as to whether or not he'll play guitar when he's older. The only question is "Will he keep playing as a leftie?"

Matt felt that my filming was a major distraction, but he got his best score yet on that song. He's just going to have to get used to having an audience.

We've had a good week. Everything revolves around Vacation Bible School, but tonight is the last night. Because church is so far from home, meaning we have to leave about 5:00 to pick up Evan and get there, our normal schedule is topsy-turvy. We eat dinner at 4:30 and rush off, leaving Garin and Daddy here. Matt's getting lots of great driving practice! I've greatly enjoyed the VBS kids (and workers), and I'm so glad we did this, but I am ready for an evening at home with the family. Fortunately, Karl is taking a few days off next week, so we can just have some fun time together. Friday, I am making dinner for some friends who just had twin boys (their first, God bless 'em), and we are going to the home of some church friends for a small, casual dinner gathering tomorrow night. Saturday is Matt's alternate birthday. Since he was in IL on his special day, we let him pick his official birthday date for celebrating. We'll let him pick our daytime activities (still pending), and he wants to go to Medding's, an INCREDIBLE little fresh seafood restaurant on the way to the beach, followed by cake, of course! Sunday is our church picnic, which we're also looking forward to.

No news on the adoption front yet. I don't expect, in this case, that no news is good news, but let's not lose hope! I'll let you all know as soon as we hear anything. Keep praying!

I AM HAPPY

2008-07-07T21:47:00.003-05:00

I just wanted to put that out there. I love standing at the back of the worship center during Vacation Bible School watching a roomful of children sing and dance for Jesus! I love spending time with friends, new and old, and feeling like they actually enjoy my company and are happy I'm there. I love when I take the time to look for the good in people even though it's much easier sometimes to find something not to like. I love when my husband comes home for lunch just to be with us, and I love it when he can't come home for lunch and calls three times because he misses that time with us. I love when my little one runs into my arms first thing in the morning like I'm the most wonderful sight he's ever laid eyes on, in spite of my crazy hair and the new zit shining on my forehead. I love sitting in the passenger seat, trying to act cool and unruffled, while my son chauffeurs me around town. I love when his friend gets out of the car, and he reaches over to quickly grab my hand and whisper, "I love you, Mom."

Maybe everything isn't perfect, and maybe I'm still waiting for some pretty big prayers to be answered, but life is good!

Rippin' Rocket Roller Coaster

2008-07-06T15:47:00.002-05:00

Well, after five years (of partial construction followed by deconstruction necessitated by a move) and endless hours of labor, the Rippin' Rocket Roller Coaster finally reached completion!

We had a great morning at church! Matt's childhood friend, Evan, went with us. In one of those crazy, it's-a-small-world turn of events, Evan (whom we knew in Illinois as a kindergartner) had grandparents here in Dover, and he's here visiting them for a couple of weeks. We're enjoying some time with him while he's here, and he and Matt are enjoying it. This week is Vacation Bible School at our church, and both boys are helping with recreation. It will be so much fun!

We stopped for lunch after church, and as soon as we got home, Karl and Matt retreated to the basement while I (once again) folded laundry and tried to organize Matt's room a tad, as it's already getting out of control.

Below is a video of the fruits of their labor. Pretty cool, if you ask me!

P.S.

2008-07-05T21:18:00.002-05:00

I just logged onto Facebook and saw that my 16-year-old son ranked me as bravest and most trustworthy in comparison to his other Facebook friends.

High praise, folks.....humbling.....incredibly moving.....really something....*sniff*

Come to think of it, I don't mind being invisible sometimes after all. I am loved (and trusted!), and that is more than enough for this mom.

HUGE Scientific Discovery!!!

2008-07-05T20:43:00.002-05:00

I think I could be rich...famous..find my own place in the history books! If only someone would listen......

For all of you who would like to be a superhero, I know the secret of invisibility! It is quite simple really. I have discovered today that, in the absence of "The Big T" (as my cousin calls it), a person becomes immediately invisible. Not only that, people can no longer hear them at all. It is the secret to being the proverbial fly-on-the-wall. That's right, folks, testosterone is the key. If you don't have it, you can do anything or say anything you want, and (assuming you're the only estrogen-producing homosapien in the room) no one is the wiser.

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I went to the basement to spend some time with my "big T"-laden spouse and offspring while they put together a K-nex roller coaster set that has spent most of the last five years in a box. I managed to have an entire conversation with myself, fold all the laundry and disappear to the computer without being detected. Amazing, isn't it?!?!

I'm sure I could get rich from this discovery.....if only someone would listen....

Jungle Gym

2008-07-03T18:19:00.003-05:00

In all honesty, this video stuff is probably boring to most of you, but to far-away grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, it is a lifeline to the grandkids. Hopefully, all of our other friends won't disappear if I post a few too many of these in the coming days/weeks!

Garin loves climbing on his big brother, and Matt seems to thoroughly enjoy it as well. This was the tail end of a long session of "weightlifting" for Matt.

We are getting excited about the 4th of July!!! Some old friends contacted us today to say that they'll be in town for a visit, and we were already planning a barbecue on the patio, which we'll be happy to enjoy with them. I'm boiling ribs now, so they'll be ready for the grill. We're also planning to hit the firework show in town before spending the evening hanging out beside our firepit....at least that's the plan. You know how plans are!

Mama Was Spying....

2008-07-02T18:04:00.003-05:00

Monkey see....monkey do.....

(My apologies for the poor quality and lack of editing. Just wanted to get it on here before dinner.)

Prayers Needed

2008-07-02T12:00:00.002-05:00

Our friends who are adopting from China need prayers. Please see their blog today for details. So many of you have been faithful to lift us up in prayer, and we have seen God move mountains that have stood in our path. Jill and Bob need a mountain moved, and I covet your prayers for them as well. All glory to the Father.....

Lori

Make sure your seatback is in the full upright position.....

2008-07-02T11:40:00.004-05:00

For those of you who know Matt's history of making his scheduled flights and knew to be very, very nervous about whether he would actually make it to the airport on time today: I am proud to report that he is currently at his gate in St. Louis, waiting to board the plane to bring him back to Philly! His dad dropped him in the terminal rather than walking him to the gate (which is an oddly comforting thing for me....again, if you know us, you know why), and he is on his way.

We are all so eager to have Matt in our arms again in just under three hours!!!

