I spoke to our caseworker this morning and learned that our agency is having some issues getting cases registered for children who were hosted. They attempted registering two cases at the end of June, and they waited a long time for a response. The MOE has requested additional documents for those families before they can be registered and considered. This isn't great news. However, the fact that we follow them isn't a bad thing because our agency will know better what additional documentation will be necessary in our case, and hopefully we won't have to wait as long once our documents are submitted.
Please pray over this process...for all the waiting children in Russia and for the officials who are making decisions regarding their lives.
Please pray for our agency and specifically for our caseworker, Rebecca. She shared with me today that their agency is "streamlining." The economy is affecting even adoption agencies. The caseworkers are dealing with the same workload, but their hours have been cut in half. This makes for a stressful work environment and unhappy clients across the board. We pray that God will give them the energy to accomplish what must be done and will protect their hearts from bitterness, discouragement and disillusionment. We pray that they will continue to see great rewards in what they are doing.
Please pray also for patience in the waiting and protection from doubt and discouragement. We know that God brought us down this path with a purpose. His hand has been evident in miraculous ways throughout. We know that He has turned our hearts to these children, and we are committed to follow Him. If these are our kids, He will make it happen. If not, He is preparing us for something else in the future. I am at peace with this, but I still really want to bring these kids home!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
"...as you love yourself."
***This blog did not go where I intended when I started. I thought it was going to be a run-down of our weekend activities. Funny how, when God starts talking, you find yourself on a road that wasn't even on the map. And when He says, "Okay, that's all for now," that road feels as familiar as the path that leads home.
So what happens when you find a great 75%-off sale on outdoor furniture and buy that dining set of your dreams that you've waited years to buy???
Why, it falls off the truck in the middle of the highway, of course! Narrowly missing the long line of cars behind you, the two huge boxes block two lanes of traffic, while you, in your grungy, scrubbing-all-day t-shirt, shorts and rubber flip-flops, frantically run into the busy street trying to drag them out of the way for the temporarily patient drivers who are waiting.
Now, change every "you" in the above paragraphs to "I," and you have a brief synopsis of my horrifying afternoon yesterday! The five minutes that felt like five hours.
But let's look at the bright side: Somehow (miraculously), it didn't hit the cars behind me. Somehow, it survived with very minor damage. Somehow, I got it loaded back in the truck and made it home. And somehow (this is a biggie), I came out of it NOT feeling like an idiot who had made a fool of herself and feeling more like someone who'd had a bit of unfortunate trouble, resolved her problem without tears or complete panic, and managed to move along with her day without beating herself up and being embarrassed all weekend. Did I mention that this is a biggie? Could it be that perhaps it is sinking in? Maybe I'm really starting to get it as God continues to impress upon me that He doesn't see me the way I see myself, as He's teaching me to love myself as I love others.
I realize that I have this backwards. In Matthew 19:19, Jesus tells us to love others as we love ourselves. It's a good lesson on valuing other people. But for me, He has been turning it around lately, showing me that I have to give myself a break now and then. I've found it easy to love others in this life, but I cannot love others well if I cannot love myself well. This is not a license for self-indulgence or selfishness, nor is it about "self-esteem." This is about "God-esteem," about seeing myself as a valuable, beautiful creation of God, created in His image. It is freedom from the struggle to measure up to the expectations of others. It is freedom to be who God has called me to be without apology. It is the freedom to be comfortable in my own skin, the skin He Himself wrapped around my flesh...freckles and all, it is His artwork. It is the ability to accept His forgiveness and step away from my failures rather than tossing them into that burdensome sack I so often try to carry along with me.
I believe that many of us need to reverse the verse, so to speak. We tend to think of sinful selfishness as the result of an over-inflated ego, a sense of entitlement or an attitude of superiority. But when Satan succeeds at making us feel unattractive, unworthy, somehow less than we really are, we also succumb to selfishness of another kind. We take valuable time, talent, energy, money, __________ (Fill in your own blank here; the list could be endless.) that belongs to God. Instead we waste it worrying what others think of us, constantly striving to improve our appearances, trying to figure out what makes a person a "success" in this world and struggling to fit that image. It may be about appearance. It might be career or finances. It might be personality-type or social prowess. For some (myself included), it is often a crazy combination. Imagine allowing Christ to free us of all of those image issues! Imagine the joy of living the lives God created us to live and embracing the fact that it would look different for each of us! Imagine what we could really do for Him and for others if we cast off the selfishness of self-loathing and saw ourselves through the eyes of the One Who created us in His image!
And, perhaps a more exciting prospect for me: Imagine leaving a legacy of a God-image in our children! If my children hear me complain about my appearance, or even if I silently live a life of shame and dissatisfaction, they will learn what I model. It breaks my heart to think of passing such a burden to my children. I am choosing to allow my Heavenly Father to take my poor self-image and replace it with His God-image. It may not happen overnight, but it's a journey well worth taking, and it's a journey that will hopefully allow me to leave some substantial footprints....the footprints of Jesus...when I go Home.
