A Boy and His Grandpa....

I'm not sure where to start with all that has transpired in the last couple of weeks! Karl left on a mission three weeks ago. He was scheduled to fly to S. Carolina, Germany, Afghanistan, Kyrgyzstan, Bahrain, Germany, Texas and back home to Dover. "The Plan" was to be home within a week. Well, as any good Air Force wife knows, plans are made to be changed. Due to some maintenance issues, the trip ended up taking two weeks. A few days into it, it became apparent that his mission would be longer than anticipated. Since I had a couple of free weeks ahead, Garin and I packed up and flew to Texas to visit family! It was wonderful to be home! Garin loves the farm and the animals, but more than anything he loves to be outside. His first word upon waking up the first morning was "outside?" From then on, it was his most-used word; he wanted to be outdoors every waking moment. It took three adults to keep up with his two-year-old energy in the 90-something-degree heat. We spent time with cats, dogs, horses, cows, goats, the sole surviving chicken (long story) and Garin's favorite: frogs. We had fun with my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, my cousins and my cousin's kids. There was also a family reunion last weekend for my grandfather's family, and I had the privilege of meeting and reconnecting with some great family that I don't see often enough! We also were able to catch up with some long-time friends who are like family.

We spent one day with Karl's mom in Oklahoma and enjoyed some time with Karl's grandmother, sister and two nephews - one of whom was only six days old! Needless to say, Aunt Lori made the sacrifice of holding him and loving on him for much of the afternoon! As you can see in the video, Garin had a blast with Clancy Paul, his cousin who is 4 months older.

Our exciting trip home was somewhat less enjoyable, but we survived! There is a certain feeling of accomplishment that comes when you've gotten through such a test without tears or a straightjacket! Our plane was delayed five hours, and being the early birds that we are, we spent almost seven hours in the terminal. AND...being the IDIOT that I am, I had decided to check the stroller through with my bag rather than dealing with it through security. Never, never, never again. It was a huge risk that didn't pay off. I spent the entire seven hours trying to chase and manhandle a tired and cranky two year old. Needless to say, we were thrilled to finally get to Philly and get in our car. I used an awesome new parking service this time; for a $10 fee, they will bring your car to the airport and let you leave directly from baggage claim. That was worth a million bucks to me when we dragged in at 11 pm!

We're just trying to get back into our routine today. I'm doing laundry and working on the last few things I have to do for our final OSC board meeting of the year. I'm so ready to pass the presidential duties on to next year's board!!!

Some of you have been reading the blog of Audrey Caroline's parents. Audrey was born and passed away on April 7th. Her cousin, Gregory Luke, who is two months old, passed away in his sleep Tuesday night. Please continue to pray for Todd and Angie, and now for his sister, Nicol, and her husband, Greg. And let's continue to remember the Chapman family as they grieve little Maria. So much pain in these families. So much pain in this world. There is only One Hope. There is only One Comforter. There is only One True Peace.

We'll keep finding joy in the little things and looking forward to Heaven.....

Getting back to normal...

Great news! Eli began feeling better yesterday and seems to have recovered from whatever ailed him! He was admitted to the hospital and underwent ultrasounds and x-rays, but the doctors couldn't find anything, and he eventually began to feel better. It could have just been a bad stomach virus that caused cramping, but with his history, they certainly couldn't take any chances. We are so thankful that he didn't require surgery again!

Garin and I arrived in Philly about 10:30 last night after a five-and-a-half-hour delay at DFW. What an insane day! But we survived with sanity intact...barely. I have a bag full of great stories of a cranky two year old in a busy airport, but I'll have to get to those later, as I still have to unpack and get to a luncheon this morning.

I didn't want to mention that I was in Texas because my husband was stuck overseas. 1+1=2, and I didn't want to announce to the world wide web that no one was home at my house! I have some great video and fun to share from our trip as well!

Have a beautiful Wednesday!

Prayers for Eli

Many of you prayed with us last year when my nephew, Eli, was critically ill and had to have part of his intestine removed. He went to the emergency room early this morning with the same sort of symptoms, and we are waiting for word on his condition. The doctor had mentioned that there was a possibility of adhesions in the intestines following the surgery. Please pray with us that Eli will not require further abdominal surgery and that this will not have long-term effects.