Garin and I spent the morning at the water park with friends until Garin decided that he wanted to be on the grown-up water slide. "No" wouldn't do for an answer, so I resorted to "You may play here or slide there. If you go back to the big pool, we are going home." He just wanted to find out if I was telling the truth, so five minutes later, we had to pack up and come home. Just as well, since I still have laundry to fold and a shower to take!

Have a great afternoon, everyone! I look forward to posting lots of photos and video of my boys together soon!

Right Song, Right Time

2008-06-30T20:04:00.001-05:00

Ever notice (of course you have!) how God gets "in your face" with just the right person, just the right Scripture, just the right song....just when you need it???

Today, my anxiety was the highest it's been in weeks. Along with the wonderful, familiar sound of the chug-a-chug of the adoption wheels beginning to turn came the nagging fear that the enemy loves to plant in my spirit. As God works, so does evil, we know. And evil knows right where our weak spots are.

As I went to my doctor's appointment this afternoon, I turned on the radio and heard this song. Once again, He reminded me Who He is. He didn't have to, but He did it because He loves me, and He knew that in my imperfection I needed that reminder.

Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world! My God can move any mountain. He is Lord over all things. He overcame death and the grave! There is nothing He cannot do. I only have to be faithful, to be a vessel.

"Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave"

New Adoption Information

2008-06-30T12:42:00.002-05:00

There are new developments and changes taking place with our dossier. After further consideration by our adoption agency, it is highly likely at this point that the document we were trying to get from the home study agency will no longer be necessary. This, in itself, is not a negative or a positive for us really....just a change based on the opinions of some experienced adoption caseworkers. It is, however, a positive in that it means that we may be registered sooner than we might otherwise have been. We have been asked to return the completed document which we had to revise right away, so that it can be translated and prepared to be registered with our dossier at the next opportunity.

I should mention that this is the most likely scenario. There is still a chance that they will elect to have the home study agency redo their document after all, but from what I understand, it isn't likely.

Please be in prayer about this. Every decision affects our future and the future of our children. Each decision impacts whether or not our adoption is approved. We ask God to guide each step so that not one person moves outside of His will.

We have also learned today that K's orphanage director, the dear older woman who has been so good to the children, has been replaced. Please pray for the children, who are grieving over the loss of one of the few consistent people in their lives. Right now, the children are away at summer camp. We don't know anything about the new director, but we pray that she will be as kind and loving as the previous one. If some good can be found in this, it may be that this change could make it a little bit easier emotionally for K to leave the orphanage which has been home to her for the last few years. We are praying that God will comfort the children there and help them to build a good relationship with the new director.

IF, IF, IF they decide to go ahead and register our documents in July, we would likely travel on our first trip in August. Mid to late August would be best case scenario for us, with Karl's work schedule and my sister's family coming the first week in August. We want to go soon, but even more, we want to go when God wills it. Please pray with us about this!

God is good, all the time! All the time, God is good!

Buzzed

2008-06-29T21:13:00.002-05:00

Garin had a haircut this week. Since every haircut is such a screaming ordeal, we decided to go for the clippers and buzz it really short. It's really cute, but Mama has had a tough time with this, yet another rite of passage from babyhood to boyhood.

We had a great time last night at a party for pilots and families. There was a ton of delicious food, a water slide and bouncy castle for the kids and a lot of great conversation and fun for us grownups. Garin spent the entire time in the water, except when we forced him to stop for dinner. He was less than thrilled about it, but "Auntie Mel" kept sneaking him cupcakes, which he appreciated. I asked her if she was going to come help us get him to sleep, but he wore himself out playing and managed to get a good night's sleep after all!

We enjoyed church today. We were wonderfully surprised when some friends we invited last night at the party showed up this morning! They are a precious family with two of the most beautiful little boys you've ever seen. One is three months older than Garin, and the other is just a few months old. We went to lunch afterward and had a good laugh when the waitress got confused about their dessert order. They asked for one small dessert, and she brought them three: two which she thought they had ordered and one extra because they had to wait. And they all had ice cream in them, which meant they all had to be eaten quickly, as it's a 40 minute drive home, and they wouldn't make it to the freezer in time. It was hilarious after they had made a point of eating a light lunch and only ordered wings to share. Trevor and Kandi, if you're reading this, we really enjoyed spending some time with y'all today!

Volleyball Stud

2008-06-27T21:23:00.002-05:00

My handsome husband is number 84 (his high school football jersey number) - the guy with the great jump serve. He enjoys playing on the squadron intramural teams: football, basketball and volleyball. Although he played offense AND defense on his high school football team (which, by the way, played in the state championship game), he is happiest these days on the volleyball court. The team took second last year. Tonight was their semi-final game, which they did not win. It's hard for flying squadrons to compete in intramurals because so many of them are gone at any given time flying missions, so there is little continuity on the team. It's just whoever can show up. They lost the first game by just a couple of points, absolutely killed the other team on the second game, but lost the third. I think they were just exhausted. They have played four nights in a row, and the A/C was out in the gym. It was sweltering! In the end, they took third place for the season....nothing to sneeze at!

Garin and I have been noisy but enthusiastic spectators this season. Garin's love for all sports involving balls has made this a very exciting activity for him. He imitates the referee and pretends to make calls, and he loves to play with Dad's volleyball (and his friends) while we watch.

My friend, Kim, and I had a great day of child-free shopping at the beach. We wandered antique shops, art galleries and furniture stores in Lewes, had lunch at a fresh seafood restaurant (YUM!) and then hit the outlet malls. I had bundles of fun at Ann Taylor and Banana Republic and came home with some cute new summer stuff! I am so thankful for Kim's friendship and really enjoyed our day together.

Still no news on the adoption front. Our caseworker is silent again. It's been over two weeks since we've heard from her. I did call our homestudy caseworker, though, who has talked with her and was able to tell me what's going on from her end. We're hopeful that there will be good news soon, and I promise to post here as soon as we receive it!

We finally saw a little bit (emphasis on little) of rain this evening. It is desperately needed, and we are thankful for whatever comes our way. Our sprinkler system is getting a workout this summer already.

We've been working on 4th of July plans, hoping to do something fun. I think there's a block party in base housing with a bunch of our friends, and some friends have invited us to their shore house in NJ too. We'll see how things work out. I can't believe it's just a week away!!!

The biggest and best news: Matt will be here on Wednesday for pretty much the rest of the summer!!!!!!! We can't wait!

A New Life!

