Beautiful Day at the Beach

My friend, Kim, and I packed up our three boys this morning and headed to Cape Henlopen for some sand and surf. It was an absolutely perfect beach day, temps in the 80's and a nice breeze coming off the ocean to keep us comfortable! The boys had a great time. Colin, the 6-year-old, played in the waves and made some new friends. Garin and his buddy, Cooper, who is 2 months younger, mostly wanted to wander the beach and take up with other young families who had cooler toys on their blankets. Kim and I got plenty of exercise chasing them. Garin also found the sand to be a very tasty snack and would not stop licking it off his hands. I couldn't decide if he actually liked eating the sand or if it was the only way he could think of to keep his hands clean (one of his OCD things). Either way, we'll have an interesting diaper tomorrow, I'm sure! We were all exhausted by the time we headed home.

The most exciting part of our adventure happened just after we arrived this morning. One of the things I love about Cape Henlopen (besides the fact that it's beautiful and much less crowded than the more commercialized Rehoboth Beach) is that I have never been there in the summer that I didn't see dolphins. This trip was no exception. I have loved dolphins for years. I always thought they were cute, but I got to pet one at Sea World on a weekend college trip to San Antonio, and I was in love. They are such social animals and seem to be so fond of humans. I recently saw a story about a dolphin that saved an injured surfer from a shark that was incredible. At Cape Henlopen, it seems that they enjoy swimming with people. They stay very close to the beach, jumping, playing and, it seems, watching. Today there was a large group of dolphins getting closer than I've ever seen them there. They put on quite a show! And there was one little bitty one that came completely out of the water on the video. I don't know if you will be able to see it, as I have to shrink it and sacrifice quality for uploading, but watch closely. If nothing else, you'll see lots of backs and fins coming out of the water!

The hot mama in the red tankini is my friend Kim. Cooper is the cutie in the askew cap and green shirt walking up the beach with Garin's boogie board. And, yes, Garin has a nasty bug bite on his temple. He got it Saturday night in our backyard kiddie pool.

Busy week coming up! Tomorrow afternoon, we'll go the Wing Picnic here on base. Tomorrow night, our squadron is roasting a pig for Saturday's squadron picnic. We'll hit both of those too. We are saying farewell to our awesome squadron commander and his family this week. :-( There will be a golf tournament Monday and a spouses' dinner Tuesday, also. Plus, Karl has a deployment exercise to oversee Monday through Thursday. And, as if he weren't busy enough, they may have to put him on a mission leaving Sunday, as they are crazy busy right now and in need of an aircraft commander. How many places can one man be at once??? Stay tuned, and I'll keep you posted! :-)

Making Magic

There are certain days in this life that are inexplicably magical. Today was one of them for us, and we soaked up the joy along with the sweltering heat and humidity! Perhaps it had something to do with the relief of knowing that we are back on the road to bringing D & K home. Perhaps it was because it was a completely free Saturday to spend together. Perhaps it was just because we were all open to accept the blessings of the day. I don't know, but we are thankful!

Karl and I spent the morning mowing and doing laundry, respectively. Garin played, watched TV and spent a little time working on his alphabet with Elmo on the computer. (Matt, by the way, was nearing the end of an all-night bus trip...fun, fun.) When our electricity went out on what has been the hottest day of the year so far (in the nineties), at least until tomorrow when we expect 98 degrees, we took off to the mall for some lunch and a/c.

I have worn the same tired, sad bathing suit since before Garin was born. I've had no inclination to even consider trying on another suit since then, as my body refuses to regain its pre-pregnancy shape, and I've not been excited about baring it for the world. However, there comes a point, when your suit is faded, snagged and sporting a huge breastmilk stain from two summers ago, that a girl has to bite the bullet or stay away from the beach. I reached that point today. Amazingly, the suit I have been admiring from afar for several months was still on the rack at Macy's this afternoon! There were two left, and one was my size! I tried it on, and (oh my gosh!) it fit! And it looked good!!! And so the miracles began.........

We came home to a cool house, complete with electricity, and began setting up the swimming pool I bought earlier in the week for Garin. I have to say, for $29 it was a steal. It is huge for a kiddie pool, and it has a debris cover that fastens over it so it won't get nasty. Our little electric air pump worked hard, but we finally got it set up, and Garin had a blast in it! Here's a little sample of our fun (Note that he's still winking like crazy.):

We are going to have a talk about different kinds of kissing, I'm afraid. I'm not sure if the babysitter has let him see some questionable programming or if Karl and I need to tone it down in his presence, but yesterday, Garin climbed into my lap, raised his little eyebrows, shut his eyes and laid one on me. Now this wasn't a typical little-boy peck on the lips. Once our lips locked, he started sliding his head to the right, then to the left (all the while with eyes closed and brows up). Then, I kid you not, he opened his lips and started sticking out his tongue! I busted out laughing and laughed until I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Fortunately, he saw the humor too and laughed with me. I don't know where he learned about romantic kissing, but man, he was working it! I seem to remember Matt going through a phase where he wanted to be the man, too. How do you explain this to a two-year-old?!

Back on the Road to our Children

We had another conference call today regarding the adoption. Some of the issues of concern have been clarified, and we are now prepared to move forward again, making sure that all of our paperwork is perfect (as much as is possible) and getting registered. Things are looking up! Keep praying!

Brushes With Fame....

I've known a couple of famous people. Well, more like almost famous. When I knew them, they were just regular people.

I went to junior high and high school with certain Hollywood heartthrob, but he was just a regular, scrawny (although cuter than average) high school boy then.

My first kiss took place on a church bus on the way to our youth group's winter ski trip to Colorado with a a regular, scrawny (although very musically talented) high school boy I'd known all my life, who became a guitarist in a chart-topping country music band.

Today, I saw a regular, scrawny (although very tall, intelligent, handsome and caring) high school boy on television. It was my Matt on the Today show!!!

Matt's high school band is on tour this week; they spent a couple of days in Boston and are now in NYC. He called and woke me up this morning about 6 am to tell me that he was at the studio and that I needed to watch TV.

Now, these things don't normally impress me too much, but it was very exciting to see my "baby" whooping it up with his buddies on live national television. (Would not have been so exciting had it been a live feed from MTV's Spring Break, mind you.) But we made good use of the DVR and will be keeping it awhile for show and tell, I'm sure. If you haven't seen the teens with your kids yet, just wait! Everyone says that they grow up too fast. It is cliche, yes, but all too true. There is something disquieting about seeing your baby standing in the middle of a group of men and women and suddenly realizing that he is one of them. He, too, is one whisker away from adulthood.

Sure does make a Mama proud, though!

Memorial Day Revisited

As I looked back on previous posts, I realized that one of the highlights of my trip to Texas was unmentioned in them. I had the humbling privilege of speaking to a wonderful group of senior citizens at Buckner's Westminster, an independent living/assisted living facility in my hometown, at their Memorial Day service. As a military spouse and the granchild and great-grandchild of veterans, this is a very special day to me. I find it difficult to see the way most people "celebrate" Memorial Day, and this year I was able to spend it with people who really understand its purpose and meaning in a personal way. As these people made their way outside to sit or stand by the flagpole in the 85-degree heat and smothering humidity of an East Texas morning, I noticed that almost every one of them was wearing red, white and blue. They wore pins, t-shirts and hats honoring those who have fought for our freedom. Far too many of them also had framed photographs in hand, black and white photographs of handsome young men in uniform - the last picture of someone they loved.

One woman showed me her son, who died in Vietnam. His older sister was one of my own father's childhood friends.

Another woman took me aside to tell me that she, like I, was the wife of an Air Force pilot. He was a colonel who fought and died in World War II; she was a widow at the age of 38, just one year younger than I am.

One World War II veteran showed me a photo of his younger brother. They were in different units and were not stationed together. One day, another soldier saw his brother's picture which he carried with him and said, "I know that guy. He's here." The soldier took him to his brother, and they shared a brief but sweet reunion in Europe. It was the last time he saw his brother.

Below is the text of the speech I gave. I altered it a little as I spoke, but the message is the same. It isn't anything extraordinary, but I hope that as you read, you will hear what my heart wanted to say. I know Memorial Day has passed us by for another year, but there is never a day when we should forget the sacrifice that so many have made for us.