I have been in Texas with my family for the last ten days and am scheduled to fly out this afternoon. Unless there are any major developments, I guess I will stick to that plan, although I hate to leave my family during a difficult time.

It has been a wonderful visit, and there are a number of things I'd like to blog about, but that will have to wait until I get back to Dover. Time with family is too precious to spend much time on the computer!

Please Pray

Our adoption roller coaster has reached a new low. At the request of our agency, we are not able to give details, but this is the most daunting road block we've seen so far, and it could end our efforts unless something changes. We covet your prayers now more than ever before. We ask God to give our agency representatives wisdom. We know that He is Lord of All, and we ask Him to intervene on behalf of His children. He is also the Great Comforter and a Loving Father. We pray that D & K will feel His incomparable love, protection and peace, now and always.

Thank you all.

Happy News!

The last few days have been crazy in a most enjoyable way! I promise to explain more in the near future. In the meantime, I will share with you the happiest bit of news that just can't wait: I am an aunt again!!!!! Karl's sister, Jill, gave birth to Auzy Luke at 1 am today. He was 8 lb 11 oz and was 21" long. Everyone's doing fine, praise God! Jill, Trint and big brother, Clancy Paul, have a lot of fun ahead! I called Karl's cell when I got the news, in the hope that I might catch him on the ground somewhere, and he actually answered. Who knew they had such good cell phone reception in Kyrgyzstan!

We love you guys!!! Congratulations! I can hardly wait to hold him.

Rekindling Old Passions

NO...I don't mean like THAT!

We have been in need of a focal point in our front entry hall since we moved into this house. This week, I finally took matters into my own hands! I made a trip to Michael's yesterday afternoon and picked up a pretty pot and some silk flowers to create an arrangement.

It's been about 12 years since I've done any floral design. I didn't really think I missed it. In fact, as I recall, the last time I did an arrangement, I was so unhappy with it that I lost interest altogether. But I spent the last hour putting this baby together, and I am so happy with it!

The photos don't look as good as the real thing (they never do)....bad lighting, bad focus....but I am proud to share my latest creation. I figure it's not too shabby for someone who hasn't stretched her creativity/color/texture muscles in a long time!

Here it is on my great-grandmother's dresser, where it will spend the next year or so, at least. I refinished this dresser several years ago. The mirror is in the basement and will soon be making its way up to join the party. As you can see, Harvey is going to be a challenge, I'm afraid!

Blessings and Burdens

Waiting is hard for me! Those of you who know me well are not shocked by this, I realize. I prefer to drive ahead, to "git 'er done." I have discovered that even after all God has taken me through and all the times He has told me to be patient, I still take off at a full gallop as soon as He reveals His will and expect everyone and everything else to fall in line because I am being obedient. I am not a steam roller, taking out anyone in my way, but I do carry a lot of frustration with me at times. These verses spoke to me this morning, another gentle reminder that I am not in control, and I need to get over myself. I suspect that there are a lot of us that may need to remember this:

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:13-14


It's been a strange weekend...

You know how there are certain old friends that you know will always be friends, the pick-up-where-you-left-off sort? Kim and Rob are those type of friends to me. We met 12 years ago when they were Air Force, I wasn't, and we went to church together in Illinois. Our kids played together; we laughed a lot; and we spent most Sunday afternoons and some holidays together. When my life fell apart, they were there for me, sacrificially giving of their time and labor to help me move, watch Matt, whatever. We stayed in touch, but they were overseas for many of the last ten years. I saw them last year for the first time since 1999, and it was wonderful.

I got an email from Kim on Saturday, saying that Rob's brother (who lives here in Dover - it really is a very small world) had died that morning of a massive heart attack at the age of 42, and they were headed this way on Sunday morning from North Carolina. They spent the day with Rob's parents and came here last night at 10:30. Kim and I were able to catch up a bit last night. It was good to see them, but I hate that it was under such painful circumstances. Kim's parents have both passed away in the last couple of years as well. Please keep them in your prayers. They are doing a lot of traveling in the next couple of weeks and will be back here next week for the memorial service.