2008-06-25T11:15:00.002-05:00

Congratulations to our dear friends, Bethany & Brandon, on the birth of their first child, a beautiful baby girl named Kaya Grace!!!!! Many congratulations also go to Grandpa Wally, Grandma Jo, Grandma Cindy, Aunt Briana, Uncle Jared, Aunt Chris, Uncle Randy, Cousin Rachel Cousin Tyler and the entire Shiloh UMC family!!! I can't tell you how much we still miss you all and wish we could be there to share the love today. Save room for us in small group; we're hoping to be back before Kaya's first birthday. ;-)

Kaya Grace was born on June 24th at 2:57 pm. She weighed 9 lb 6 oz and measured 20.25" long. She is absolutely beautiful! When I get permission from her mommy and daddy, I'll post her pic, but I want to make sure it's okay with them first.

What a blessing!

We're Back!

2008-06-25T09:17:00.004-05:00

We've been passing around a wicked stomach flu since Saturday. I think it is now safe to say that we are all on the mend. I thought we'd never get well!

Garin got sick first and was feeling better first, as evidence by this video of his newest discovery, the somersault:

And here is some video of counting. It isn't perfect like it was on Friday, but I thought the proud grandparents might enjoy hearing it, just the same:

GENIUS

2008-06-21T20:24:00.002-05:00

In happier news, my highly intelligent two-year-old (and, yes, I'm totally open to the possibility that I'm biased) counted to sixteen yesterday! He has been interested in letters and numbers for awhile and knows the names of many of them, but he hadn't seemed to be understanding the uses of them or the concepts behind them. Until yesterday....

At breakfast, he started counting out of the blue and shocked me when he went all the way from one to ten correctly. I was so proud! He did it again, and I did the happy dance in the kitchen, which he found very comical apparently.

Because Karl was home on crew rest after his mission, we had the whole day together and went to the state park for a picnic, some hiking, playground time and an afternoon in the water park. While we were eating lunch in the woods, he took a sip of his juice box and said, "one." Another sip, and he said, "two." A third sip, and (you guessed it) "three." And on he went until he reached ten. This thrilled me because then I realized it wasn't just a memorized series of words. He was understanding the concept of counting!!!

Then, while we were on the playground, he rattled off the numbers all the way to sixteen. After that, I had to help, but I was, and still am, very proud of him!

He has been counting things all day today too. Who knew he was paying so much attention?

I love being a mom!

Answered Prayer

2008-06-21T12:23:00.003-05:00

Thank you all for your prayers for Ron. God heard and answered, although not exactly the way we expected.

This morning Ron went into cardiac arrest again and could not be resuscitated. He has been fully, completely and forever healed by the Great Physician. It is a painful thing for his family to see him go, but he was mentally and spiritually prepared for this day.

A beautiful sidenote to this sad story is that just last weekend, the family had arranged a 40th anniversary party for Ron and Penny. They had known that a 50th was unlikely and wanted them to have a chance to celebrate their life together. One week ago today, they were the guests of honor and were surrounded by precious family and friends. They were able to enjoy the day and the next day, Father's Day, as a family.

Please continue to keep them all in your prayers. Greg, my brother-in-law, is trying to find a flight to get him home from South Dakota right now. My sister and the kids will be on the road today. Please especially pray for Penny right now. Wendy, their daughter, and her husband and children also need special prayer, as life for them is very difficult right now.

Thank you.

My brother-in-law's family

2008-06-20T13:17:00.003-05:00

UPDATE: Ron is improving and is stable. Please continue to keep him in your prayers.

Just a quick note to request prayers. My sister's father-in-law, Ron, was having dialysis today when his heart stopped. They were able to revive him, and he is breathing on his own, but his heartbeat is very irregular. He cannot speak and seems to be disoriented and in pain. They are concerned that he may not survive. My brother-in-law (his son) is in the air on his way to a conference and can't be reached right now, and my sister and the kids are making the drive to East Texas this afternoon to be there if they are needed. There are other stressful events occuring in the extended family right now, and they really need our prayers for strength and peace as well.

Thanks.

A Great Day!

2008-06-19T19:50:00.003-05:00

My grandfather had surgery on his face Tuesday. He had a melanoma that had returned, and his doctor sent him to a specialist in Dallas. It was a fairly traumatic day. They removed a large section, tested it, came back to remove more, tested it, came back to remove more, and tested it. Thankfully, they got it all that time, but he was left with a hole in his face that was approximately 2"x3" from what I understand. (If I have the dimensions wrong, please correct me.) He had plastic surgery afterward, which involved taking a skin graft from his neck to cover the hole. Mom says he has 6" of sutures on his neck that makes him look like someone slit his throat. They spent about 6 hours on the road and about 12 hours at the clinic, which made for a very long day for all of them. We are just so very thankful that they were able to get it all and that the surgery didn't leave his face misshapen. Please pray for continued healing.

Our family all burns easily, and we didn't have sunscreen when I was a kid. This scare has motivated me to get an appointment with a dermatologist to begin regularly checking my skin. I don't want to have cancer, but if I ever do, I want them to catch it early. Mom said that Marci did the same thing. Great minds....!

Today, I had one of those productive mornings when most of "the list" was checked off by 10:00 am. It was the kind of morning that left me wondering why most days I am barely out of my jammies by that time. I finished cleaning house and finished all the laundry, including bedsheets! I guess it had something to do with the knowledge that Karl was on his way home from Spain. Garin and I did the grocery shopping and came home and played outside. We played our version of baseball and a little golf (kid style) and had just gotten to work decorating the driveway with sidewalk chalk when Daddy drove up. YAY!!!

Karl got in the shower, and Garin immediately started stripping down. He wanted in! He loves getting in the shower with Daddy and imitating him. It's a great way to teach male grooming, and I think he needs a little more of that and a little less time with my makeup brushes!

We went out to dinner at Texas Roadhouse, where a napless Garin ate with his eyes closed. By the time we got home, however, he had his second wind. He went straight to the shelves with all of the balls, bats, horseshoes and various other athletic equipment, and grabbed a volleyball. Then he wanted the other volleyball. Then he wanted the basketball. Then he wanted the football.....tennis ball, racquetball, wiffleball....you get the picture. We had 5 seconds of volleyball, and then he wanted to play basketball. Karl held him up for a dunk, but Garin wouldn't let go of the rim! It got a little hairy, but he finally let go as I was headed for the ladder. Daddy could only hold him up that high for so long! In the end, he chased the multitude of balls all over the driveway and under the cars while his Daddy and I practiced overhand serves, jump serves and volleys.