So what happens when you find a great 75%-off sale on outdoor furniture and buy that dining set of your dreams that you've waited years to buy???
Why, it falls off the truck in the middle of the highway, of course! Narrowly missing the long line of cars behind you, the two huge boxes block two lanes of traffic, while you, in your grungy, scrubbing-all-day t-shirt, shorts and rubber flip-flops, frantically run into the busy street trying to drag them out of the way for the temporarily patient drivers who are waiting.
Now, change every "you" in the above paragraphs to "I," and you have a brief synopsis of my horrifying afternoon yesterday! The five minutes that felt like five hours.
But let's look at the bright side: Somehow (miraculously), it didn't hit the cars behind me. Somehow, it survived with very minor damage. Somehow, I got it loaded back in the truck and made it home. And somehow (this is a biggie), I came out of it NOT feeling like an idiot who had made a fool of herself and feeling more like someone who'd had a bit of unfortunate trouble, resolved her problem without tears or complete panic, and managed to move along with her day without beating herself up and being embarrassed all weekend. Did I mention that this is a biggie? Could it be that perhaps it is sinking in? Maybe I'm really starting to get it as God continues to impress upon me that He doesn't see me the way I see myself, as He's teaching me to love myself as I love others.
I realize that I have this backwards. In Matthew 19:19, Jesus tells us to love others as we love ourselves. It's a good lesson on valuing other people. But for me, He has been turning it around lately, showing me that I have to give myself a break now and then. I've found it easy to love others in this life, but I cannot love others well if I cannot love myself well. This is not a license for self-indulgence or selfishness, nor is it about "self-esteem." This is about "God-esteem," about seeing myself as a valuable, beautiful creation of God, created in His image. It is freedom from the struggle to measure up to the expectations of others. It is freedom to be who God has called me to be without apology. It is the freedom to be comfortable in my own skin, the skin He Himself wrapped around my flesh...freckles and all, it is His artwork. It is the ability to accept His forgiveness and step away from my failures rather than tossing them into that burdensome sack I so often try to carry along with me.
I believe that many of us need to reverse the verse, so to speak. We tend to think of sinful selfishness as the result of an over-inflated ego, a sense of entitlement or an attitude of superiority. But when Satan succeeds at making us feel unattractive, unworthy, somehow less than we really are, we also succumb to selfishness of another kind. We take valuable time, talent, energy, money, __________ (Fill in your own blank here; the list could be endless.) that belongs to God. Instead we waste it worrying what others think of us, constantly striving to improve our appearances, trying to figure out what makes a person a "success" in this world and struggling to fit that image. It may be about appearance. It might be career or finances. It might be personality-type or social prowess. For some (myself included), it is often a crazy combination. Imagine allowing Christ to free us of all of those image issues! Imagine the joy of living the lives God created us to live and embracing the fact that it would look different for each of us! Imagine what we could really do for Him and for others if we cast off the selfishness of self-loathing and saw ourselves through the eyes of the One Who created us in His image!
And, perhaps a more exciting prospect for me: Imagine leaving a legacy of a God-image in our children! If my children hear me complain about my appearance, or even if I silently live a life of shame and dissatisfaction, they will learn what I model. It breaks my heart to think of passing such a burden to my children. I am choosing to allow my Heavenly Father to take my poor self-image and replace it with His God-image. It may not happen overnight, but it's a journey well worth taking, and it's a journey that will hopefully allow me to leave some substantial footprints....the footprints of Jesus...when I go Home.
His Royal Highness....
What do three bored fellas do during a Sunday afternoon thunderstorm???
They get out the Toobers and Zots, crown themselves kings, declare themselves knights, pretend to be dragon-cat, head to the opera and have a blast until the king's naptime!
They get out the Toobers and Zots, crown themselves kings, declare themselves knights, pretend to be dragon-cat, head to the opera and have a blast until the king's naptime!
"I crown thee King Garin." 
Sir Matthew taking on the dragon.
His Majesty 
Now off to the opera....
Mom is just enjoying the thunder and the pleasure of a lazy Sunday afternoon with almost all of her boys. We're hoping Daddy gets home from his mission soon!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
HOPE FLOATS
I'm not a fan of living in the past. I tend to think it's better to leave it there, with the exception of some very special and meaningful moments. But sometimes it's good to take a trip back and remember where you've been and realize how far you've come. Ten years ago this month, I suddenly found myself starting over in a new life I didn't recognize. My marriage was ending...it was all over but the paperwork. Matt was at his dad's house, and I was spending a lonely Sunday afternoon by myself for the first time in years. How did I cope? I went to the movies alone, another first for me, and saw "Hope Floats."