Some close friends of Karl's family are facing a frightening diagnosis as well. His sister's lifelong best friend, Erica, lost her first child at birth because of a birth defect. She has two precious little boys now, but the youngest has developed either a tumor or cyst behind his eye that is impairing his vision. He will be having surgery in the coming weeks, and we pray that the doctors will be able to remove it and be done with it, that there will be no sign of anything to cause ongoing concern.

Mother's Day with my baby boy was relaxed and quite lovely. We spent the morning at church and came home for a relaxing afternoon. I missed Matt, but he called just after lunch to wish me a happy Mother's Day. Karl ended up getting stuck in Germany for a couple of days, so we were able to have some "family time" thanks to the webcams. (Greatest invention EVER for military families or any family that is separated frequently!!!)

I spent much of yesterday thinking about my new blog friends who have lost babies this year and praying for them. There is just no way to make a day like that better, and I hate it. It is like trying to ignore the elephant in the room. You wish you could just pretend it's any other day, but it isn't, and - frankly - in the midst of such grief, "any other day" doesn't feel that good either. I am fortunate to have so much to celebrate on Mother's Day because of the two boys I have and the hope of D & K coming home soon, but I still dread those days that will forever jump off the calendar at me: July 22nd and November 26th especially. I pray that in time these families will find a way to cherish the memories, make the most of every day, cry sometimes over the loss, but mostly look to the future and the plans God has for them with more anticipation and joy and with less fear and grief. God is so good, and He has a beautiful way of counterbalancing the deepest sorrow with the most incredible blessings!

I got some wonderful news today from my friend, Shauna. Her son, JT, is continuing to progress with treatment. When his leg was amputated, it was sent to pathology, so the doctors could get an indication of how well the chemo was working against the cancer cells. The doctors were hoping for a 50% success rate, as most of the kids are averaging 30-40% right now. The idea being, of course, that if it's killed 50% of the cancer in the leg, it is also killing 50% in the lungs, liver, stomach, groin, etc. They received the amazing report that it was almost 100% effective for JT!!!! (They cannot say a certain 100% because there could be one little cell in there somewhere.) JT has a couple more intensive in-patient chemos to go, and then in June/July, they will do one last high-dose treatment which will take his white cell count to zero and hopefully kill off anything that's trying to hang on. Once this is done, he will begin radiation on the tumors throughout his body. It is absolutely incredible to realize how far he's come in the last six months! God is so good!

I am walking in the Relay for Life with our church team in June and will walk in honor of JT and Julie (my neighbor who beat Wilms Tumor last year) and in memory of Billy Palmer and Karl's grandmother. There are so many lives affected by cancer, and the children touch me most of all. Our church is also having a hope and healing service next week to honor the survivors and the memory of those whom we have lost.

This is beginning to sound morbid, but I don't mean for it to. Part of celebrating life is recognizing how fragile and precious it is and how very blessed we are to enjoy it!

In other news, we had a storm last night like I have never seen in Delaware! The winds blew all night. The house literally shook and creaked. Our iron patio furniture was scattered this morning, and Garin's play equipment was completely disassembled and strewn about the back yard. The back windows and the car were pasted with shredded leaves that had been torn by the wind and plastered against the screens. I got very little sleep, and most of my friends say the same thing. It even woke Garin up. It was so loud all night! There is a lot of yard cleanup to do!

A Wonderful Gift of Faith

My precious husband surprised me today with the most beautiful Mother's Day gift I could have imagined.

I am the one whose spiritual gifts survey listed Faith as her greatest spiritual gift, yet when my own faith is waning, my husband comes through with enough for both of us.

I casually mentioned to him at Christmas that I wanted a mother's pendant for Mother's Day. At the time, we expected that D & K would be here with us by now. As the months drag by with delay after delay, I sometimes forget the clear call of God in our lives and the many ways in which He's done the impossible to bring us to where we are now, and I allow myself to slip into moments of doubt. I've never doubted that He has called us to parent these two, but sometimes I doubt if it will ever happen. How dare I! Hasn't God brought me through greater difficulties than these?!