I am so honored to be here to share a few thoughts about freedom on Memorial Day. My name is Lori Heinrich, and I grew up here in Longview. I am the proud wife of an Air Force pilot who flies C-5 cargo planes all over the world. And I am the mother of two sons, ages 16 and 2, who I hope will grow up with a strong sense of patriotism and appreciation for this country and what it stands for.

My great grandfather, John Lester Baldwin, served as an Army cook in France during WWI.

My maternal grandfather, Paul Blackwell, was a fleet mechanic in the Coast Guard, and he and my grandmother lived in New Orleans during the war.

My paternal grandfather, Raymond Risinger, was a B-25 pilot in the Army Air Corps and served in Europe. He lived here at Westminster in 2005-2006; some of you may have known him. I remember him telling incredible stories about his experiences. He often told about the time he and several other men were flying planes from the United States to Europe. They had to make a stop in the Ascension Islands for the night. Their planes were to be maintained and fueled while they slept, and their parachutes were to be repacked. The next day, as they flew the next leg of their mission, his plane began to smoke and sputter. He was able to barely limp to their next stop in Liberia with 30 minutes worth of fuel remaining, and when they arrived, it was discovered that his fuel tank had been sabotaged and his parachute shredded by the enemy.

On another occasion, he and another pilot had one more mission to fly before they could come home. When the opportunity came to fly, they drew straws because they both were eager to return to their families. By the grace of God, my papaw lost and had to wait on another mission. The pilot who won did not return from the mission.

For as long as I can remember, Memorial Day has held special interest for me because of its purpose: to remember those who gave their lives for our country and for our freedom. It is an emotional day for me, as we reflect on the incredible sacrifice that so many people have made to make it possible for us to live in a country where we are able to follow our dreams, to determine our destinies and to worship without fear. More than 1.3 million Americans have given their lives for this blessing of freedom. I know that some of you have lost a spouse, a child, a brother or a friend. My father tells me that Mrs. Langford wears a pin every day in memory of her son who gave his life in Vietnam. I am here to tell you that their sacrifice, and yours, are not forgotten.

I was asked to speak to you about the price of freedom. Many of you who are here today have made sacrifices for our country through your service. It is a humbling experience to share with you, as your generation knows more about the price of freedom than I do. Far too often, the people of my generation take freedom for granted. Memorial Day is called a “holiday,” but I’m not sure that this is the appropriate designation. Too many people see it as a day to have a big picnic and a great party, a vacation day. While we certainly have reason to celebrate our freedom, this day is set aside to honor those who made it possible. Because many of my generation have never had to suffer for the cause of freedom, we seem to believe it always has been and always will be. But that could not be further from the truth. Thomas Jefferson once said, “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.” We must never take our freedom for granted, nor should we forget or ignore the great sacrifice it requires. It seems that so many in our country seek peace at any cost. Peace is a wonderful and worthy goal, but when we compromise our principles for peace, it cannot survive.

I would like to share with you my appreciation with all of you who have served our country. Those who have served in the military are a blessing to all of us. You have laid your lives on the line for our country, and there are no words to adequately thank you. But I also include in my gratitude those whose sacrifice was the loss of someone they loved and those who supported from home their service member. I know firsthand the sacrifices that are required of today’s military families. We spouses deal with lengthy deployments and have to learn to manage all aspects of our homes as well as playing both Mommy and Daddy to our little ones. It is hard sometimes, but I often think about those who were left behind during previous wars. Letters took much longer than email and were censored in such a way that there was nothing left but the salutation and closing. Phone calls were unheard of, and families waited weeks for word from their loved ones. I find myself worried if I don’t hear from my husband for a few days when he is on a mission. I cannot imagine the worry of waiting weeks or months for any word of a loved one away at war.

The protection of our freedom requires a great sense of honor, bravery, purpose and personal responsibility. I would like to share some quotes that I found regarding freedom and its preservation.

- Dwight Eisenhower said, “History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or timid.” This is true; freedom cannot exist unless people are willing to stand up for it and lay it all on the line.
- Gen. Douglas MacArthur once said, “No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in its preservation.” We all have a responsibility to protect our freedom as a nation. We cannot leave it to others. We cannot afford to be silent or still. As Americans, it is our obligation to do what is necessary to protect our country.
- Daniel Webster said, “God grants liberty only to those who love it, and are always ready to guard and defend it.”
- Webster also said, “A country cannot subsist well without liberty, nor liberty without virtue.” Virtue (moral excellence, goodness, righteousness), then, is a key to freedom. We must always be seeking the way that is right rather than the way that is easy.


From the beginning of our country, our forefathers recognized the incredible sacrifice that freedom would require. The Declaration of Independence was signed with the following pledge “And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.” Each man who placed his signature on that historic document also placed his own life on the line.

From Ft. Sumter and Gettysburg of the Civil War to the Western Front of World War I, from Pearl Harbor and Normandy in World War II to the Korean War, from Vietnam to Desert Storm, from Operation Enduring Freedom to Operation Iraqi Freedom, our men and women in uniform have understood that freedom was worth fighting for and that the cost would be high, but they have been willing to pay it. I am so thankful for each one of them.

On March 23, 1775, Patrick Henry gave a speech titled Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death. In that speech, he spoke the following famous words: "Besides, sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations, and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave."

Patrick Henry's speech was given over 233 years ago, but the message is still true today. God Himself knows the painful price of freedom. He gave His only Son to provide the ultimate freedom when Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins.

In 2 Corinthians 3:17, we read, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

I pray that we, as a nation, never forget that true freedom comes from God and that we will always be faithful to honor those who have gone before us by continuing to protect the precious gift of freedom for which they gave their lives.

Thank you so much for having me here today, and thank you for your commitment to our freedom. I would like to leave you today with this poem by Kelly Strong:

Freedom Is Not Free

I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze.
A young Marine saluted it,
and then he stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud,
He'd stand out in any crowd.
I thought how many men like him
Had fallen through the years.
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?
How many pilots' planes shot down?
How many died at sea?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, freedom isn't free.

I heard the sound of TAPS one night,
When everything was still
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.
I wondered just how many times
That TAPS had meant "Amen,"
When a flag had draped a coffin
Of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard
At the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, freedom isn't free.

My Gully Needed Washing!

Okay, now I can confess it. I spent most of last week in a funk. It was something resembling a really bad case of PMS, only it was the wrong time of the month, so there was no excuse but my own bad attitude and a lot of stress. I was emotionally and physically exhausted after the adoption setback, Eli's illness, Garin's new rebellious streak and the travel trauma, among other things. I was trying to resign myself to the new developments and make it all okay in my head, and I was trying to do it without falling apart. My conclusion: Sometimes you just need to fall apart.

I give it to God and stoically determine that because I have, I don't need to cry. My faith is so strong that nothing hurts much because I know that God is working all things according to His plan. Then I get all tied in knots on the inside, and I give it to God again. This brings up the question of how I can give it back to God if I already gave it to Him in the first place. I know the answer, but I don't like it: I keep taking it back. I don't do it on purpose. In fact, most of the time, I take it one little bit at a time, and it sort of creeps back so slowly that I don't even know I have it until I start feeling ugly again.

I don't know why I think that my composure and control is what makes the world continue to spin. What arrogance is it that causes me to believe that I am somehow the glue that holds everyone else together? I spent the second half of last week tired, beating myself up that I didn't get everything done around here as soon as my feet hit the Delaware soil.

This was "race weekend" in Dover, one of the two weekends each year when all of NASCAR-dom descends upon this small city in RV's and pickup trucks, taking every hotel room and claiming our main road, a six-lane state highway, as a pedestrian walkway. Race flags go up on every store and restaurant in hopes of enticing a little business, and drunken people of all ages and socioeconomic groups weave their way from one to another in various states of dress and undress, without regard for traffic. Those of us who live here know to buy lots of groceries before Thursday, go home and don't leave the house again until at least Monday.

I was looking forward to FINALLY having a quiet weekend with my family for the first time in many weeks. We had planned a menu of favorites - NOT diet food - and I had gone shopping. We had Karl's favorite pasta dish Friday and a favorite breakfast bread on Saturday morning, followed by a Chinese cole slaw accompanied by a complete meltdown for lunch. It was proof that food does not, in fact, solve every problem. Shocker!

