Oh, the Nightmares!

****STILL NO WORD (4:30 pm EDT). I called at 3:30 and left a voicemail; no reply yet..... I'm guessing (just a hunch based on past experience) that there won't be any news today. Maybe tomorrow. I'm beginning to realize that my expectations are too high.****


****STILL WAITING!!!!!!! ugh....2:40 pm EDT****


****UPDATE - 11:30 am EDT - Still no word from our agency. I sent an email to our caseworker a few minutes ago, asking if she's heard anything. I'll let you know if I hear from her!****


Horrible, horrible nightmares!

I shudder to think of what my dreams will be the night before we go to court if I'm dreaming like this just waiting for word that our dossier is registered! I woke up from an awful nightmare at 3:00 am which combined a bad memory from my youth with a murderous rampage. When I was a teenager, fourteen or fifteen I think, I was asked to babysit for a family in our church. They had a little girl who was five-ish and a little boy who was two. I had lots of experience with babysitting by then; how hard could it be? Well, as soon as Mom walked out the door, the little girl jumped on her bike and took off around the block. She wouldn't stop when I told her to, and I had to chase her down the street and grab the back of her bike to stop her. She turned around and spat the ugliest insult she could think of at me: "You goose!" We went back to the house and locked ourselves inside, and the next thing I knew she had gotten a steak knife and was sawing away at a cardboard tube that contained something of her father's. When she got in trouble for that, she went ballistic again. Then her little brother started climb to the top of the entertainment center! Those two had ZERO discipline, and big bad Mommy came home and sweetly told them, after I had shared our evening's events, to just wait until Daddy comes home!

Anyway, their daddy was in my dream, and he was toting a handgun and coming after me in some large building with long hallways.....very strange.

Then I dreamed of K. She was being asked by the judge or caseworker what she thought of us after she met us. She said she didn't want to go home with us. She thought we were okay, but we weren't the family she wanted. She wanted them - the wonderful family that hosted her and D when they were here in 2005. I was heartbroken because I knew that they weren't able to adopt her, and I wanted her but wasn't the Mom she wanted.

I am so eager to meet and hug my children, and I do hope we get good news today and a travel date soon!