Garin's asleep, Karl is exhausted, and I'm sweaty. It's been a great night!

Blessed News and Broken Hearts

2008-06-18T17:43:00.002-05:00

It has been a busy day in the adoption world for two families.

Some of our face-to-face friends have seen a miracle happen today. God placed a specific child on their hearts to adopt, but the child was not free for adoption. In obedience and anticipation, they began the paperwork, so they could be ready to go when God started moving mountains. Today they were matched with that child that God placed on their hearts long ago! I will say no more, as I don't want to hijack their story. When they have a chance to put it in their own words, I'll share a link, but let's keep praising God for what He has done and what He is going to do.

Some blog friends are living with us in the roller-coaster world of "yippee, here we go - no, wait, nevermind." They expected to travel to meet their kids this month and learned today that it has been put on hold. I know how that feels all too well, and it really stinks. I am praying that they will have peace, strength and resolve to get them through until God works His plan in their lives.

WAIT

2008-06-18T14:22:00.005-05:00

WAIT

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate…
And the Master so gently said, “Wait.”
“Wait? You say wait?" My indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to Wait?
I’m needing a ‘yes,’ a go-ahead sign.
Or even a ‘no,’ to which I’ll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting…for what?”
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine…
And He tenderly said “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.
You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
You’d never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You’d never know should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I’m doing in you.
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still … 'Wait.'”

~Russell Kelfer

This poem was posted by our mutual friend as a comment on Wade and Alice's blog. It touched me deeply as we wait not so patiently for D & K to come home. So many people have tried to guess at what God is trying to teach us through this. I believe that He wants us to know Him more fully, inside, outside and upside-down. He is equipping us, preparing us, building a firmer foundation for us. He is rooting us more deeply in Him. It is my prayer that He is doing the same in the hearts of our children. This poem says it perfectly.

(Wade & Alice are another couple here at Dover AFB. They spent years trying to get pregnant and then felt God calling them to adopt from China. Over a year into their journey, God blessed them with a pregnancy. They continued the adoption process while waiting for their biological daughter to arrive. Eight months later, three years into the adoption wait, they received a referral for a daughter from China; this little angel was born one day after their other daughter! They are all home together now, a beautiful family. God is good!)

So.......What's more fun than playing Elmo's alphabet game on Mom's computer?

2008-06-18T11:50:00.005-05:00

Popping the keys off of Mom's computer while she's on the phone!!!

Five of them popped right back on, and four are sitting on the desk waiting for Mom's blood pressure to go down, so she can try again. It is frustrating to try to figure out something so tedious.

I hate working with teeny stuff, as my eyesight isn't the best anyway, and as much as I hate to admit it, it may be time to consider....ugh....bifocals. I'm wondering if I could just keep the contacts I have and get a pair of those cute little half-frame glasses for detail work/reading. Any of you other mature folks out there know about that?

***Update: Well, whaddaya know? I did it! I took another key apart to figure out how to put them back together and managed to get everything back where it belongs! Maybe we can put that bifocal order on hold for a little while??? (And if you can read this tiny font, you don't need them either!)

Garin and I went to the water park at Killen's Pond this morning. Normally I would say it was much too cold and stay home, but we had already paid for five dates this summer. The 9th Airlift Squadron playgroup combined with the 3rd AS moms to arrange for us to go every other Wednesday morning all summer before the park opens to the public at noon. I would have bet money that Garin wouldn't go in today, as cool as it was. He hated the cold water at the beach last week, and that was a warm day. I was so very wrong!

At first, he hesitated and walked in circles near the edge, but then he saw.....drum roll, please....the SLIDE! Right in themiddle of the 1'-deep kiddie pool, there was a big yellow tube slide. He made a beeline into the pool, up the stairs of the slide and *whoosh!*, down he went. He wasn't prepared for the splash at the bottom and froze in terror momentarily. I was sure it was all over, but after taking a minute to regroup, he was off again. When it came time to leave, it was the typical scene that occurs when a child having a great time hears the dreaded words: "It's time to go." Lots of squirming and loud protests. YAY!!! He likes it!!! At $2 per adult and $1 for 12 and under, it can't be beat for summer fun. It's even cheaper than the base pool. If Karl makes it home on schedule tomorrow, we'll have to go back this weekend and let him play too. He often says that he feels he misses so much because of work, but this is an easy one to do over. Who knows? Maybe we'll even camp there this weekend! They have great campsites and cabins and miles of beautiful trails for bikes and pedestrians, as well as a pond with canoes, paddleboats, kayaks, etc. We'll see how Karl feels.

On the way home, I asked Garin if he wanted to stop and grab lunch out. He said, "Pie?"

I said, "You want pie?"

He said, "No. Pie?"

I thought a minute and said, "Fries???"

"Okaaaaaaay," he said. (If you haven't heard him say this word, try to imagine the pitch going up and down like a roller coaster, sometimes one hill, sometimes many. Let no one say the child doesn't have the gift of inflection!)

He's never been one for fries, but apparently had a change of heart today. He ate them all. It's too bad, really. I liked it better when he preferred the fruit.

I'm getting tired of trying to type without the N, the B and the period. (I almost started this entry with an announcement about missing my period, but then I thought of how disappointed the family would be to learn what it really meant.) It's tricky without the keys. I don't miss the Control yet. This, too, strikes me as funny when I relate it to my life. Control is something I like a little too much, and I definitely miss it at times! I could probably work this into a really good devotional. Note to self.....

16

2008-06-16T13:51:00.004-05:00

My big boy is SIXTEEN today!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!

He really liked it this morning when I went into the "16 years ago today, I was...." speech. ;o)

I am not sure when I got old, but there I was, saying, "It seems like it was just yesterday." Can someone please tell me why, when you become a mother, time stops creeping and hits warp speed?

I am so proud of that kid, and I am so blessed to be his mom, and I am excited to see where God is going to lead him in this big, wonderful life he has ahead!

I'd better leave it at that....doesn't take much to embarass a teenager, you know. I probably already have.

Mr. Sockhead

2008-06-16T13:34:00.004-05:00

From the day he was born, my youngest has shown a strong attraction to all things soft and fuzzy: the blanket Grandma crocheted for him that he carries around the house, leaving a wake of blue fuzz behind him; his special dinosaur Halloween costume that is two sizes too small and still gets weekly wear; the teddy bear at Cracker Barrel that couldn't be pried away and had to be purchased.... I could go on, but I won't. Some of the favored softies are my soft, fuzzy, wearing-around-the-house, wintertime socks. I spent much of this past winter with frozen toes because if I put on these socks, they were immediately confiscated by him and carried away. Ditto for my fuzzy houseshoes. I believe there may even be a picture on an earlier post of him wearing a pair.