Early in the movie, Birdee Calvert headed home to Texas from Illinois (I am a Texas girl who was living in Illinois at the time.), and as she crossed the Texas state line and drove past pine trees and longhorn cattle, my tears and longing took over. It was a perfect movie for me that day, and I discovered the pleasure of sobbing in front of the big screen with only a soda and popcorn and to learn that I enjoyed being in a theatre by myself.
The movie ended with these words: "That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will... "
And suddenly I felt like there was a future out there for me. I forgot that moment innumerable times before the future found me, but there were many reminders along the way. Tonight, as Matt and I watched "Hope Floats" again, many of those old emotions resurfaced as I recalled how I'd felt that day, but the reality of how much my life has changed and how God has blessed me in these last ten years is truly overwhelming. If ever God's grace, mercy and provision is evident, it is in these last ten years of my life. For that I am incredibly thankful.
This has been a day of laughter. From this morning, when Garin in his jammies and Matt in his boxers were dancing in the playroom while playing cymbals and maracas (how I wish I'd had the camera handy) to this afternoon, when they were playing a new version of "Where'd he go?" that looked like an old movie. Do you remember the scenes where people are going in and out of the same room(s) and barely missing each other, each unaware that the other is there? Well, check out the video below, and you'll see what I mean.
Early in the movie, Birdee Calvert headed home to Texas from Illinois (I am a Texas girl who was living in Illinois at the time.), and as she crossed the Texas state line and drove past pine trees and longhorn cattle, my tears and longing took over. It was a perfect movie for me that day, and I discovered the pleasure of sobbing in front of the big screen with only a soda and popcorn and to learn that I enjoyed being in a theatre by myself.
The movie ended with these words: "That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will... "
And suddenly I felt like there was a future out there for me. I forgot that moment innumerable times before the future found me, but there were many reminders along the way. Tonight, as Matt and I watched "Hope Floats" again, many of those old emotions resurfaced as I recalled how I'd felt that day, but the reality of how much my life has changed and how God has blessed me in these last ten years is truly overwhelming. If ever God's grace, mercy and provision is evident, it is in these last ten years of my life. For that I am incredibly thankful.
This has been a day of laughter. From this morning, when Garin in his jammies and Matt in his boxers were dancing in the playroom while playing cymbals and maracas (how I wish I'd had the camera handy) to this afternoon, when they were playing a new version of "Where'd he go?" that looked like an old movie. Do you remember the scenes where people are going in and out of the same room(s) and barely missing each other, each unaware that the other is there? Well, check out the video below, and you'll see what I mean.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Adoption Talk and Potty (Non-) Training
I didn't get a response or the promised call from our caseworker this week (collective gasp or sigh would be appropriate here, except that we've all come to expect this, haven't we?). I did hear from our home study caseworker, however, who had been told that our dossier would not be registered in Russia this month after all. The St. Petersburg Adoption Committee is relocating offices, thus the delay. It was good to know. We have no doubt that the agency is working on our behalf; however, our caseworker's lack of communication is a real problem. As of today, we have not heard from her in 18 days, and as far as she knows, we still believe we are being registered, but she didn't bother to contact me this week as promised. If we thought she didn't care about our case, we would ask for a new caseworker, but she is very familiar with us and seems to really want to bring our kids home. So we continue to wait for calls that don't come and emails that aren't answered.
In happier news, our home study caseworker is expecting twins soon!!! We haven't seen her since we completed our home study last year...yes, last year, ugh...and were quite surprised by the news. We are so excited for her, as they had struggled with infertility issues and miscarriages too and were about ready to give up on more bio kids. Guess I need to get to work on a couple of quilts! And that leads me to wonder when I will ever get to make a pink quilt. Our friends and family keep having boys! But who am I to talk??? I am the only estrogen producer in this house, at least until K arrives.
Yesterday was an interesting one with Garin. At two and a half, we realize that potty training is looming on the horizon. He loves to go in the bathroom with us and "help" by supervising, unrolling and tearing off toilet paper, flushing and waving bye-bye to whatever we've deposited in there. He is just beginning to understand the process, but he has not showed much interest in sitting there himself. He seems to feel it is just wasting his time to sit anywhere, much less there.
So lately Garin has been removing his diapers at naptime and in the mornings before we come get him from his room. Then suddenly yesterday he took his diaper off five different times and kept running around bare-bottomed. I couldn't keep it on him, so we started thinking it was potty-training time. Big mistake. Garin's idea of potty training is picking something interesting and then aiming at it. He went in corners, on the carpet and even hosed down his bowling pins! Matt and I had a long, hearty laugh over that one!!! We got some pull-ups and are hoping they'll stay on better until he is willing to put a little effort into potty training! Matt trained later and in about a week, so this is quite new to me. And the fact that it's been fourteen years since then doesn't help either! Any suggestions are appreciated; I am acutely aware that it won't be long now.