Karl will not be home for Mother's Day this year; he will be serving our country elsewhere. (We've actually only spent one Mother's Day together since our marriage.) Tonight, after dinner, he presented me with the beautiful necklace above. It was exactly what I had explained that I wanted months ago. He found a jeweler that would custom make a journey necklace with six stones rather than the usual seven and do it with birthstones (from the top: Garin, K, D, Matt, Karl, Me).

I am incredibly humbled by this gift....by the beauty and meaning of it, by the effort and thought that went into it, and by the love and faith that it represents. I can hardly wait to show our children what their Daddy did!

The Boy Loves the Slide!

The child has no fear, but by-golly he does not want to be dirty! (Note the way he stops frequently to wipe the dirt off of his shoes.)

Off to the Playground!

Casting Bread Upon the Waters...

...or as we called it: "feeding ducks." Truth be told, the ducks weren't very hungry, and Garin wasn't exactly aiming for them. I think the fish, however, were appreciative! At one point, the seagulls were circling and diving to grab the bread. (Although we are a mile or two inland, the gulls like to hang out about town and pick up crumbs during the daytime when folks are around with food. If you've ever been to the shore, you know that they are like ants at a picnic!)

Pickin' & Grinnin'

Garin and Daddy were having some musical fun tonight....

Sowing Seeds

Most days, Karl comes home to have lunch with us. Today was no exception. As usual, it was a free-for-all, assembly-line, hodge-podge sort of lunch. Garin's meal was heated first, followed by Karl's, then mine, and we all sat down to eat.

Our custom is to hold hands around the table while we thank God for His blessings. Since Garin was old enough to sit in a high chair, our hand are always extended toward him as an invitation to join us. We have never forced him to hold hands. At his young age, it was impossible to explain the reasons, and it was not something we wanted to become a battle. Just as Christ extends His invitation to us, and we must choose whether or not to accept it, we have invited Garin to join the family in prayer and hoped he choose to do so. At times, he would grab a finger for a moment or two.

Today, something beautiful happened. Garin was in his booster seat, and Karl and I sat down. Before we had a chance to reach across the table and join hands, Garin extended both arms, hands opened to grasp ours, and said, "Okay?" We joyfully took his outstretched hands, and as Karl began to pray, Garin began to pray with him. Only our Heavenly Father knows what he said; it was in his own language. But to peek over and see that sweet little head bowed, eyes closed, praying to our Lord, was an indescribable gift and one I will always treasure.

Feliz Cumpleanos a Mi!

Today is my birthday......

I received my parents' birthday card a week ago and have kept it unopened on the kitchen island for seven days. It has been a constant reminder of the love that brought me into this world and the joy that these two people share on "my" special day.

Finally, this morning, I got to open it! My mom said that my sister and I are "all a parent could ask for in a daughter." It's amazing, isn't it, how even as an adult approaching (or maybe in?) middle age, such words from parents are still so meaningful and important....probably even more than they were in childhood because we now know how easy it is to stumble, to fail and to disappoint. I still need to know that I am making them proud, just as I need to know more than ever before that God is pleased with who I am.

My dad made this statement in the card: "If it is true that life is an adventure, I submit that you have and are continuing to live." It struck me how very accurate that is! As I look back on the last 39 years (YIKES! 39??? REALLY???!!!), I can certainly describe them as an adventure.

I've moved around and had the privilege of living in several different places...some that were less than enjoyable, others that felt like home the moment I stepped on the ground. I have learned to be content wherever I am and to appreciate the good things, and I am thankful for that.

I have met some wonderful people and some very cruel ones. Each of them has taught me who I am and, more importantly, who my GOD is. I am privileged to have grown up in a family that pointed my way to Him. I was foolish to ignore His guidance and spend almost a decade of my life feeling worthless and hopeless because of one man's opinion of me. But, by God's strength - and ONLY His strength - I found a chance to really live again. I took with me a beautiful son who gave me a reason to go on and get out of bed in the morning. My Heavenly Father surrounded me with amazing brothers and sisters in Christ, who held me up when I couldn't do it on my own and who walked with me down the long and painful path of healing. And then I walked into praise team rehearsal to see a handsome new face at the keyboards....and the rest, as they say, is history!