For the last couple of weeks, the green ones have been favored. He has sock E.S.P. I sneak them away to wash them, and when I start folding the laundry, he comes and steals them before I can hide them. This morning was no exception. He wore them on his feet (they're actually thigh-highs) for an hour or two, and then he brought them to me. I tried to help him put them back on, and he said, "No." I then started putting them on his hands, as he often does that too. He said, "No." He leaned over, sticking his head in my lap and said, "Head?"

I said, "You want them on your head?"

He said, "Okay."

So I proceeded to stretch the elastic to (maybe beyond) it's limit, but his head was too big. We'd s - t - r - e - t - c - h it over, and it would boing right off. We laughed and laughed as we made multiple attempts. Finally, with his eyes pulled back like a facelift patient straight off the operating table, we succeeded! I don't think I'll be able to wear them again. And here is the final product:

P.S. In case you didn't notice, he's feeling better today!

Happy Father's Day!!!

2008-06-15T18:36:00.003-05:00

I am blessed to have two amazing fathers in my life: my own father and the father of my children! I love you both and am so thankful for you!!!

I forgot to mention Friday that one of our dossier documents has been rewritten and approved. That leaves one more to go, and then I get to go on my apostilling journeys again....something to look forward to (?). We pray that we will soon be a family of six.

It's been a long, busy weekend, and I am wiped out! We had a great time at both the Wing Picnic on Friday and the squadron pig roast/picnic last night! The squadron recognized the commander, who will be moving to the Pentagon. He and his wife and kids are just really exceptional people who have worked so hard during their time here to look after their people and families. It is normal to say nice things about a leaving commander, but I was really struck last night, as person after person got up to speak and said that he was the best leader they had seen, not only in the squadron, but throughout their careers. And each speaker became emotional as they spoke. High and well-deserved praise. They will be deeply missed, but we are so fortunate to have another awesome couple stepping in to fill their shoes!

I gave Karl a Wii for Father's Day (a couple of days early), and we have been obsessed. We can't seem to get to bed at a decent hour, which is unfortunate since Garin does not sleep in. And he woke up sick in the night last night. Today has been a blur of medicine, snot and tears (his, not mine...yet). I am so tired!

Karl headed out today on a mission, but we expect it to be a short one, assuming he doesn't get stuck somewhere for a week like he did last month! We have several fun things going on: bowling and lunch with 'the girls' tomorrow, spouses' social Tuesday, and Killen's Pond Water Park with friends and kids on Wednesday. Perhaps the most exciting thing is that Harvey, our Ragdoll cat, is FINALLY going to the groomer. He is in desperate need of a beauty treatment!

Tomorrow is my big boy's birthday. Matt will be *gasp* sixteen!!!! I tend to think I am still about sixteen most of the time. Nothing like your "baby" getting a driver's license to send you crashing back into reality!

Beautiful Day at the Beach

2008-06-12T19:09:00.003-05:00

My friend, Kim, and I packed up our three boys this morning and headed to Cape Henlopen for some sand and surf. It was an absolutely perfect beach day, temps in the 80's and a nice breeze coming off the ocean to keep us comfortable! The boys had a great time. Colin, the 6-year-old, played in the waves and made some new friends. Garin and his buddy, Cooper, who is 2 months younger, mostly wanted to wander the beach and take up with other young families who had cooler toys on their blankets. Kim and I got plenty of exercise chasing them. Garin also found the sand to be a very tasty snack and would not stop licking it off his hands. I couldn't decide if he actually liked eating the sand or if it was the only way he could think of to keep his hands clean (one of his OCD things). Either way, we'll have an interesting diaper tomorrow, I'm sure! We were all exhausted by the time we headed home.

The most exciting part of our adventure happened just after we arrived this morning. One of the things I love about Cape Henlopen (besides the fact that it's beautiful and much less crowded than the more commercialized Rehoboth Beach) is that I have never been there in the summer that I didn't see dolphins. This trip was no exception. I have loved dolphins for years. I always thought they were cute, but I got to pet one at Sea World on a weekend college trip to San Antonio, and I was in love. They are such social animals and seem to be so fond of humans. I recently saw a story about a dolphin that saved an injured surfer from a shark that was incredible. At Cape Henlopen, it seems that they enjoy swimming with people. They stay very close to the beach, jumping, playing and, it seems, watching. Today there was a large group of dolphins getting closer than I've ever seen them there. They put on quite a show! And there was one little bitty one that came completely out of the water on the video. I don't know if you will be able to see it, as I have to shrink it and sacrifice quality for uploading, but watch closely. If nothing else, you'll see lots of backs and fins coming out of the water!

The hot mama in the red tankini is my friend Kim. Cooper is the cutie in the askew cap and green shirt walking up the beach with Garin's boogie board. And, yes, Garin has a nasty bug bite on his temple. He got it Saturday night in our backyard kiddie pool.

Busy week coming up! Tomorrow afternoon, we'll go the Wing Picnic here on base. Tomorrow night, our squadron is roasting a pig for Saturday's squadron picnic. We'll hit both of those too. We are saying farewell to our awesome squadron commander and his family this week. :-( There will be a golf tournament Monday and a spouses' dinner Tuesday, also. Plus, Karl has a deployment exercise to oversee Monday through Thursday. And, as if he weren't busy enough, they may have to put him on a mission leaving Sunday, as they are crazy busy right now and in need of an aircraft commander. How many places can one man be at once??? Stay tuned, and I'll keep you posted! :-)

Making Magic

2008-06-07T19:53:00.003-05:00

There are certain days in this life that are inexplicably magical. Today was one of them for us, and we soaked up the joy along with the sweltering heat and humidity! Perhaps it had something to do with the relief of knowing that we are back on the road to bringing D & K home. Perhaps it was because it was a completely free Saturday to spend together. Perhaps it was just because we were all open to accept the blessings of the day. I don't know, but we are thankful!

Karl and I spent the morning mowing and doing laundry, respectively. Garin played, watched TV and spent a little time working on his alphabet with Elmo on the computer. (Matt, by the way, was nearing the end of an all-night bus trip...fun, fun.) When our electricity went out on what has been the hottest day of the year so far (in the nineties), at least until tomorrow when we expect 98 degrees, we took off to the mall for some lunch and a/c.