I confessed my weakness to my husband, who, to his credit, had not said a word but must have been wondering what kind of hormonal imbalance had overtaken me. I had another talk with God, and within minutes, in an amazing display of power, He sent a spring storm to rival even the best East Texas gullywasher. As we watched the lightning and the rain pouring down and listened to the booming thunder, it felt like my soul got a good powerwashing - something I need every once in a while when I let the gunk build up, when I let the past haunt me and present taunt me, even though I know Who holds my future.

I don't have to be strong; God is strong within me. I don't have to be perfect; Christ is perfecting me. I don't have to to live in fear because the Holy Spirit gives me hope.


"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." ~Romans 15: 13


(So we spent the rest of the weekend eating more of our favorite foods and playing outside. We missed church because driving from Dover AFB to Middletown is impossible on race day. Three of my favorite movies were on TV - The Holiday, Under the Tuscan Sun and Steel Magnolias. And Karl and I played Rummy for hours after Garin's bedtime and during his naps. Karl commented last night that it reminded him of when we were dating and newlyweds.... *sigh*.... Me too! We needed that reminder.)

The Wink!

My two year old has learned to wink! I know....hard to believe, isn't it? In this family??? I guess with two ooey-gooey, mushy-wushy parents who still wink at each other across the dining table or across the room at least 30 times each day, it was inevitable. As we were finishing up our supper Saturday night, Garin looked over at his daddy and gave him a perfect wink! Since then, he's been unstoppable....except of course when I asked him to wink for the camera. This is the best I could get on film. It appears he was going through a lizard phase yesterday afternoon when I took this. I'm hoping this tongue thing doesn't become a habit. Watch for the winking just after he licks his filthy fingers.....yuk!

A Boy and His Grandpa....

I'm not sure where to start with all that has transpired in the last couple of weeks! Karl left on a mission three weeks ago. He was scheduled to fly to S. Carolina, Germany, Afghanistan, Kyrgyzstan, Bahrain, Germany, Texas and back home to Dover. "The Plan" was to be home within a week. Well, as any good Air Force wife knows, plans are made to be changed. Due to some maintenance issues, the trip ended up taking two weeks. A few days into it, it became apparent that his mission would be longer than anticipated. Since I had a couple of free weeks ahead, Garin and I packed up and flew to Texas to visit family! It was wonderful to be home! Garin loves the farm and the animals, but more than anything he loves to be outside. His first word upon waking up the first morning was "outside?" From then on, it was his most-used word; he wanted to be outdoors every waking moment. It took three adults to keep up with his two-year-old energy in the 90-something-degree heat. We spent time with cats, dogs, horses, cows, goats, the sole surviving chicken (long story) and Garin's favorite: frogs. We had fun with my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, my cousins and my cousin's kids. There was also a family reunion last weekend for my grandfather's family, and I had the privilege of meeting and reconnecting with some great family that I don't see often enough! We also were able to catch up with some long-time friends who are like family.

We spent one day with Karl's mom in Oklahoma and enjoyed some time with Karl's grandmother, sister and two nephews - one of whom was only six days old! Needless to say, Aunt Lori made the sacrifice of holding him and loving on him for much of the afternoon! As you can see in the video, Garin had a blast with Clancy Paul, his cousin who is 4 months older.

Our exciting trip home was somewhat less enjoyable, but we survived! There is a certain feeling of accomplishment that comes when you've gotten through such a test without tears or a straightjacket! Our plane was delayed five hours, and being the early birds that we are, we spent almost seven hours in the terminal. AND...being the IDIOT that I am, I had decided to check the stroller through with my bag rather than dealing with it through security. Never, never, never again. It was a huge risk that didn't pay off. I spent the entire seven hours trying to chase and manhandle a tired and cranky two year old. Needless to say, we were thrilled to finally get to Philly and get in our car. I used an awesome new parking service this time; for a $10 fee, they will bring your car to the airport and let you leave directly from baggage claim. That was worth a million bucks to me when we dragged in at 11 pm!

We're just trying to get back into our routine today. I'm doing laundry and working on the last few things I have to do for our final OSC board meeting of the year. I'm so ready to pass the presidential duties on to next year's board!!!

Some of you have been reading the blog of Audrey Caroline's parents. Audrey was born and passed away on April 7th. Her cousin, Gregory Luke, who is two months old, passed away in his sleep Tuesday night. Please continue to pray for Todd and Angie, and now for his sister, Nicol, and her husband, Greg. And let's continue to remember the Chapman family as they grieve little Maria. So much pain in these families. So much pain in this world. There is only One Hope. There is only One Comforter. There is only One True Peace.

We'll keep finding joy in the little things and looking forward to Heaven.....

Getting back to normal...

Great news! Eli began feeling better yesterday and seems to have recovered from whatever ailed him! He was admitted to the hospital and underwent ultrasounds and x-rays, but the doctors couldn't find anything, and he eventually began to feel better. It could have just been a bad stomach virus that caused cramping, but with his history, they certainly couldn't take any chances. We are so thankful that he didn't require surgery again!

Garin and I arrived in Philly about 10:30 last night after a five-and-a-half-hour delay at DFW. What an insane day! But we survived with sanity intact...barely. I have a bag full of great stories of a cranky two year old in a busy airport, but I'll have to get to those later, as I still have to unpack and get to a luncheon this morning.

I didn't want to mention that I was in Texas because my husband was stuck overseas. 1+1=2, and I didn't want to announce to the world wide web that no one was home at my house! I have some great video and fun to share from our trip as well!

Have a beautiful Wednesday!

Prayers for Eli

Many of you prayed with us last year when my nephew, Eli, was critically ill and had to have part of his intestine removed. He went to the emergency room early this morning with the same sort of symptoms, and we are waiting for word on his condition. The doctor had mentioned that there was a possibility of adhesions in the intestines following the surgery. Please pray with us that Eli will not require further abdominal surgery and that this will not have long-term effects.

I have been in Texas with my family for the last ten days and am scheduled to fly out this afternoon. Unless there are any major developments, I guess I will stick to that plan, although I hate to leave my family during a difficult time.

It has been a wonderful visit, and there are a number of things I'd like to blog about, but that will have to wait until I get back to Dover. Time with family is too precious to spend much time on the computer!

Please Pray

Our adoption roller coaster has reached a new low. At the request of our agency, we are not able to give details, but this is the most daunting road block we've seen so far, and it could end our efforts unless something changes. We covet your prayers now more than ever before. We ask God to give our agency representatives wisdom. We know that He is Lord of All, and we ask Him to intervene on behalf of His children. He is also the Great Comforter and a Loving Father. We pray that D & K will feel His incomparable love, protection and peace, now and always.

Thank you all.

Happy News!

The last few days have been crazy in a most enjoyable way! I promise to explain more in the near future. In the meantime, I will share with you the happiest bit of news that just can't wait: I am an aunt again!!!!! Karl's sister, Jill, gave birth to Auzy Luke at 1 am today. He was 8 lb 11 oz and was 21" long. Everyone's doing fine, praise God! Jill, Trint and big brother, Clancy Paul, have a lot of fun ahead! I called Karl's cell when I got the news, in the hope that I might catch him on the ground somewhere, and he actually answered. Who knew they had such good cell phone reception in Kyrgyzstan!

We love you guys!!! Congratulations! I can hardly wait to hold him.

Rekindling Old Passions

NO...I don't mean like THAT!

We have been in need of a focal point in our front entry hall since we moved into this house. This week, I finally took matters into my own hands! I made a trip to Michael's yesterday afternoon and picked up a pretty pot and some silk flowers to create an arrangement.

It's been about 12 years since I've done any floral design. I didn't really think I missed it. In fact, as I recall, the last time I did an arrangement, I was so unhappy with it that I lost interest altogether. But I spent the last hour putting this baby together, and I am so happy with it!

The photos don't look as good as the real thing (they never do)....bad lighting, bad focus....but I am proud to share my latest creation. I figure it's not too shabby for someone who hasn't stretched her creativity/color/texture muscles in a long time!

Here it is on my great-grandmother's dresser, where it will spend the next year or so, at least. I refinished this dresser several years ago. The mirror is in the basement and will soon be making its way up to join the party. As you can see, Harvey is going to be a challenge, I'm afraid!

