JC Penney

It's strange how you can desperately miss something you've never had. As we all sat at the breakfast table this morning, it seemed like faces and voices were missing. The more we fall in love with D and K, the harder it is to feel normal without them. We are now one year, one week and one day into this adoption journey, and for each of those days we have known their names, their faces and their locations. I would not presume to say that it is easier for parents who do not "meet" their children until after the home study and dossier are complete and registered. Who am I to say? But I do know that loving specific children, hearing stories of them from others who have been to St. Petersburg and seen them, makes the wait seem awfully long. We bought presents for them last fall and sent them, along with notes, through a mission team that was visiting the area. Of course, we couldn't hint to them that we were coming for them, but we prayed that they would somehow know. Those gifts were purchased in the jewelry department of the JC Penney store in our local mall. It never ceases to amaze me how it affects me every time I step through the door of JC Penneys. This afternoon, we went in search of toddlers' sandals for Garin - a simple enough task. The minute we walked in, Karl and I both fell silent, remembering that it has been six months since that day and how we were sure we would have had them home by now when we chose their gifts and placed them on the counter to pay for them. And suddenly, again, the tears come, and life seems much too orderly and quiet. We are ready for noise and mess and bumping into each other on the stairs!

Would somebody please remind me I said that when the kids finally come home, and I'm losing my mind over the piles of laundry, the dirty dishes and the disagreements??? I hope I don't ever forget what a blessing the chaos of children can be.