Unnecessary Struggle

Wouldn't it be nice if loving your children was accomplished by fulfilling their desires? Wouldn't it be easier than true, Godly parenting?

I spent the hour from 12:30 am until 1:30 am today going over these thoughts in my head, as I listened to my 11-month-old son alternately screaming, groaning, crying and moaning in his bed. It is a necessary adjustment that we all have to make in life, the change from being a helpless, indulged infant to a person who understands cause-and-effect relationships and begins to accept that we can't always have exactly what we want. Child-rearing experts tell us that by about six months, our children no longer need nourishment during the night, and we should no longer continue to get up and feed them or even hold them every time they awaken from sleep.

When Matt was a baby, I felt the need to break his dependence on me to get back to sleep at the age of about six months. With Garin, I found it easier to continue getting up with him than to fight the painful battle of withholding something he wanted so badly, but I have realized that if I ever hope to wean him, these feedings must be the first to go because they are the ones that he most wants to continue. If he could speak for himself, I am certain that he would (as most children do) use the word "need" in place of "want".

Every parent knows that the pain of denying your children something that they desperately want is incredibly painful. It would be so much easier in the moment to indulge them, and many parents are more than willing to hold on to that "baby" phase as long as possible. I willingly admit that I am one of those. Unfortunately, change is often necessary to the process of growth and maturity.

I couldn't help but think of our Heavenly Father as I lay in bed last night, near tears myself. We, His children, are no different from our infant children when we face disappointment. We don't understand why things are happening; we don't understand why God doesn't let us have our way; we fight and wail and resist. We know from experience that He loves us. We know that He is trustworthy. We know that He won't abandon us or allow us to suffer needlessly. He tells us over and over again in His word, and He proves it over and over again in our lives. Still we fight Him, we fight His will, and we make the way so much harder for ourselves. He must shake His head and wonder what it will take for us to let go. If only we had the strength to be weak and to trust Him.

Just as my baby must learn to let go and rest, I want to daily let go of my own ideas and fall back into the loving arms of the Author and Perfecter (Hebrews 12:2), who will guide me safely through while making me more like Himself.