Blessings and Burdens

Waiting is hard for me! Those of you who know me well are not shocked by this, I realize. I prefer to drive ahead, to "git 'er done." I have discovered that even after all God has taken me through and all the times He has told me to be patient, I still take off at a full gallop as soon as He reveals His will and expect everyone and everything else to fall in line because I am being obedient. I am not a steam roller, taking out anyone in my way, but I do carry a lot of frustration with me at times. These verses spoke to me this morning, another gentle reminder that I am not in control, and I need to get over myself. I suspect that there are a lot of us that may need to remember this:

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:13-14


It's been a strange weekend...

You know how there are certain old friends that you know will always be friends, the pick-up-where-you-left-off sort? Kim and Rob are those type of friends to me. We met 12 years ago when they were Air Force, I wasn't, and we went to church together in Illinois. Our kids played together; we laughed a lot; and we spent most Sunday afternoons and some holidays together. When my life fell apart, they were there for me, sacrificially giving of their time and labor to help me move, watch Matt, whatever. We stayed in touch, but they were overseas for many of the last ten years. I saw them last year for the first time since 1999, and it was wonderful.

I got an email from Kim on Saturday, saying that Rob's brother (who lives here in Dover - it really is a very small world) had died that morning of a massive heart attack at the age of 42, and they were headed this way on Sunday morning from North Carolina. They spent the day with Rob's parents and came here last night at 10:30. Kim and I were able to catch up a bit last night. It was good to see them, but I hate that it was under such painful circumstances. Kim's parents have both passed away in the last couple of years as well. Please keep them in your prayers. They are doing a lot of traveling in the next couple of weeks and will be back here next week for the memorial service.

Some close friends of Karl's family are facing a frightening diagnosis as well. His sister's lifelong best friend, Erica, lost her first child at birth because of a birth defect. She has two precious little boys now, but the youngest has developed either a tumor or cyst behind his eye that is impairing his vision. He will be having surgery in the coming weeks, and we pray that the doctors will be able to remove it and be done with it, that there will be no sign of anything to cause ongoing concern.

Mother's Day with my baby boy was relaxed and quite lovely. We spent the morning at church and came home for a relaxing afternoon. I missed Matt, but he called just after lunch to wish me a happy Mother's Day. Karl ended up getting stuck in Germany for a couple of days, so we were able to have some "family time" thanks to the webcams. (Greatest invention EVER for military families or any family that is separated frequently!!!)

I spent much of yesterday thinking about my new blog friends who have lost babies this year and praying for them. There is just no way to make a day like that better, and I hate it. It is like trying to ignore the elephant in the room. You wish you could just pretend it's any other day, but it isn't, and - frankly - in the midst of such grief, "any other day" doesn't feel that good either. I am fortunate to have so much to celebrate on Mother's Day because of the two boys I have and the hope of D & K coming home soon, but I still dread those days that will forever jump off the calendar at me: July 22nd and November 26th especially. I pray that in time these families will find a way to cherish the memories, make the most of every day, cry sometimes over the loss, but mostly look to the future and the plans God has for them with more anticipation and joy and with less fear and grief. God is so good, and He has a beautiful way of counterbalancing the deepest sorrow with the most incredible blessings!

I got some wonderful news today from my friend, Shauna. Her son, JT, is continuing to progress with treatment. When his leg was amputated, it was sent to pathology, so the doctors could get an indication of how well the chemo was working against the cancer cells. The doctors were hoping for a 50% success rate, as most of the kids are averaging 30-40% right now. The idea being, of course, that if it's killed 50% of the cancer in the leg, it is also killing 50% in the lungs, liver, stomach, groin, etc. They received the amazing report that it was almost 100% effective for JT!!!! (They cannot say a certain 100% because there could be one little cell in there somewhere.) JT has a couple more intensive in-patient chemos to go, and then in June/July, they will do one last high-dose treatment which will take his white cell count to zero and hopefully kill off anything that's trying to hang on. Once this is done, he will begin radiation on the tumors throughout his body. It is absolutely incredible to realize how far he's come in the last six months! God is so good!

I am walking in the Relay for Life with our church team in June and will walk in honor of JT and Julie (my neighbor who beat Wilms Tumor last year) and in memory of Billy Palmer and Karl's grandmother. There are so many lives affected by cancer, and the children touch me most of all. Our church is also having a hope and healing service next week to honor the survivors and the memory of those whom we have lost.

This is beginning to sound morbid, but I don't mean for it to. Part of celebrating life is recognizing how fragile and precious it is and how very blessed we are to enjoy it!

In other news, we had a storm last night like I have never seen in Delaware! The winds blew all night. The house literally shook and creaked. Our iron patio furniture was scattered this morning, and Garin's play equipment was completely disassembled and strewn about the back yard. The back windows and the car were pasted with shredded leaves that had been torn by the wind and plastered against the screens. I got very little sleep, and most of my friends say the same thing. It even woke Garin up. It was so loud all night! There is a lot of yard cleanup to do!

A Wonderful Gift of Faith

My precious husband surprised me today with the most beautiful Mother's Day gift I could have imagined.

I am the one whose spiritual gifts survey listed Faith as her greatest spiritual gift, yet when my own faith is waning, my husband comes through with enough for both of us.

I casually mentioned to him at Christmas that I wanted a mother's pendant for Mother's Day. At the time, we expected that D & K would be here with us by now. As the months drag by with delay after delay, I sometimes forget the clear call of God in our lives and the many ways in which He's done the impossible to bring us to where we are now, and I allow myself to slip into moments of doubt. I've never doubted that He has called us to parent these two, but sometimes I doubt if it will ever happen. How dare I! Hasn't God brought me through greater difficulties than these?!

Karl will not be home for Mother's Day this year; he will be serving our country elsewhere. (We've actually only spent one Mother's Day together since our marriage.) Tonight, after dinner, he presented me with the beautiful necklace above. It was exactly what I had explained that I wanted months ago. He found a jeweler that would custom make a journey necklace with six stones rather than the usual seven and do it with birthstones (from the top: Garin, K, D, Matt, Karl, Me).

I am incredibly humbled by this gift....by the beauty and meaning of it, by the effort and thought that went into it, and by the love and faith that it represents. I can hardly wait to show our children what their Daddy did!

The Boy Loves the Slide!

The child has no fear, but by-golly he does not want to be dirty! (Note the way he stops frequently to wipe the dirt off of his shoes.)

Off to the Playground!

Casting Bread Upon the Waters...

...or as we called it: "feeding ducks." Truth be told, the ducks weren't very hungry, and Garin wasn't exactly aiming for them. I think the fish, however, were appreciative! At one point, the seagulls were circling and diving to grab the bread. (Although we are a mile or two inland, the gulls like to hang out about town and pick up crumbs during the daytime when folks are around with food. If you've ever been to the shore, you know that they are like ants at a picnic!)

Pickin' & Grinnin'

Garin and Daddy were having some musical fun tonight....

Sowing Seeds

Most days, Karl comes home to have lunch with us. Today was no exception. As usual, it was a free-for-all, assembly-line, hodge-podge sort of lunch. Garin's meal was heated first, followed by Karl's, then mine, and we all sat down to eat.

Our custom is to hold hands around the table while we thank God for His blessings. Since Garin was old enough to sit in a high chair, our hand are always extended toward him as an invitation to join us. We have never forced him to hold hands. At his young age, it was impossible to explain the reasons, and it was not something we wanted to become a battle. Just as Christ extends His invitation to us, and we must choose whether or not to accept it, we have invited Garin to join the family in prayer and hoped he choose to do so. At times, he would grab a finger for a moment or two.

Today, something beautiful happened. Garin was in his booster seat, and Karl and I sat down. Before we had a chance to reach across the table and join hands, Garin extended both arms, hands opened to grasp ours, and said, "Okay?" We joyfully took his outstretched hands, and as Karl began to pray, Garin began to pray with him. Only our Heavenly Father knows what he said; it was in his own language. But to peek over and see that sweet little head bowed, eyes closed, praying to our Lord, was an indescribable gift and one I will always treasure.

Feliz Cumpleanos a Mi!

Today is my birthday......

I received my parents' birthday card a week ago and have kept it unopened on the kitchen island for seven days. It has been a constant reminder of the love that brought me into this world and the joy that these two people share on "my" special day.