Matt, Karl and I relaxed last night (after Garin's bedtime) with Haagen-Dazs, Ben & Jerry's and Shrek 3. 'Twas a lovely, relaxing evening! Next week, we'll get the awesome sitter (see previous blog entry) if she's available, and Matt and I are going to spend a day, just the two of us, at the outlet malls and the beach.
It looks like Karl's schedule is about to go crazy. He is scheduled for a mission this week, and this week is also the big inspection for which he's been in charge of preparation since he got home from his deployment last fall. Following the inspection, he'll be due for a new desk job. He has some ideas about what that will be, but nothing is decided yet. We'll let you know when he gets a new title. He's also scheduled for Instructor Pilot training this fall. He was an instructor before but has to requalify since he's flying a different jet now. Also, some have been asking about his promotion. After looking at the monthly promotion increments for his promotion group, we are fairly certain he'll pin on Major in January.
We're headed out in a few minutes to grab a meal out (woohoo!) and go play at the park for awhile. I've been shackled to the stove the last few days, so it will be nice to eat out! ;o) And believe it or not, there are no picnics, no VBS kick-off, no responsibilities this weekend other than family, so we intend to enjoy being together.
My blog friend, Amy, and her hubby are headed to Russia today to meet "Boo" and "Hoo", their third and fourth children (all from Russia). Keep them in your prayers!
Also, my AF friend (the one who is adopting #4 from China right now) has asked for prayer for her father, who is having a triple bypass on Tuesday.
Thanks for being such faithful prayer warriors!!!
Have a great weekend!
In happier news, our home study caseworker is expecting twins soon!!! We haven't seen her since we completed our home study last year...yes, last year, ugh...and were quite surprised by the news. We are so excited for her, as they had struggled with infertility issues and miscarriages too and were about ready to give up on more bio kids. Guess I need to get to work on a couple of quilts! And that leads me to wonder when I will ever get to make a pink quilt. Our friends and family keep having boys! But who am I to talk??? I am the only estrogen producer in this house, at least until K arrives.
Yesterday was an interesting one with Garin. At two and a half, we realize that potty training is looming on the horizon. He loves to go in the bathroom with us and "help" by supervising, unrolling and tearing off toilet paper, flushing and waving bye-bye to whatever we've deposited in there. He is just beginning to understand the process, but he has not showed much interest in sitting there himself. He seems to feel it is just wasting his time to sit anywhere, much less there.
So lately Garin has been removing his diapers at naptime and in the mornings before we come get him from his room. Then suddenly yesterday he took his diaper off five different times and kept running around bare-bottomed. I couldn't keep it on him, so we started thinking it was potty-training time. Big mistake. Garin's idea of potty training is picking something interesting and then aiming at it. He went in corners, on the carpet and even hosed down his bowling pins! Matt and I had a long, hearty laugh over that one!!! We got some pull-ups and are hoping they'll stay on better until he is willing to put a little effort into potty training! Matt trained later and in about a week, so this is quite new to me. And the fact that it's been fourteen years since then doesn't help either! Any suggestions are appreciated; I am acutely aware that it won't be long now.
Matt, Karl and I relaxed last night (after Garin's bedtime) with Haagen-Dazs, Ben & Jerry's and Shrek 3. 'Twas a lovely, relaxing evening! Next week, we'll get the awesome sitter (see previous blog entry) if she's available, and Matt and I are going to spend a day, just the two of us, at the outlet malls and the beach.
It looks like Karl's schedule is about to go crazy. He is scheduled for a mission this week, and this week is also the big inspection for which he's been in charge of preparation since he got home from his deployment last fall. Following the inspection, he'll be due for a new desk job. He has some ideas about what that will be, but nothing is decided yet. We'll let you know when he gets a new title. He's also scheduled for Instructor Pilot training this fall. He was an instructor before but has to requalify since he's flying a different jet now. Also, some have been asking about his promotion. After looking at the monthly promotion increments for his promotion group, we are fairly certain he'll pin on Major in January.
We're headed out in a few minutes to grab a meal out (woohoo!) and go play at the park for awhile. I've been shackled to the stove the last few days, so it will be nice to eat out! ;o) And believe it or not, there are no picnics, no VBS kick-off, no responsibilities this weekend other than family, so we intend to enjoy being together.
My blog friend, Amy, and her hubby are headed to Russia today to meet "Boo" and "Hoo", their third and fourth children (all from Russia). Keep them in your prayers!
Also, my AF friend (the one who is adopting #4 from China right now) has asked for prayer for her father, who is having a triple bypass on Tuesday.
Thanks for being such faithful prayer warriors!!!
Have a great weekend!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Get a Load of This!
