HOPE FLOATS

I'm not a fan of living in the past. I tend to think it's better to leave it there, with the exception of some very special and meaningful moments. But sometimes it's good to take a trip back and remember where you've been and realize how far you've come. Ten years ago this month, I suddenly found myself starting over in a new life I didn't recognize. My marriage was ending...it was all over but the paperwork. Matt was at his dad's house, and I was spending a lonely Sunday afternoon by myself for the first time in years. How did I cope? I went to the movies alone, another first for me, and saw "Hope Floats."

Early in the movie, Birdee Calvert headed home to Texas from Illinois (I am a Texas girl who was living in Illinois at the time.), and as she crossed the Texas state line and drove past pine trees and longhorn cattle, my tears and longing took over. It was a perfect movie for me that day, and I discovered the pleasure of sobbing in front of the big screen with only a soda and popcorn and to learn that I enjoyed being in a theatre by myself.

The movie ended with these words: "That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will... "

And suddenly I felt like there was a future out there for me. I forgot that moment innumerable times before the future found me, but there were many reminders along the way. Tonight, as Matt and I watched "Hope Floats" again, many of those old emotions resurfaced as I recalled how I'd felt that day, but the reality of how much my life has changed and how God has blessed me in these last ten years is truly overwhelming. If ever God's grace, mercy and provision is evident, it is in these last ten years of my life. For that I am incredibly thankful.

This has been a day of laughter. From this morning, when Garin in his jammies and Matt in his boxers were dancing in the playroom while playing cymbals and maracas (how I wish I'd had the camera handy) to this afternoon, when they were playing a new version of "Where'd he go?" that looked like an old movie. Do you remember the scenes where people are going in and out of the same room(s) and barely missing each other, each unaware that the other is there? Well, check out the video below, and you'll see what I mean.