Finally, this morning, I got to open it! My mom said that my sister and I are "all a parent could ask for in a daughter." It's amazing, isn't it, how even as an adult approaching (or maybe in?) middle age, such words from parents are still so meaningful and important....probably even more than they were in childhood because we now know how easy it is to stumble, to fail and to disappoint. I still need to know that I am making them proud, just as I need to know more than ever before that God is pleased with who I am.

My dad made this statement in the card: "If it is true that life is an adventure, I submit that you have and are continuing to live." It struck me how very accurate that is! As I look back on the last 39 years (YIKES! 39??? REALLY???!!!), I can certainly describe them as an adventure.

I've moved around and had the privilege of living in several different places...some that were less than enjoyable, others that felt like home the moment I stepped on the ground. I have learned to be content wherever I am and to appreciate the good things, and I am thankful for that.

I have met some wonderful people and some very cruel ones. Each of them has taught me who I am and, more importantly, who my GOD is. I am privileged to have grown up in a family that pointed my way to Him. I was foolish to ignore His guidance and spend almost a decade of my life feeling worthless and hopeless because of one man's opinion of me. But, by God's strength - and ONLY His strength - I found a chance to really live again. I took with me a beautiful son who gave me a reason to go on and get out of bed in the morning. My Heavenly Father surrounded me with amazing brothers and sisters in Christ, who held me up when I couldn't do it on my own and who walked with me down the long and painful path of healing. And then I walked into praise team rehearsal to see a handsome new face at the keyboards....and the rest, as they say, is history!

God has blessed us with another precious son and with two other little ones whose faces we never had the joy of seeing and whose cries we've never heard, but whom we look forward to meeting one day at the greatest family reunion we can imagine!

And now, here we are, waiting for our two precious kids from Russia. Again, children whom we have never held, whose tears we've not had the privilege of drying. But they are in our hearts, and we long for the day we will be together. It is a God-led journey to them.

I have been reading the blogs of two amazing families who have lost babies recently and are suffering unspeakable grief as they seek to heal and lean into God's loving and capable arms for the strength to keep going. It brings so many painful emotions back to mind, but it is beautiful to remember and to hear their stories. Those times in my life when I felt most weak and broken were also the times when the presence of the Holy Spirit was heavy upon me, when I physically felt Him there, when I knew that I knew that I knew that my prayers were heard, that he felt my pain and that He was making something beautiful out of it all.

I still have so far to go, but I wouldn't trade a moment of this life because of what I have learned in it. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness. Thank you for taking my messes and turning them into blessings. Thank you for turning my pain into ministry. Thank you for teaching me to love myself and others the way you love us. Thank you for making me more like you....

Thrills & Spills

A word of warning: This video contains a couple of good spills that might cause grandparents to jump out of their skin slightly.

Garin has never fallen off the slide before...until today. Shortly afterward, he fell head first out of the tube. And of course I had to catch it all on video. In case you're wondering, my comment about needing a valium was a joke. I have never even seen a valium. I do believe, though, based on what I've seen in these first two years, that my adrenal glands may get a good workout over the next couple of decades! You will notice that wiping out doesn't deter the child a bit.

He Shoots - He Scores!

It's been a beautiful spring day here. After church, we had a quick lunch and went outside to play before putting Garin down for a late nap. Here is a peek at Garin engaged in his favorite sport. Yes, it's an over-three-minute peek. So maybe I lied, and I am going to bombard you with cute little videos, but I really am trying. I cut almost five minutes out of this one!

More Videos...

Okay, I know, I'm sorry....I promise I won't upload 50 boring new videos every day. I just can't stand not to show you how cute Garin is (even if he is in desperate need of a haircut). In the video of Karl, listen carefully for Garin's comments. Enjoy!

Whew!

Air Force life is nothing if not interesting! More on that in a moment...

Yesterday was a gorgeous day with highs in the upper 70's! When Garin napped, I got out and mowed and trimmed the yard. I also planted a couple of hanging baskets for the front porch. It was so nice to get outside and get dirty! After Karl got home and I got cleaned up, we drove south to Milford, where there is a wonderful store that sells all sorts of fresh seafood. One side of the building is a restaurant where you can get the most delicious seafood dinner you've ever had. It is a down-home, comfortable beach restaurant - no frills, but awesome food. You just can't get seafood like that in the middle of the country. YUMMY!!! I took a few photos of our yard last night, trying to capture the azaleas. The sun was too low to show their vibrancy, but here are a few of the pics anyway:

It was a great night out, and then we came home and plopped ourselves down on the couch. Just after 10 pm, the phone rang, and it was the pilot scheduler. He needed Karl to head up a very exciting and unusual mission, but they were to leave Sunday morning! Bummer for me, as he would miss my birthday Tuesday, as well as Mother's Day. I wasted no time making alternative plans, though, and had airline reservations on hold by morning. Garin and I were going to fly down to Texas to spend the week with family. By noon today, I had all the arrangements made, but I hadn't purchased the tickets yet (thankfully). Karl had been at work all morning doing mission planning and called after noon, sheepishly saying he had some news: his mission cancelled! So as it turns out, I am not going anywhere after all, but I do get to spend my birthday with my husband. Garin and I are going to plan a trip to Texas in a few weeks instead. I may make a run to Illinois soon too, as Matt is eager to see us, and we are also missing him an awful lot.

This afternoon has been fun too! I bought the new Flip Video Ultra!!! I have been wanting a teeny digital video camera, so I can document our lives and post video here for family and friends to enjoy. I was so excited to find one at Sam's this afternoon, and it was $25 cheaper than I've seen it anywhere else. Happy birthday to me!!!!! Here is my first video....nothing spectacular, but fun nonetheless...with an extremely handsome subject!

Laughter Heals

It's been a rough day for me. I think that I was strong for Karl yesterday, and then today was my turn to be blue. My stomach was in knots all day. Thank God for good friends! Kim and Josh had us over for dinner tonight. The boys played, and we laughed....and laughed....and laughed. And I finally ate. I had been hungry all day but didn't trust my stomach. Tonight I forget about it all and just rested in the comfort of friendship. I needed that more than I realized.

I have been composing a letter in my head all day. A letter to my children - all four of them. I will write it soon, and I will post it here. I need a little more time to collect the thoughts I want to share with them.

Today is my little sister's birthday! We will be the same age until my birthday on Tuesday. I used to hate that she was the same age as I for six days of each year. Now I just wish I could stay that year younger! ;o)

There is no Plan B

I have a link to Angie Smith's blog to the side here: Bring the Rain. She and her husband, Todd, who is the lead singer of the Christian group, Selah, lost a baby girl this month, hours after her birth. Their story, their faith and God's work in their lives is incredibly moving and inspiring. This is a beautiful sermon from Cross Point church, sharing their story. It's 25 minutes long but worth every second. It's a wonderful reminder for us today that God knows the past and knows the future, and HE is in control.


Smith Family Story from Matthew Singleton on Vimeo.

There is no Plan B

I have a link to Angie Smith's blog to the side here: Bring the Rain.

The Latest...

****Update: We have hit another disappointing delay. The judge who reviewed our paperwork felt uncomfortable with the wording of one of our documents and suggested that it would be better in the long run if some changes were made before registering the dossier. Overall, we are so thankful that she took the time to make sure it was right - she certainly didn't have to. We appreciate the thoroughness of the agency staff to make sure there will be no questions later, also. But we are, of course, very disappointed by yet another delay. We do know that God is able and that He will see us through this process in His time, and we must leave it in His hands. Keep praying!****

I got an email from our caseworker this morning, indicating that she would call sometime today with an update on our case, but she gave no indication of whether it would be good news or bad news. We are waiting and will update you when we hear anything. Please continue to pray.

Table for Six

I've added this adoption blog to the list on the right, but I want to make sure you see it! This is the new blog of a dear family that will chronicle the adoption of their fourth child. We've had the privilege of knowing Bob and Jill here at Dover AFB. They have adopted two precious children from China and have a beautiful biological child as well. Bob and Jill have been encouragers for us through this adoption journey. Several months before God placed D & K on our hearts, I remember running into Jill in the commissary one day; we stood in the produce section for at least half an hour while she answered my adoption questions! Be sure you go to the bottom of the blog and watch their touching video of "Sophia's Story."