Garin decided this evening that he can step right off the couch. The amazing thing about it is that he actually can! I had to put the brakes on his standing on the arm of the couch, though. He seemed to think that was perfectly safe too.
(The black blob of fur on the back of the couch is Matt's old Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde wig from several Halloweens ago. Seems Garin has found yet another Halloween costume he loves to play with.)
Baby's First Sushi
There is a great little sushi kiosk at the base commissary where they do made-do-order fresh sushi. In this family of sushi lovers, Garin was bound to want in on the action eventually. Although he had a burger, he wanted ours. Fortunately, I had cream cheese roll today, which has imitation crab and no raw fish, so I was able to share. HE LOVED IT! He ate it all, even the seaweed and cucumber. So proud of my healthy little man!
Spiritual Moments
Good morning, All! It's been a great (and busy) couple of days for us. Tuesday night turned out to be all we had hoped and more! The babysitter my friend recommended was AMAZING. She is so sweet with Garin. She is a lovely Christian young woman. AND she not only cleaned up after herself, but she loaded their dinner dishes into the almost-full dishwasher, ran the cycle and put away the dishes!!! Oh, she'll DEFINITELY be back!!!!! I haven't had a tidy babysitter in a long time....
But on to our evening...We had no major traffic issues and got to the theatre at 6:30, so we picked up our will-call tickets early (smart move, as the line was out the door later) and walked a couple of blocks looking for a restaurant. We happened upon a neat little place called the Marathon Grill. It had a loft atmosphere, very chic, but it was very reasonable. They had a phenomenal (no exaggeration) menu, and we had a delicious dinner before heading back to the theatre. We had great seats for the show, but after seeing the layout, I'm not sure there are any truly bad seats in the building. The show was wonderful! I never cease to be amazed at how well the writer expresses the power and beauty of God's grace and mercy for those who will accept it and the peril for those who insist on living under the weight of the Law! All of the actors were good. I wasn't terribly impressed by Fontine (but how could I be after seeing Lea Salonga in the role?!) and Javert, but they weren't bad. Jean Valjean was excellent. Only one disappoint there: he didn't sing "Bring Him Home" as powerfully as I'd have liked. But Cosette was wonderful, and Eponine was incredible. It was a very, very good performance, and I'd highly recommend it to anyone!
Yesterday, we were all tired, so there wasn't much going on except for my voice lesson. We did grill some brats and corn, warm some sauerkraut and have a delicious dinner before going to church. It was the last gathering of our Southern Campus Launch Team before we begin worship at the Dover Sheraton on September 7th. As it turned out, it wasn't a meeting at all, but a very moving individual experience with God that had been set up in the sanctuary. A large shape of the cross was taped on the floor, with a pathway taped around it. Along the walkway around the cross, there were interactive stations where we were to stop and spend intentional time listening to God. We were guided by instructions at each station. One by one, we entered and were greeted and instructed. At the first station, we heard the Scripture about the Moses and the burning bush. The other stations were these:
Noise (eliminating life's noise to hear God's voice)
Worry (we were provided with a stone to 'hold' our worries, which we cast into a pool of water)
Hurts (we were to draw or write about how we had been hurt and how we had hurt others and then throw them away)
Image (we had to sit before a mirror and read the verses about being created in God's image and being fearfully and wonderfully made and then look at ourselves with the intention of seeing what God sees rather than our flaws) -This was hard for me. I realized that when I think of these verses, I think of my children (or other people). It is very easy to see the God in others, not so easy in me. I began to think of my children and how I see them with such love that I don't see their mistakes or their sinful nature when I look at them. And then I realized that, as God's child, I am seen with an even greater love through His eyes.
Others (we had a chance to think about our relationships and to light a candle and pray for them) - This was very moving for me also.
Impression (we sat before a box of sand and made an impression of our hand, while thinking about the impression that we will leave on this world when we're gone and what kind of impression we want that to be) -Interestingly, for me, I didn't like the impression my hand made. I looked at it for a minute or two and thought about how I also don't like part of the impression I have left on this world. Then the Holy Spirit gently reminded me that because of what Jesus did for me at the cross, I am not bound by past mistakes or sins and that I don't have the right to carry them with me after He has forgiven me. So I bent over, smoothed the sand and made a new handprint. I liked it better....and I like ME better.
Holy Place was a station at the center of the cross where the communion table was set for us to share with Him. It was a place to read His word, talk with Him and share in his last supper.
Finally, we left with some verses about peace. I believe it was from John (maybe?) Sadly, I don't remember exactly. My thoughts were still on earlier stations. It was a special night.