I have worn the same tired, sad bathing suit since before Garin was born. I've had no inclination to even consider trying on another suit since then, as my body refuses to regain its pre-pregnancy shape, and I've not been excited about baring it for the world. However, there comes a point, when your suit is faded, snagged and sporting a huge breastmilk stain from two summers ago, that a girl has to bite the bullet or stay away from the beach. I reached that point today. Amazingly, the suit I have been admiring from afar for several months was still on the rack at Macy's this afternoon! There were two left, and one was my size! I tried it on, and (oh my gosh!) it fit! And it looked good!!! And so the miracles began.........

We came home to a cool house, complete with electricity, and began setting up the swimming pool I bought earlier in the week for Garin. I have to say, for $29 it was a steal. It is huge for a kiddie pool, and it has a debris cover that fastens over it so it won't get nasty. Our little electric air pump worked hard, but we finally got it set up, and Garin had a blast in it! Here's a little sample of our fun (Note that he's still winking like crazy.):

We are going to have a talk about different kinds of kissing, I'm afraid. I'm not sure if the babysitter has let him see some questionable programming or if Karl and I need to tone it down in his presence, but yesterday, Garin climbed into my lap, raised his little eyebrows, shut his eyes and laid one on me. Now this wasn't a typical little-boy peck on the lips. Once our lips locked, he started sliding his head to the right, then to the left (all the while with eyes closed and brows up). Then, I kid you not, he opened his lips and started sticking out his tongue! I busted out laughing and laughed until I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Fortunately, he saw the humor too and laughed with me. I don't know where he learned about romantic kissing, but man, he was working it! I seem to remember Matt going through a phase where he wanted to be the man, too. How do you explain this to a two-year-old?!

Back on the Road to our Children

2008-06-05T20:53:00.002-05:00

We had another conference call today regarding the adoption. Some of the issues of concern have been clarified, and we are now prepared to move forward again, making sure that all of our paperwork is perfect (as much as is possible) and getting registered. Things are looking up! Keep praying!

Brushes With Fame....

2008-06-04T17:51:00.006-05:00

I've known a couple of famous people. Well, more like almost famous. When I knew them, they were just regular people.

I went to junior high and high school with certain Hollywood heartthrob, but he was just a regular, scrawny (although cuter than average) high school boy then.

My first kiss took place on a church bus on the way to our youth group's winter ski trip to Colorado with a a regular, scrawny (although very musically talented) high school boy I'd known all my life, who became a guitarist in a chart-topping country music band.

Today, I saw a regular, scrawny (although very tall, intelligent, handsome and caring) high school boy on television. It was my Matt on the Today show!!!

Matt's high school band is on tour this week; they spent a couple of days in Boston and are now in NYC. He called and woke me up this morning about 6 am to tell me that he was at the studio and that I needed to watch TV.

Now, these things don't normally impress me too much, but it was very exciting to see my "baby" whooping it up with his buddies on live national television. (Would not have been so exciting had it been a live feed from MTV's Spring Break, mind you.) But we made good use of the DVR and will be keeping it awhile for show and tell, I'm sure. If you haven't seen the teens with your kids yet, just wait! Everyone says that they grow up too fast. It is cliche, yes, but all too true. There is something disquieting about seeing your baby standing in the middle of a group of men and women and suddenly realizing that he is one of them. He, too, is one whisker away from adulthood.

Sure does make a Mama proud, though!

Memorial Day Revisited

2008-06-02T14:48:00.003-05:00

As I looked back on previous posts, I realized that one of the highlights of my trip to Texas was unmentioned in them. I had the humbling privilege of speaking to a wonderful group of senior citizens at Buckner's Westminster, an independent living/assisted living facility in my hometown, at their Memorial Day service. As a military spouse and the granchild and great-grandchild of veterans, this is a very special day to me. I find it difficult to see the way most people "celebrate" Memorial Day, and this year I was able to spend it with people who really understand its purpose and meaning in a personal way. As these people made their way outside to sit or stand by the flagpole in the 85-degree heat and smothering humidity of an East Texas morning, I noticed that almost every one of them was wearing red, white and blue. They wore pins, t-shirts and hats honoring those who have fought for our freedom. Far too many of them also had framed photographs in hand, black and white photographs of handsome young men in uniform - the last picture of someone they loved.

One woman showed me her son, who died in Vietnam. His older sister was one of my own father's childhood friends.

Another woman took me aside to tell me that she, like I, was the wife of an Air Force pilot. He was a colonel who fought and died in World War II; she was a widow at the age of 38, just one year younger than I am.

One World War II veteran showed me a photo of his younger brother. They were in different units and were not stationed together. One day, another soldier saw his brother's picture which he carried with him and said, "I know that guy. He's here." The soldier took him to his brother, and they shared a brief but sweet reunion in Europe. It was the last time he saw his brother.

Below is the text of the speech I gave. I altered it a little as I spoke, but the message is the same. It isn't anything extraordinary, but I hope that as you read, you will hear what my heart wanted to say. I know Memorial Day has passed us by for another year, but there is never a day when we should forget the sacrifice that so many have made for us.

I am so honored to be here to share a few thoughts about freedom on Memorial Day. My name is Lori Heinrich, and I grew up here in Longview. I am the proud wife of an Air Force pilot who flies C-5 cargo planes all over the world. And I am the mother of two sons, ages 16 and 2, who I hope will grow up with a strong sense of patriotism and appreciation for this country and what it stands for.

My great grandfather, John Lester Baldwin, served as an Army cook in France during WWI.

My maternal grandfather, Paul Blackwell, was a fleet mechanic in the Coast Guard, and he and my grandmother lived in New Orleans during the war.

My paternal grandfather, Raymond Risinger, was a B-25 pilot in the Army Air Corps and served in Europe. He lived here at Westminster in 2005-2006; some of you may have known him. I remember him telling incredible stories about his experiences. He often told about the time he and several other men were flying planes from the United States to Europe. They had to make a stop in the Ascension Islands for the night. Their planes were to be maintained and fueled while they slept, and their parachutes were to be repacked. The next day, as they flew the next leg of their mission, his plane began to smoke and sputter. He was able to barely limp to their next stop in Liberia with 30 minutes worth of fuel remaining, and when they arrived, it was discovered that his fuel tank had been sabotaged and his parachute shredded by the enemy.