I Love a Rainy Night...

Remember the old Eddie Rabbitt song??? It's been one of those snuggle-up-on-the-couch days - cloudy, rainy and cozy. And the rain has gotten heavier this evening. It is a wonderful spring soaker! By the time the sun comes out again in a few days, I won't have such romantic notions of the rain, I'm sure, but we're enjoying it tonight.

It's been a good day, overall. I had a brief meeting this morning that went well, and then Garin and I went to buy some Lactinex. I'm hopeful that it will solve his antibiotic problems. I had a nice, relaxing afternoon except for running back and forth to check my email, hoping for some dossier news. Well, that and having to change my entire outfit after Garin had a particularly rough coughing fit that resulted in a flood of slightly used chocolate milk and Robitussin down the front of me! How is it that he always aims so that his clothes remain spotless?! It's an art, I'm telling you!

Today was my Memaw's 86th birthday! I called her this afternoon and had a nice long talk. I sure do wish I lived closer to my family. Memaw is so much fun to be around; she is very witty and one of the most kind-hearted people I've ever known.

We didn't get any news on the dossier today, but I imagine our caseworker hadn't received any information yet. Hopefully we'll hear something tomorrow! Either way, April 28th has passed, and whatever might have transpired is behind us. Now we just wait to find out. I just don't want to wait anymore! ;o)

Oh, the Nightmares!

****STILL NO WORD (4:30 pm EDT). I called at 3:30 and left a voicemail; no reply yet..... I'm guessing (just a hunch based on past experience) that there won't be any news today. Maybe tomorrow. I'm beginning to realize that my expectations are too high.****


****STILL WAITING!!!!!!! ugh....2:40 pm EDT****


****UPDATE - 11:30 am EDT - Still no word from our agency. I sent an email to our caseworker a few minutes ago, asking if she's heard anything. I'll let you know if I hear from her!****


Horrible, horrible nightmares!

I shudder to think of what my dreams will be the night before we go to court if I'm dreaming like this just waiting for word that our dossier is registered! I woke up from an awful nightmare at 3:00 am which combined a bad memory from my youth with a murderous rampage. When I was a teenager, fourteen or fifteen I think, I was asked to babysit for a family in our church. They had a little girl who was five-ish and a little boy who was two. I had lots of experience with babysitting by then; how hard could it be? Well, as soon as Mom walked out the door, the little girl jumped on her bike and took off around the block. She wouldn't stop when I told her to, and I had to chase her down the street and grab the back of her bike to stop her. She turned around and spat the ugliest insult she could think of at me: "You goose!" We went back to the house and locked ourselves inside, and the next thing I knew she had gotten a steak knife and was sawing away at a cardboard tube that contained something of her father's. When she got in trouble for that, she went ballistic again. Then her little brother started climb to the top of the entertainment center! Those two had ZERO discipline, and big bad Mommy came home and sweetly told them, after I had shared our evening's events, to just wait until Daddy comes home!

Anyway, their daddy was in my dream, and he was toting a handgun and coming after me in some large building with long hallways.....very strange.

Then I dreamed of K. She was being asked by the judge or caseworker what she thought of us after she met us. She said she didn't want to go home with us. She thought we were okay, but we weren't the family she wanted. She wanted them - the wonderful family that hosted her and D when they were here in 2005. I was heartbroken because I knew that they weren't able to adopt her, and I wanted her but wasn't the Mom she wanted.

I am so eager to meet and hug my children, and I do hope we get good news today and a travel date soon!

Oh the bliss!

There is nothing better than a chocolate-covered donut....or iced cake, or iced brownies.....Come to think of it, forget the donuts, cakes and brownies! Just give me icing!!!





This last one is for Grammy Su. She'll recognize my Pooh-bear cup, as it was Daddy's when he was my size!

Less than 24 hours....

By this time tomorrow, the business day will be over in Russia, and we hope and pray that our documents will be registered and in the hands of the authorities that can invite us to head across the ocean to meet our children! As we are going to bed, our representatives in St. Petersburg will be getting up on Monday morning to start their day. Please pray as you lie down to sleep tonight that God will clear the way for them and that He will remove any obstacles that might be placed in their way. Please pray that His will should be accomplished as quickly as possible. It will be a long night and day for us until we receive word. We are so anxious to go.

Garin has had bronchitis this week, so we've had a good case of cabin fever. Fortunately, Karl was able to be home all weekend since the exercise is over, and we've had some good family time. Of course, fever and coughing keeps Garin from going into the church nursery, so we are missing worship again this morning. I'm just so thankful that Garin is on the mend though. Can anyone tell me the name of that good stuff that the pharmacist will give you that replenishes the good bacteria in your digestive system? Not acidophilus....Is it Lactinex? The antibiotics have done a real number on my poor child's intestines, and he needs something more than yogurt. ***Many thanks to Aunt Pat, Mom and Marci for filling me in on the Lactinex!!! I'm going to get some tomorrow morning!***

My team bowled yesterday at the city tournament. I bowled well, but I don't think we did too well as a team. Probably no trophies for us, but we had fun! This afternoon, we bowl doubles and singles. I'm hoping to do well.

Not much else going on around here today. I love weekends! Have a blessed day!

Shameless Bragging

Forgive a proud wife for applauding her husband: The endless hours that my husband has been working in recent weeks in preparation for the exercise this week are being rewarded! He came home this evening feeling really good about what he heard from the debrief of the first crew that returned. Apparently, he had his squadron very well trained for the exercise, and they were able to execute the tasks that were required of them well and in a great deal less time than they were allowed. The squadron's crews, from what he's heard so far, performed exceptionally! I'm so proud of him and the guys and gal who work with him! Of course, I had no doubt they would be successful. :o)

As smart as my husband is....well, I wasn't today. I was chasing Garin when he ran into my closet, scooped him up, turned around and *CRACK!* - smacked my head against the corner of the door frame. I think I must have a slight concussion, as I have been feeling goofy all afternoon with nausea, dizziness and a splitting headache. Karl wasn't very pleased with me that I didn't call him right away, but I knew he would rush home and stare at me all day, and he had too much going on at work to do that. I wasn't that bad off, but I did spend most of the afternoon on the couch. I am hoping that I will wake up feeling fine in the morning.

Nothing new to report in the adoption arena today. We're just counting down the days until Monday (4 more to go!), when our dossier is supposed to be registered!

Time Flies!

Five more days to registration!!! Not that we're counting or anything. It's hard not to think about it, but we're staying busy enough that we haven't gone completely insane watching the tick-tock of the clock. We just want to go see our kids, and we want to bring them home even more. It just can't happen soon enough! Just ask any family in the waiting stages of adoption.

Two nights ago, someone was snoring rather loudly, so I finally went to K's room and slept in her bed. As I lay there, my busy mind couldn't rest. I looked at her pretty curtains and lamp, both in various shades of pink, and flowered sheets.....an oasis of feminity in a house full of testosterone! I began to dream about the day when she will fill this room, when her spirit will bring such joy to our lives, when D's enthusiasm for life and quiet strength will enrich us all. And I prayed....and prayed....and prayed. God has brought us so far on this journey, and I have no doubt that He will see us through, but the waiting - oh, the waiting! - is so hard. It's like the anticipation of those special childhood Christmases, waking before dawn to the smells of spruce and sweets, when the silence is deafening, but then the house creaks, and you are certain you just heard Santa's footsteps in the living room. Put all of that excitement together and then multiply it by 1000, and you begin to approach our level of impatience and yearning. We can hardly wait!

I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a few days. It has just seemed like I'm meeting myself coming and going this week! I have had several meetings this week, and we are preparing for an OSC yard sale this weekend. We're cleaning out our cabinets, closets and basement to donate some things for it. I thought we'd gotten rid of everything we possibly could when we moved here six months ago, but I was already getting antsy to cut back again. It's one of the benefits, I've noticed, to the military life. Keeping down the clutter makes moving SO much easier!

Garin is sick today. :o( Poor little guy is fighting a high fever, which he always seems to get with a cold. We've been able to keep it under control with tylenol and ibuprofen, thankfully. He doesn't seem to feel too bad as long as his fever isn't raging.