But on to our evening...We had no major traffic issues and got to the theatre at 6:30, so we picked up our will-call tickets early (smart move, as the line was out the door later) and walked a couple of blocks looking for a restaurant. We happened upon a neat little place called the Marathon Grill. It had a loft atmosphere, very chic, but it was very reasonable. They had a phenomenal (no exaggeration) menu, and we had a delicious dinner before heading back to the theatre. We had great seats for the show, but after seeing the layout, I'm not sure there are any truly bad seats in the building. The show was wonderful! I never cease to be amazed at how well the writer expresses the power and beauty of God's grace and mercy for those who will accept it and the peril for those who insist on living under the weight of the Law! All of the actors were good. I wasn't terribly impressed by Fontine (but how could I be after seeing Lea Salonga in the role?!) and Javert, but they weren't bad. Jean Valjean was excellent. Only one disappoint there: he didn't sing "Bring Him Home" as powerfully as I'd have liked. But Cosette was wonderful, and Eponine was incredible. It was a very, very good performance, and I'd highly recommend it to anyone!
Yesterday, we were all tired, so there wasn't much going on except for my voice lesson. We did grill some brats and corn, warm some sauerkraut and have a delicious dinner before going to church. It was the last gathering of our Southern Campus Launch Team before we begin worship at the Dover Sheraton on September 7th. As it turned out, it wasn't a meeting at all, but a very moving individual experience with God that had been set up in the sanctuary. A large shape of the cross was taped on the floor, with a pathway taped around it. Along the walkway around the cross, there were interactive stations where we were to stop and spend intentional time listening to God. We were guided by instructions at each station. One by one, we entered and were greeted and instructed. At the first station, we heard the Scripture about the Moses and the burning bush. The other stations were these:
Noise (eliminating life's noise to hear God's voice)
Worry (we were provided with a stone to 'hold' our worries, which we cast into a pool of water)
Hurts (we were to draw or write about how we had been hurt and how we had hurt others and then throw them away)
Image (we had to sit before a mirror and read the verses about being created in God's image and being fearfully and wonderfully made and then look at ourselves with the intention of seeing what God sees rather than our flaws) -This was hard for me. I realized that when I think of these verses, I think of my children (or other people). It is very easy to see the God in others, not so easy in me. I began to think of my children and how I see them with such love that I don't see their mistakes or their sinful nature when I look at them. And then I realized that, as God's child, I am seen with an even greater love through His eyes.
Others (we had a chance to think about our relationships and to light a candle and pray for them) - This was very moving for me also.
Impression (we sat before a box of sand and made an impression of our hand, while thinking about the impression that we will leave on this world when we're gone and what kind of impression we want that to be) -Interestingly, for me, I didn't like the impression my hand made. I looked at it for a minute or two and thought about how I also don't like part of the impression I have left on this world. Then the Holy Spirit gently reminded me that because of what Jesus did for me at the cross, I am not bound by past mistakes or sins and that I don't have the right to carry them with me after He has forgiven me. So I bent over, smoothed the sand and made a new handprint. I liked it better....and I like ME better.
Holy Place was a station at the center of the cross where the communion table was set for us to share with Him. It was a place to read His word, talk with Him and share in his last supper.
Finally, we left with some verses about peace. I believe it was from John (maybe?) Sadly, I don't remember exactly. My thoughts were still on earlier stations. It was a special night.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Productivity...
Basically, what you see here are the most exciting moments of our day yesterday. I know, it's sad, but it was quite wonderful to be homebodies all day. I did manage to get four loads of laundry done, at least. We had chicken enchiladas and fruit salad for supper and then had a late night of Wii Sports (which is what kept me from posting this video last night). At some point after midnight, the three big kids (Karl, Matt and me) began brainstorming about what to do today. When we finally went to bed after 1:00 am, we were the proud owners of three tickets in the orchestra section of Walnut Street Theatre in Philadelphia (the oldest theatre in the U.S.!) for tonight's performance of Les Miserables!!!!! They were purchased in faith that we would be able to get an experienced babysitter this morning (I want someone with maturity when I will be that far from home.), and thankfully we did: a sweet girl who is home from college for the summer and comes highly recommended by another Air Force family. I was surprised when I mentioned the idea that Matt was very enthusiastic about it, as was Karl. I saw it on Broadway last year, but neither of them has seen it live before. I hope it will meet their expectations. I am guaranteed at least four good cries (maybe more if I'm particularly emotional tonight), so I will tote some Kleenex with me. I feel quite certain that my hubby may need them too.....
Monday, July 14, 2008
Not a Word
It is our assumption that there was no progress with the adoption today, as it is now after business hours, and we still have no word from our agency. We had dared to hope (only a wee bit) that maybe they would be registering our dossier today, but I would imagine that we would have been notified today if that had, in fact, actually happened.
I have spent much of the day with D & K in my thoughts and have dedicated a great deal of time to prayer on their behalf. We are not upset, just eager for some good news. We have learned in the last 15 months that there is no point in getting excited about any sort of schedule or timeline that we are told "might be." But I do feel almost guilty each time I have to report bad news or no news when I know that so many of you are on this emotional roller coaster with us and are also praying. We must always keep in mind that, as hard as it is to understand and although we cannot now see it, God has a purpose in the waiting. Like so many things in life, we will look back someday and be amazed by the intricate perfection of it all and give thanks that He worked it out just as He did. We wait on Him with Hope!