God has blessed us with another precious son and with two other little ones whose faces we never had the joy of seeing and whose cries we've never heard, but whom we look forward to meeting one day at the greatest family reunion we can imagine!

And now, here we are, waiting for our two precious kids from Russia. Again, children whom we have never held, whose tears we've not had the privilege of drying. But they are in our hearts, and we long for the day we will be together. It is a God-led journey to them.

I have been reading the blogs of two amazing families who have lost babies recently and are suffering unspeakable grief as they seek to heal and lean into God's loving and capable arms for the strength to keep going. It brings so many painful emotions back to mind, but it is beautiful to remember and to hear their stories. Those times in my life when I felt most weak and broken were also the times when the presence of the Holy Spirit was heavy upon me, when I physically felt Him there, when I knew that I knew that I knew that my prayers were heard, that he felt my pain and that He was making something beautiful out of it all.

I still have so far to go, but I wouldn't trade a moment of this life because of what I have learned in it. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness. Thank you for taking my messes and turning them into blessings. Thank you for turning my pain into ministry. Thank you for teaching me to love myself and others the way you love us. Thank you for making me more like you....

Thrills & Spills

A word of warning: This video contains a couple of good spills that might cause grandparents to jump out of their skin slightly.

Garin has never fallen off the slide before...until today. Shortly afterward, he fell head first out of the tube. And of course I had to catch it all on video. In case you're wondering, my comment about needing a valium was a joke. I have never even seen a valium. I do believe, though, based on what I've seen in these first two years, that my adrenal glands may get a good workout over the next couple of decades! You will notice that wiping out doesn't deter the child a bit.

He Shoots - He Scores!

It's been a beautiful spring day here. After church, we had a quick lunch and went outside to play before putting Garin down for a late nap. Here is a peek at Garin engaged in his favorite sport. Yes, it's an over-three-minute peek. So maybe I lied, and I am going to bombard you with cute little videos, but I really am trying. I cut almost five minutes out of this one!

More Videos...

Okay, I know, I'm sorry....I promise I won't upload 50 boring new videos every day. I just can't stand not to show you how cute Garin is (even if he is in desperate need of a haircut). In the video of Karl, listen carefully for Garin's comments. Enjoy!

Whew!

Air Force life is nothing if not interesting! More on that in a moment...

Yesterday was a gorgeous day with highs in the upper 70's! When Garin napped, I got out and mowed and trimmed the yard. I also planted a couple of hanging baskets for the front porch. It was so nice to get outside and get dirty! After Karl got home and I got cleaned up, we drove south to Milford, where there is a wonderful store that sells all sorts of fresh seafood. One side of the building is a restaurant where you can get the most delicious seafood dinner you've ever had. It is a down-home, comfortable beach restaurant - no frills, but awesome food. You just can't get seafood like that in the middle of the country. YUMMY!!! I took a few photos of our yard last night, trying to capture the azaleas. The sun was too low to show their vibrancy, but here are a few of the pics anyway:

It was a great night out, and then we came home and plopped ourselves down on the couch. Just after 10 pm, the phone rang, and it was the pilot scheduler. He needed Karl to head up a very exciting and unusual mission, but they were to leave Sunday morning! Bummer for me, as he would miss my birthday Tuesday, as well as Mother's Day. I wasted no time making alternative plans, though, and had airline reservations on hold by morning. Garin and I were going to fly down to Texas to spend the week with family. By noon today, I had all the arrangements made, but I hadn't purchased the tickets yet (thankfully). Karl had been at work all morning doing mission planning and called after noon, sheepishly saying he had some news: his mission cancelled! So as it turns out, I am not going anywhere after all, but I do get to spend my birthday with my husband. Garin and I are going to plan a trip to Texas in a few weeks instead. I may make a run to Illinois soon too, as Matt is eager to see us, and we are also missing him an awful lot.

This afternoon has been fun too! I bought the new Flip Video Ultra!!! I have been wanting a teeny digital video camera, so I can document our lives and post video here for family and friends to enjoy. I was so excited to find one at Sam's this afternoon, and it was $25 cheaper than I've seen it anywhere else. Happy birthday to me!!!!! Here is my first video....nothing spectacular, but fun nonetheless...with an extremely handsome subject!