On another occasion, he and another pilot had one more mission to fly before they could come home. When the opportunity came to fly, they drew straws because they both were eager to return to their families. By the grace of God, my papaw lost and had to wait on another mission. The pilot who won did not return from the mission.

For as long as I can remember, Memorial Day has held special interest for me because of its purpose: to remember those who gave their lives for our country and for our freedom. It is an emotional day for me, as we reflect on the incredible sacrifice that so many people have made to make it possible for us to live in a country where we are able to follow our dreams, to determine our destinies and to worship without fear. More than 1.3 million Americans have given their lives for this blessing of freedom. I know that some of you have lost a spouse, a child, a brother or a friend. My father tells me that Mrs. Langford wears a pin every day in memory of her son who gave his life in Vietnam. I am here to tell you that their sacrifice, and yours, are not forgotten.

I was asked to speak to you about the price of freedom. Many of you who are here today have made sacrifices for our country through your service. It is a humbling experience to share with you, as your generation knows more about the price of freedom than I do. Far too often, the people of my generation take freedom for granted. Memorial Day is called a “holiday,” but I’m not sure that this is the appropriate designation. Too many people see it as a day to have a big picnic and a great party, a vacation day. While we certainly have reason to celebrate our freedom, this day is set aside to honor those who made it possible. Because many of my generation have never had to suffer for the cause of freedom, we seem to believe it always has been and always will be. But that could not be further from the truth. Thomas Jefferson once said, “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.” We must never take our freedom for granted, nor should we forget or ignore the great sacrifice it requires. It seems that so many in our country seek peace at any cost. Peace is a wonderful and worthy goal, but when we compromise our principles for peace, it cannot survive.

I would like to share with you my appreciation with all of you who have served our country. Those who have served in the military are a blessing to all of us. You have laid your lives on the line for our country, and there are no words to adequately thank you. But I also include in my gratitude those whose sacrifice was the loss of someone they loved and those who supported from home their service member. I know firsthand the sacrifices that are required of today’s military families. We spouses deal with lengthy deployments and have to learn to manage all aspects of our homes as well as playing both Mommy and Daddy to our little ones. It is hard sometimes, but I often think about those who were left behind during previous wars. Letters took much longer than email and were censored in such a way that there was nothing left but the salutation and closing. Phone calls were unheard of, and families waited weeks for word from their loved ones. I find myself worried if I don’t hear from my husband for a few days when he is on a mission. I cannot imagine the worry of waiting weeks or months for any word of a loved one away at war.

The protection of our freedom requires a great sense of honor, bravery, purpose and personal responsibility. I would like to share some quotes that I found regarding freedom and its preservation.

- Dwight Eisenhower said, “History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or timid.” This is true; freedom cannot exist unless people are willing to stand up for it and lay it all on the line.
- Gen. Douglas MacArthur once said, “No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in its preservation.” We all have a responsibility to protect our freedom as a nation. We cannot leave it to others. We cannot afford to be silent or still. As Americans, it is our obligation to do what is necessary to protect our country.
- Daniel Webster said, “God grants liberty only to those who love it, and are always ready to guard and defend it.”
- Webster also said, “A country cannot subsist well without liberty, nor liberty without virtue.” Virtue (moral excellence, goodness, righteousness), then, is a key to freedom. We must always be seeking the way that is right rather than the way that is easy.

From the beginning of our country, our forefathers recognized the incredible sacrifice that freedom would require. The Declaration of Independence was signed with the following pledge “And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.” Each man who placed his signature on that historic document also placed his own life on the line.

From Ft. Sumter and Gettysburg of the Civil War to the Western Front of World War I, from Pearl Harbor and Normandy in World War II to the Korean War, from Vietnam to Desert Storm, from Operation Enduring Freedom to Operation Iraqi Freedom, our men and women in uniform have understood that freedom was worth fighting for and that the cost would be high, but they have been willing to pay it. I am so thankful for each one of them.

On March 23, 1775, Patrick Henry gave a speech titled Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death. In that speech, he spoke the following famous words: "Besides, sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations, and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave."

Patrick Henry's speech was given over 233 years ago, but the message is still true today. God Himself knows the painful price of freedom. He gave His only Son to provide the ultimate freedom when Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins.

In 2 Corinthians 3:17, we read, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

I pray that we, as a nation, never forget that true freedom comes from God and that we will always be faithful to honor those who have gone before us by continuing to protect the precious gift of freedom for which they gave their lives.

Thank you so much for having me here today, and thank you for your commitment to our freedom. I would like to leave you today with this poem by Kelly Strong:

Freedom Is Not Free

I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze.
A young Marine saluted it,
and then he stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud,
He'd stand out in any crowd.
I thought how many men like him
Had fallen through the years.
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?
How many pilots' planes shot down?
How many died at sea?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, freedom isn't free.

I heard the sound of TAPS one night,
When everything was still
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.
I wondered just how many times
That TAPS had meant "Amen,"
When a flag had draped a coffin
Of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard
At the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, freedom isn't free.

My Gully Needed Washing!

2008-06-02T13:44:00.003-05:00

Okay, now I can confess it. I spent most of last week in a funk. It was something resembling a really bad case of PMS, only it was the wrong time of the month, so there was no excuse but my own bad attitude and a lot of stress. I was emotionally and physically exhausted after the adoption setback, Eli's illness, Garin's new rebellious streak and the travel trauma, among other things. I was trying to resign myself to the new developments and make it all okay in my head, and I was trying to do it without falling apart. My conclusion: Sometimes you just need to fall apart.

I give it to God and stoically determine that because I have, I don't need to cry. My faith is so strong that nothing hurts much because I know that God is working all things according to His plan. Then I get all tied in knots on the inside, and I give it to God again. This brings up the question of how I can give it back to God if I already gave it to Him in the first place. I know the answer, but I don't like it: I keep taking it back. I don't do it on purpose. In fact, most of the time, I take it one little bit at a time, and it sort of creeps back so slowly that I don't even know I have it until I start feeling ugly again.

I don't know why I think that my composure and control is what makes the world continue to spin. What arrogance is it that causes me to believe that I am somehow the glue that holds everyone else together? I spent the second half of last week tired, beating myself up that I didn't get everything done around here as soon as my feet hit the Delaware soil.