I have some funny video (yes, moooore video) from this afternoon that I will post after Garin goes to bed tonight!
I have spent much of the day with D & K in my thoughts and have dedicated a great deal of time to prayer on their behalf. We are not upset, just eager for some good news. We have learned in the last 15 months that there is no point in getting excited about any sort of schedule or timeline that we are told "might be." But I do feel almost guilty each time I have to report bad news or no news when I know that so many of you are on this emotional roller coaster with us and are also praying. We must always keep in mind that, as hard as it is to understand and although we cannot now see it, God has a purpose in the waiting. Like so many things in life, we will look back someday and be amazed by the intricate perfection of it all and give thanks that He worked it out just as He did. We wait on Him with Hope!
I have some funny video (yes, moooore video) from this afternoon that I will post after Garin goes to bed tonight!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Here's a little video of our church picnic this afternoon. Garin was sound asleep in my lap, hugging his ball. He had all he could take at that point. He did rally later, though, and spend some time in the bouncy castle. We have such a great church family, and we really enjoyed the afternoon, but we were certainly tired when we got home.
Note to self-respecting women everywhere: If you ever wear an above-the-knee-length housedress (let's face it - never a great idea anyway), under no circumstances should you plop down in an adirondack chair on the front lawn, facing traffic, and wave your legs open and shut in order to "fan" your nether regions! This should be a no-brainer, but we got quite a show today in downtown Camden on our way home from dropping Evan off, and it was NOT pretty.
Belated Sweet (?) Sixteen
Saturday was set aside as Matt's pretend birthday, since he wasn't here for the real one last month. I made omelets at his request, and I am pleased to say that they met with huge compliments from my "birthday boy," which thrilled my soul. In the afternoon, we went bowling, the boys spent a few minutes in the play area at the lanes, and then we went out for some fresh seafood...YUM! When we got home, we enjoyed in ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins. Here are some highlights. I think Garin has watched us play Wii bowling too much, as evidenced by the way he raises his arms and says "yesss!" every time he rolls the ball.
My apologies for the cleavage shots. This is what happens when my husband mans the camera. ;0)
My apologies for the cleavage shots. This is what happens when my husband mans the camera. ;0)
Beach Boys
Matt, Evan, Garin and I had a great time at the beach Friday. The weather was perfect, and the breeze off the ocean felt nice. As you can see, the boys had a great time digging, boogie boarding (not very successfully, as the waves were breaking too close to shore), doing cartwheels (of all things) while Garin did somersaults, and playing with a huge piece of wood that washed up. Garin also engaged in his favorite beach activity, eating sand.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Step Back, Jonas Brothers...
....There's a new band in town!
This was the scene in our living room this afternoon. Matt set up for some Rock Band on the Wii, and Garin HAD TO join in! As you can see in the video, the G-man is the lead singer and (left-handed) acoustic guitar. Big Bro backs him up on drums. Don't miss Garin's vocals mid-way through and his rapid-fire bowing after the song!
For some reason, Garin has insisted on playing his guitar left-handed since he got it on Christmas morning. We've tried to help him turn it around, but he doesn't like it. I guess it's just more comfortable this way. At this point, it's a no-brainer as to whether or not he'll play guitar when he's older. The only question is "Will he keep playing as a leftie?"
Matt felt that my filming was a major distraction, but he got his best score yet on that song. He's just going to have to get used to having an audience.
We've had a good week. Everything revolves around Vacation Bible School, but tonight is the last night. Because church is so far from home, meaning we have to leave about 5:00 to pick up Evan and get there, our normal schedule is topsy-turvy. We eat dinner at 4:30 and rush off, leaving Garin and Daddy here. Matt's getting lots of great driving practice! I've greatly enjoyed the VBS kids (and workers), and I'm so glad we did this, but I am ready for an evening at home with the family. Fortunately, Karl is taking a few days off next week, so we can just have some fun time together. Friday, I am making dinner for some friends who just had twin boys (their first, God bless 'em), and we are going to the home of some church friends for a small, casual dinner gathering tomorrow night. Saturday is Matt's alternate birthday. Since he was in IL on his special day, we let him pick his official birthday date for celebrating. We'll let him pick our daytime activities (still pending), and he wants to go to Medding's, an INCREDIBLE little fresh seafood restaurant on the way to the beach, followed by cake, of course! Sunday is our church picnic, which we're also looking forward to.
No news on the adoption front yet. I don't expect, in this case, that no news is good news, but let's not lose hope! I'll let you all know as soon as we hear anything. Keep praying!
