Age, Growth and Maturity

I've become increasingly aware in recent months that the aging process does, in fact, affect all of us. I have watched loved ones grow old and pass into eternity in recent years, and then I've gone back and seen video of times that seem like yesterday in my memory but which are almost foreign to me because everyone looks so different...so young...myself included. It's a harsh realization.

When I allow myself to consider the nearness of the age of 40 and then compare it to how recent the age of 18 seems, it frightens me. As my 20-year high school reunion approaches in 2007, I am baffled by the fact that I have been out of school more than half my life. How can this be? My oldest 'baby' is 14 already, and I realize that he'll be grown before I turn around. Life passes by all too quickly. I want to drink it all in and miss nothing, but somehow the everyday of living takes up way too much of my time and attention. I have spent the past few days stressing out that my house smells too much like my pets and trying to find the perfect steam cleaner for my carpets to erase the evidence. Then suddenly today, I wonder if I've missed precious moments.

I spent most of today in the floor with Garin, soaking up his joy and curiosity. He is on right on the edge of toddlerhood. He lets go of the furniture just long enough to take one step and lose his balance. He's imitating words and sounds and learning so many skills all at once. His comprehension fascinates me. He is learning to influence the world around him so well. Today, Karl put him down for a nap, and after listening to a good bit of his fussing, I went to get him and let him sit with us while we ate. The very moment that he saw his daddy, he grinned from ear to ear and chuckled. It was clearly one of those "Haha, Daddy, my Mama rescued me, and I'm not in bed" moments. I knew then that Karl should have been the one to go get him. It's just obvious as we watch him that babyhood is almost gone. On one hand, it's a little sad; on the other, it's such an exciting and blessed thing to watch him grow!

I look forward to the future, to experiencing the blessings and wisdom that life will bring. But I think I should like to experience them with the total abandon of childhood. You know....no worries, no concern for the limitations of time.