He loves reading his little animals book and can say the names of many of them as well as the sounds they make. It's so cute! Tonight he was kissing them all....and I mean ALL...good night! Probably a delay tactic, mind you, but it was precious. He is so gentle with Harvey and seems to really enjoy animals. Couldn't be my child, could he? ;o)

Matt had a band trip meeting last night and is pumped for their tour this summer. They are going to Boston and NYC for a few days. I think I may go up for a day or two and be an additional chaperone. Not that I think they need more help, but I would enjoy hanging out with him and his buddies for a bit. Of course, I need his approval first. He still tells me I'm one of the coolest moms around (whether it's true or not), but that doesn't necessarily mean he wants me to crash his party either. We'll see...

JC Penney

It's strange how you can desperately miss something you've never had. As we all sat at the breakfast table this morning, it seemed like faces and voices were missing. The more we fall in love with D and K, the harder it is to feel normal without them. We are now one year, one week and one day into this adoption journey, and for each of those days we have known their names, their faces and their locations. I would not presume to say that it is easier for parents who do not "meet" their children until after the home study and dossier are complete and registered. Who am I to say? But I do know that loving specific children, hearing stories of them from others who have been to St. Petersburg and seen them, makes the wait seem awfully long. We bought presents for them last fall and sent them, along with notes, through a mission team that was visiting the area. Of course, we couldn't hint to them that we were coming for them, but we prayed that they would somehow know. Those gifts were purchased in the jewelry department of the JC Penney store in our local mall. It never ceases to amaze me how it affects me every time I step through the door of JC Penneys. This afternoon, we went in search of toddlers' sandals for Garin - a simple enough task. The minute we walked in, Karl and I both fell silent, remembering that it has been six months since that day and how we were sure we would have had them home by now when we chose their gifts and placed them on the counter to pay for them. And suddenly, again, the tears come, and life seems much too orderly and quiet. We are ready for noise and mess and bumping into each other on the stairs!

Would somebody please remind me I said that when the kids finally come home, and I'm losing my mind over the piles of laundry, the dirty dishes and the disagreements??? I hope I don't ever forget what a blessing the chaos of children can be.

Busy, Beautiful Day

Whew! I am pooped!

I discovered late this morning that before he left for work my wonderful husband had taken the flat tire off of our riding mower, so it could be taken to the shop for repair. He also retrieved the push mower from the basement, so I could mow if I wanted. Garin and I picked up some Subway for Karl's lunch at 11:30. (We had eaten a late breakfast and weren't hungry yet.) We dropped Karl's sandwich at his office, dropped the tire off and bought some pretty flowers and herbs for our planters. We came home and had our lunch, and Garin went to bed for a nap. He was so kind to sleep for almost 3 hours today! I got the yard mowed and all of the flowers planted! This yard is really too big for a push mower, but I got a really good workout and some much-needed sun. I won't be pushing again if I can help it, though!

Tonight we bought 3 pizzas and dropped them off for Karl and the people who work for him in the mobility office. They have been there since early this morning and will be there until late tonight. They were so busy that leaving for food is an impossibility. I feel so sorry for Karl. He feels like he hardly sees us lately because of this exercise, and he had no time with Garin last night either. He is hoping that he might be able to wait until noon to go in tomorrow. At least we could go to church as a family that way....or he may want to rest. We'll see.

It's been a gorgeous day! Garin has had a great time playing outside, and I think he's finally back into a shorts and t-shirts frame of mind, thankfully. For the last few weeks, he went ballistic anytime I put something on him that didn't reach all the way to his wrists and ankles!

I'm ready to shower and go to bed! Hopefully Garin will cooperate at bedtime, in spite of his long nap.

Great Date Night!

Yesterday was another busy day, but it was incredible to get some new information on our Russian children! Each time we learn something new, we just soak it up and savor it, looking at it over and over again, trying to memorize it. It is like our little lifeline to them until we can have them here with us.

Last night was our date night at Red Square with Josh and Kim, and Karl and I had a wonderful time! We enjoy their company so much and feel so comfortable with them. We laughed hard and ate way too much. I won't even mention what the bill was! Let's just say that we won't be eating there regularly, but I don't regret doing it for a special treat. If the food we find in Russia is as good as this authentic Russian restaurant, I will come home fat!

The caviar was crazy expensive, but oh my goodness, so delicious!!! I had never tried caviar before, and I'm happy that this was my first experience. From what the other three said, they had not much cared for the salmon roe they had eaten before because it was big and sort of popped in their mouths. We all LOVED the Oscetra and Sevruga that we had last night. It's a bummer that it costs so much! It was served with creme fraiche, blinis and toast points. Oh my word, the blinis were SO good! (Can you tell I enjoyed dinner?)

Josh and I had an appetizer of crab and brie with toast (yummy again!). Karl had borsch (also very tasty). Kim had a blini with smoked salmon, capers and creme fraiche that was, of course, very good too.

For the entree, I had smoked duck breast (tasted almost like really good bacon) with French Foie Gras Roulade, roasted beets, baby greens and beet vinaigrette. Wow is all I can say! Karl had Royal Chicken Kiev. Kim had Pelmeni, and Josh had Beef Stroganoff.

I'm sorry - I realize I've gone on and on about the food. It was just such a special evening: two and a half uninterrupted hours of grownup time, experiencing just a taste of Russia.

It is another gorgeous day! Karl's flight got cancelled today, but he needs to go into the office all weekend to help with the ORI exercise that's taking place this week. I think Garin and I will make a trip to the nursery and pick up some flowers. I hope to mow while he naps and let him help me with some planting later. Have a great Saturday!

Long Day

After 9 hours on the road and a couple of minor blips with the paperwork, everything is apostilled and on its way to the agency. They'll send it on to Russia tomorrow afternoon! WHEW! We're celebrating tomorrow night by getting a sitter for Garin and going to an excellent and expensive Russian restaurant, Red Square, at Rehoboth Beach with our good friends, the Soules. It's the kind of place that parents of young children seldom go: coat and tie dress code, caviar, romance, etc. They supposedly have like 150 different kinds of Russian vodka. Big whoop - I don't like vodka. I am really excited about friends, caviar and Russian food, though!!!

Karl is scheduled for a great mission soon, too, so he's looking forward to that. Next week is crammed with OSC meetings (constitution & by-laws committee, welfare committee, meeting with ESC board), but the board year is almost over, and there's a lot to do to get ready to hand everything over to the new board.

My dad had surgery on his hand today, and he's doing well. He had a ganglion cyst at the base of his left middle finger, in exactly the same spot that I had one five years ago. Very strange. Thankfully, it's a pretty easy if rather painful fix!

In case I don't have a chance to write tomorrow, I will wish you all a fabulous weekend with beautiful weather and lots of free time in which to enjoy it!

Ca' Say Neeoooww

Garin has been working on animal sounds lately. He loves his animals book and is learning so many animal names and sounds:

Me: What does the cat say?
Garin: Neeoooww (points to cat picture)
Me: What does the dog say?
Garin: Rrrruuufff! (In a gruff, growling voice - points to dog picture)
Me: What does the duck say?
Garin: Qua' qua' co'-a-doo doo (points to duck picture)

If you're a Wiggles fan (okay, none of us are, but if your kids love Wiggles like ours does) you know the song "Quack Quack Quack Quack, Cock-A-Doodle Do" that they sing. Garin has learned those sounds from the Wiggles and whole-heartedly believes that this is what the duck says!

Karl nearly had a parental meltdown last night when Garin pointed to the cat without prompting and announced, "Ca' say neeoooww." All of sudden, the fact that Garin was in fact growing hit him like a ton of bricks. I do know that feeling! I reminded him that God was answering his prayer. Karl often prays at mealtime that Garin will "grow like he's supposed to."

In adoption news, we had all of our paperwork notarized and apostilled today, and our home study caseworker was at her agency's corporate office today and saw to it that the other papers we need from them were done correctly. So tomorrow I will drive to Philly and Harrisburg to pick them up and have them apostilled. They should be in the FedEx truck by this time tomorrow, Lord willing, and on their way to Russia 48 hours from now. Pray, pray, pray that all goes well! We are so past ready to get registered and go see our kids!!!

I'll update tomorrow night with good news. (How's that for optimism?)

YAY for DAFB!!!