Monday, July 07, 2008
I AM HAPPY
I just wanted to put that out there. I love standing at the back of the worship center during Vacation Bible School watching a roomful of children sing and dance for Jesus! I love spending time with friends, new and old, and feeling like they actually enjoy my company and are happy I'm there. I love when I take the time to look for the good in people even though it's much easier sometimes to find something not to like. I love when my husband comes home for lunch just to be with us, and I love it when he can't come home for lunch and calls three times because he misses that time with us. I love when my little one runs into my arms first thing in the morning like I'm the most wonderful sight he's ever laid eyes on, in spite of my crazy hair and the new zit shining on my forehead. I love sitting in the passenger seat, trying to act cool and unruffled, while my son chauffeurs me around town. I love when his friend gets out of the car, and he reaches over to quickly grab my hand and whisper, "I love you, Mom."
Maybe everything isn't perfect, and maybe I'm still waiting for some pretty big prayers to be answered, but life is good!
Maybe everything isn't perfect, and maybe I'm still waiting for some pretty big prayers to be answered, but life is good!
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Rippin' Rocket Roller Coaster
Well, after five years (of partial construction followed by deconstruction necessitated by a move) and endless hours of labor, the Rippin' Rocket Roller Coaster finally reached completion!
We had a great morning at church! Matt's childhood friend, Evan, went with us. In one of those crazy, it's-a-small-world turn of events, Evan (whom we knew in Illinois as a kindergartner) had grandparents here in Dover, and he's here visiting them for a couple of weeks. We're enjoying some time with him while he's here, and he and Matt are enjoying it. This week is Vacation Bible School at our church, and both boys are helping with recreation. It will be so much fun!
We stopped for lunch after church, and as soon as we got home, Karl and Matt retreated to the basement while I (once again) folded laundry and tried to organize Matt's room a tad, as it's already getting out of control.
Below is a video of the fruits of their labor. Pretty cool, if you ask me!
We had a great morning at church! Matt's childhood friend, Evan, went with us. In one of those crazy, it's-a-small-world turn of events, Evan (whom we knew in Illinois as a kindergartner) had grandparents here in Dover, and he's here visiting them for a couple of weeks. We're enjoying some time with him while he's here, and he and Matt are enjoying it. This week is Vacation Bible School at our church, and both boys are helping with recreation. It will be so much fun!
We stopped for lunch after church, and as soon as we got home, Karl and Matt retreated to the basement while I (once again) folded laundry and tried to organize Matt's room a tad, as it's already getting out of control.
Below is a video of the fruits of their labor. Pretty cool, if you ask me!
Saturday, July 05, 2008
P.S.
I just logged onto Facebook and saw that my 16-year-old son ranked me as bravest and most trustworthy in comparison to his other Facebook friends.
High praise, folks.....humbling.....incredibly moving.....really something....*sniff*
Come to think of it, I don't mind being invisible sometimes after all. I am loved (and trusted!), and that is more than enough for this mom.
High praise, folks.....humbling.....incredibly moving.....really something....*sniff*
Come to think of it, I don't mind being invisible sometimes after all. I am loved (and trusted!), and that is more than enough for this mom.
HUGE Scientific Discovery!!!
I think I could be rich...famous..find my own place in the history books! If only someone would listen......
For all of you who would like to be a superhero, I know the secret of invisibility! It is quite simple really. I have discovered today that, in the absence of "The Big T" (as my cousin calls it), a person becomes immediately invisible. Not only that, people can no longer hear them at all. It is the secret to being the proverbial fly-on-the-wall. That's right, folks, testosterone is the key. If you don't have it, you can do anything or say anything you want, and (assuming you're the only estrogen-producing homosapien in the room) no one is the wiser.
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I went to the basement to spend some time with my "big T"-laden spouse and offspring while they put together a K-nex roller coaster set that has spent most of the last five years in a box. I managed to have an entire conversation with myself, fold all the laundry and disappear to the computer without being detected. Amazing, isn't it?!?!
I'm sure I could get rich from this discovery.....if only someone would listen....
For all of you who would like to be a superhero, I know the secret of invisibility! It is quite simple really. I have discovered today that, in the absence of "The Big T" (as my cousin calls it), a person becomes immediately invisible. Not only that, people can no longer hear them at all. It is the secret to being the proverbial fly-on-the-wall. That's right, folks, testosterone is the key. If you don't have it, you can do anything or say anything you want, and (assuming you're the only estrogen-producing homosapien in the room) no one is the wiser.
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I went to the basement to spend some time with my "big T"-laden spouse and offspring while they put together a K-nex roller coaster set that has spent most of the last five years in a box. I managed to have an entire conversation with myself, fold all the laundry and disappear to the computer without being detected. Amazing, isn't it?!?!
I'm sure I could get rich from this discovery.....if only someone would listen....
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