This was "race weekend" in Dover, one of the two weekends each year when all of NASCAR-dom descends upon this small city in RV's and pickup trucks, taking every hotel room and claiming our main road, a six-lane state highway, as a pedestrian walkway. Race flags go up on every store and restaurant in hopes of enticing a little business, and drunken people of all ages and socioeconomic groups weave their way from one to another in various states of dress and undress, without regard for traffic. Those of us who live here know to buy lots of groceries before Thursday, go home and don't leave the house again until at least Monday.

I was looking forward to FINALLY having a quiet weekend with my family for the first time in many weeks. We had planned a menu of favorites - NOT diet food - and I had gone shopping. We had Karl's favorite pasta dish Friday and a favorite breakfast bread on Saturday morning, followed by a Chinese cole slaw accompanied by a complete meltdown for lunch. It was proof that food does not, in fact, solve every problem. Shocker!

I confessed my weakness to my husband, who, to his credit, had not said a word but must have been wondering what kind of hormonal imbalance had overtaken me. I had another talk with God, and within minutes, in an amazing display of power, He sent a spring storm to rival even the best East Texas gullywasher. As we watched the lightning and the rain pouring down and listened to the booming thunder, it felt like my soul got a good powerwashing - something I need every once in a while when I let the gunk build up, when I let the past haunt me and present taunt me, even though I know Who holds my future.

I don't have to be strong; God is strong within me. I don't have to be perfect; Christ is perfecting me. I don't have to to live in fear because the Holy Spirit gives me hope.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." ~Romans 15: 13

(So we spent the rest of the weekend eating more of our favorite foods and playing outside. We missed church because driving from Dover AFB to Middletown is impossible on race day. Three of my favorite movies were on TV - The Holiday, Under the Tuscan Sun and Steel Magnolias. And Karl and I played Rummy for hours after Garin's bedtime and during his naps. Karl commented last night that it reminded him of when we were dating and newlyweds.... *sigh*.... Me too! We needed that reminder.)

The Wink!

2008-06-02T13:34:00.003-05:00

My two year old has learned to wink! I know....hard to believe, isn't it? In this family??? I guess with two ooey-gooey, mushy-wushy parents who still wink at each other across the dining table or across the room at least 30 times each day, it was inevitable. As we were finishing up our supper Saturday night, Garin looked over at his daddy and gave him a perfect wink! Since then, he's been unstoppable....except of course when I asked him to wink for the camera. This is the best I could get on film. It appears he was going through a lizard phase yesterday afternoon when I took this. I'm hoping this tongue thing doesn't become a habit. Watch for the winking just after he licks his filthy fingers.....yuk!

2008-05-29T14:05:00.007-05:00

A Boy and His Grandpa....

I'm not sure where to start with all that has transpired in the last couple of weeks! Karl left on a mission three weeks ago. He was scheduled to fly to S. Carolina, Germany, Afghanistan, Kyrgyzstan, Bahrain, Germany, Texas and back home to Dover. "The Plan" was to be home within a week. Well, as any good Air Force wife knows, plans are made to be changed. Due to some maintenance issues, the trip ended up taking two weeks. A few days into it, it became apparent that his mission would be longer than anticipated. Since I had a couple of free weeks ahead, Garin and I packed up and flew to Texas to visit family! It was wonderful to be home! Garin loves the farm and the animals, but more than anything he loves to be outside. His first word upon waking up the first morning was "outside?" From then on, it was his most-used word; he wanted to be outdoors every waking moment. It took three adults to keep up with his two-year-old energy in the 90-something-degree heat. We spent time with cats, dogs, horses, cows, goats, the sole surviving chicken (long story) and Garin's favorite: frogs. We had fun with my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, my cousins and my cousin's kids. There was also a family reunion last weekend for my grandfather's family, and I had the privilege of meeting and reconnecting with some great family that I don't see often enough! We also were able to catch up with some long-time friends who are like family.

We spent one day with Karl's mom in Oklahoma and enjoyed some time with Karl's grandmother, sister and two nephews - one of whom was only six days old! Needless to say, Aunt Lori made the sacrifice of holding him and loving on him for much of the afternoon! As you can see in the video, Garin had a blast with Clancy Paul, his cousin who is 4 months older.

Our exciting trip home was somewhat less enjoyable, but we survived! There is a certain feeling of accomplishment that comes when you've gotten through such a test without tears or a straightjacket! Our plane was delayed five hours, and being the early birds that we are, we spent almost seven hours in the terminal. AND...being the IDIOT that I am, I had decided to check the stroller through with my bag rather than dealing with it through security. Never, never, never again. It was a huge risk that didn't pay off. I spent the entire seven hours trying to chase and manhandle a tired and cranky two year old. Needless to say, we were thrilled to finally get to Philly and get in our car. I used an awesome new parking service this time; for a $10 fee, they will bring your car to the airport and let you leave directly from baggage claim. That was worth a million bucks to me when we dragged in at 11 pm!

We're just trying to get back into our routine today. I'm doing laundry and working on the last few things I have to do for our final OSC board meeting of the year. I'm so ready to pass the presidential duties on to next year's board!!!

Some of you have been reading the blog of Audrey Caroline's parents. Audrey was born and passed away on April 7th. Her cousin, Gregory Luke, who is two months old, passed away in his sleep Tuesday night. Please continue to pray for Todd and Angie, and now for his sister, Nicol, and her husband, Greg. And let's continue to remember the Chapman family as they grieve little Maria. So much pain in these families. So much pain in this world. There is only One Hope. There is only One Comforter. There is only One True Peace.

We'll keep finding joy in the little things and looking forward to Heaven.....

Getting back to normal...

2008-05-28T08:22:00.002-05:00

Great news! Eli began feeling better yesterday and seems to have recovered from whatever ailed him! He was admitted to the hospital and underwent ultrasounds and x-rays, but the doctors couldn't find anything, and he eventually began to feel better. It could have just been a bad stomach virus that caused cramping, but with his history, they certainly couldn't take any chances. We are so thankful that he didn't require surgery again!

Garin and I arrived in Philly about 10:30 last night after a five-and-a-half-hour delay at DFW. What an insane day! But we survived with sanity intact...barely. I have a bag full of great stories of a cranky two year old in a busy airport, but I'll have to get to those later, as I still have to unpack and get to a luncheon this morning.

I didn't want to mention that I was in Texas because my husband was stuck overseas. 1+1=2, and I didn't want to announce to the world wide web that no one was home at my house! I have some great video and fun to share from our trip as well!

Have a beautiful Wednesday!