It was announced today that Dover AFB is the best Air Force Base in the world. Check out the news release! This is a HUGE honor and accomplishment which recognizes and rewards our people for all that they do in support of country and, more specifically, in support of our troops on the front lines through airlift support. Not to mention the amazing dedication of the Port Mortuary staff who work long hours doing the emotionally draining job of respectfully preparing our fallen heroes for burial. Kudos to our men and women in blue!!!

Excitement

Wow, we're busy this week! I'm so thankful that we are able to be back on the move with the adoption, even as I dread the tiredness that will accompany it!

First, let me say that your prayers are helping. I have seen a real difference in our caseworker Friday and today. She is calling and emailing with information and is really on top of things today with regard to getting our documents ready and sent to Russia. She confessed to me today that she is an overly cautious person and doesn't move until she is sure all of her bases are covered. It seems that her greatest fear is something going wrong with an adoption because she wasn't thorough enough and missed something. That's not a bad quality to have in a caseworker, certainly, and it explains - at least to some extent - the delays we've experienced.

This week is going to be crazy! Karl is flying two locals this week, and he is also overloaded in the office right now. He got a ton dropped on his desk today and just called at 5:00 to say that he has no idea when he'll be home tonight. I have three obligations tomorrow and two on Wednesday, so both days are almost completely full from morning to night. Somewhere in there, we have to get documents notarized and apostilled in Delaware. Thursday has now been cleared and set aside to drive to Philly to pick up documents from our home study agency and then take them to Harrisburg to be apostilled. Then I have to overnight everything to our agency, so that they can review them on Friday before sending them on to Russia on Friday afternoon. But, praise God and assuming everything goes as planned, they will have them in plenty of time to translate and certify them and can register our dossier on April 28th!

Karl's stepmother had a birthday last week, and my niece has one this week, and once again I'm behind on sending gifts out. I need an administrative assistant!

Thanks again for your prayers! Don't stop!

We were excited yesterday that two other couples from our squadron visited our church! Because it is almost 45 minutes from the base, we don't see military families there often. One of the guys is the other pilot from the Sicily pictures. The other is a guy who works in the mobility office with Karl. Their wives are both active duty Air Force also. It was just fun to have them there. Karl talked to them this morning, and they said they really enjoyed it and would definitely keep coming. They had been struggling to find a church in Dover and were happy to find Connection.

Emma's Hope

Please visit the blog link, "Emma's Hope," on the right of the screen. Emma is a Down syndrome angel who was adopted from Ukraine and suffers from a heart defect and heart damage. The surgery is very risky because of her health, but not having the surgery is a death sentence. She and her family need our prayers for strength and healing.

Finally

We received the call we were waiting for this afternoon, and we have the information we needed. Again, I feel the kind heart of our caseworker, and I know that she cares. We just have to figure out how to work around our different expectations. We have a week to get the paperwork together and to her office, so that she can send it on to Russia for translation and registration on April 28. It is our hope that this time it will actually happen, although we have come to realize that there is nothing sure or concrete about this process.

It is an amazingly beautiful day here! The first high-70's day of spring with bright sun and blue skies. It feels so warm inside after the chill of winter that we are almost uncomfortable, but I refuse to start the A/C yet. It's just too soon! We are looking forward to the weekend. We're going to a birthday party tomorrow at the Soules' house. Kim's birthday (April 8) and the birthdays of both of their boys (April 2 & 4) are in the same week. Other than that and church, we have no plans. Weekends are great, aren't they?! It's funny how I live for weekends even now, when I no longer have to go to a job on the other five days. I guess it's just because business doesn't get done on those days, and Karl is usually not at work, so it still has that special, relaxing, family-time feel. I hope you all enjoy the weekend!!!

At A Loss....

We ask that you please join with us to cover this adoption process with prayer in the coming days. Our caseworker told us on Wednesday that they plan to register our dossier on April 28, but we have to redo a few documents to suit the Russian officials. She did not know how we are to change the documents but promised to get back to us with instructions.

Please pray with us for our caseworker. We are just lifting her up in prayer, that God will guide her and bless her life. We pray that she will recognize how valuable she is to the families she serves and that she will feel a real sense of accomplishment and blessing in her job. We pray that God will relieve her of any discouragement, stress or frustration that she may feel, so that she will be free to give her best to her family and to those who she is serving as a caseworker.

Thank you for your prayers. This road has been so long already, and these last few weeks have been the most difficult and painful because we feel for the first time like we don't have the full support of someone we are relying on to make it happen.

A Day's Perspective

Just thought I'd let you all know that I have simmered down a bit since yesterday's post. During Garin's nap yesterday, I spent some time in focused prayer, which I desperately needed. I asked God to take away my anger and give me understanding. I acknowledged His power and timing and just gave it back to Him. The thing is, I don't like waiting, but I know from experience that His timing is best. The real difficulty for me comes when other people seem to be imposing their own timing by lack of diligence or attention. I told God I don't expect it to happen in my time, but that I do want it to happen in His, not anyone else's. I have asked Him...again...to take control over every aspect and to accomplish His will.

There is such peace and power in just letting go of the things we can't control, but it can be so hard to do!

Anyway, we're disappointed but at peace today. We are working with a wonderful agency, but even the best agencies have blips at times. As I told Karl yesterday, we're still much better off than if we had not used the partnering agency. At least now we're moving forward, even if it's not at the breakneck speed we want to! They didn't have to help us at all!

Please pray with us that our documents will be registered on the next available date, April 22, if it is in God's will.

AAARRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!

After further consideration and a day to calm down, I have chosen to delete this entry, as I was rather harsh in my evaluation of the events of the day. Although I still believe that what happened was irresponsible, I do think highly of our agency and respect our caseworker, even when I do not agree with her.

Photos from Sicily

They really did get some good ones! Karl just brought in the goodies along with his camera, too. He brought two nice bottles of wine: one from Sicily and one from Italy. And he brought a beautiful bottle of bruschetta olive oil from Sicily. I feel like I should take a picture of it and post it too! It appears to be full of dried herbs, peppers and sun-dried tomatoes, and it looks absolutely delicious!

Here is a photo of Mt. Etna beyond an orange grove:

Mt. Etna in the distance under Freddy's wing:

Karl and Scott (co-pilot) with Freddy and Mt. Etna (this is starting to sound redundant, huh?):

This is my favorite! Orange groves in front of a smoking Mt. Etna:

Two smokin' hot pilots (hehe) in the cargo bay...Mt. Etna...blah, blah, blah:

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

We found out today that it is unlikely our dossier will be registered on Tuesday. The home study agency is once again taking its sweet time turning in the remaining paperwork, in spite of the best efforts of our caseworker to push it along. They have promised to fax it to the agency today, but that still will not leave enough time to get everything done that must be before registering. We know that God can move mountains, and it could work out somehow, but if not, we are praying for April 22nd. Our wonderful caseworkers are doing all they can, and we have confidence that we will wait no longer than necessary if they have anything to say about it.

God's timing is perfect, as He proves time and again. In the meantime, we are learning just how patient we can be when we have to. It's a good life lesson, if not an easy one!

In happier news, after a 3-day 'vacation' in Sicily, thanks to a maintenance issue with his jet, Karl arrived home about 2 am today! He enjoyed seeing Sicily and promises beautiful photos of Mt. Etna from his jet. When he unpacks his camera, I'll post some here.

We are enjoying a lazy family day together, and we actually have a remarkably free weekend. We'll be bored by the time Monday arrives, but we all need the time to recoup and relax.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

I got a BlackBerry message from Karl this morning in the wee hours, telling me that he was out of the Middle East and back on the ground. He had made a couple of stops to drop off/pick up stuff in the night and was supposed to land in Kuwait for crew rest before making another trip downrange. There was no room for them in Kuwait, it turned out, probably because they already had too many jets there. That happens sometimes. Karl and his crew were instead told to fly to Sicily. Now, here's the funny part. Karl had been up for 24 hours and was exhausted, so he was headed to bed.....then an hour later I get another message that he decided to grab something for dinner first: a mini microwave pizza from a box! The man is in Sicily, and he is eating cardboard nuked pizza! For some reason, the irony of it made me laugh loud and hard at 3 am. He travels all over the world and hardly ever gets to eat local cuisine because the stops are short and he's so tired.

The great news is that, because they were rerouted, he no longer has to head back in. He will be headed toward home again!